10
1097 Words
Livia
As soon as I hit home, I searched my drawer for my after morning pills and when I found it, I gazed down at the packet in my hand and figured I had been missing my pills. I tried hard to remember if I had not taken any after Liam and I had s*x but figured, I really had not.
I had not expected that this would happen either.
With a hand pressed to my mouth, I stared on at the paper in my hands as I sat on the sofa in my room.
How did I not see this coming at all?
According to the test, I was already ten days pregnant.
It wasn't Rick. That I was very much certain of. I placed a hand on my stomach and stared at myself sideways from the mirror. I was carrying Liam's baby, this I knew.
"Hello, Kaitlin." I called as soon as she picked the phone.
"Livia. It's been a while."
"I need a favour from you."
"Livia, is everything fine?" She asked, a sound of worry in her tone. Kaitlin had been a friend I made while in school and we had become really close. Although she was from a different pack, we had grown so used to each other. She was, in fact, the only friend I had and was in her last year of med school for gynaecology.
"Yeah... Look I need prescriptions."
"Umm... You could just get to the nearest pharma..."
"I'm trying to abort a baby."
After I said that, there was silence and I heard a deep sigh from her. "I just need the proper drugs that would be safe for me after cause, I can't really trust anyone here because I do not really know anyone that much."
"Livia.. Did you tell him first?..."
"It's not for Rick."
"What?"
"I told you we broke up but before that.... " I sigh. "It's for Liam."
"What? Liam? Hold on, you guys were...."
"It was just once." I said before she could finish. "Look I don't want him to know... I don't even want anyone else to find out."
"Why not? Why can't you tell Liam?"
"I'll tell you everything later. I'll come visit. But now just tell me so I can take a faster action."
"Livia... Are you sure bout this? I don't want to..."
"I need to do this. I'm sure. I can't let Liam know."
"Fine then." She sighs. "Livia are you sure? Let me give you a day to rethink this through."
"No, Kaitlin. I can't waste time. I need to do this while my mind is made up."
"Sure... But I'm only doing this for you since you seem so sure."
"Thank you." I whispered before hanging up.
"Livia!..." She calls and I hold on from hanging up. "....Tell him!"
I sigh before ending the call.
This was the first time I ever got pregnant and I never thought that I would make a decision to abort but right now, I new it was the best thing for me to do.
Rick had chosen Stella and Liam was even with someone else now. My mum died when she had me and I could not even remember my dad since he was said to have died when I was really young. There was no one I could turn to at all. Was I really ready to have a baby? I did not have what it took. I knew that.
"I'm sorry." I placed a hand on top the little life I had in me. "Your father isn't the type of guy I would wanna have a baby for. He's a liar... I have no choice."
'I'M PREGNANT. I JUST FOUND OUT.'
I texted to Liam. 'BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY. IM NOT KEEPING IT. JUST THIUGHT I'D LET YOU KN...'
My thumb remained hanging above the O in my keyboard. And by the time I brought it down, I was pressing the clear button and cleaned everything I was typing. And tapped on the delete bar in our chat option to erase what I had just sent.
When I received the medication, I held it in my hands and gazed down at it. It was just three pills. All of different shapes and each coming with different methods of intake. She said it would be completely safe especially since the baby was still very premature.
"You shouldn't do this." I listened to my wolf after blocking her off for a long while. But I knew I had to do this once and for all. I had been holding the pill on my palm for what seemed roughly to be thirty minutes. Closing my eyes tight, I threw the pill in my mouth and swallowed it with water before looking at the two remaining pills. I knew that perhaps this was going to take another forty minutes or more to take.
I was through four minutes when I clenched my belly and got up quickly. When I reached the bathroom, I pushed a finger into my mouth till I felt it dipping down my throat. The trigger worked after the third attempt and I came throwing up onto the floor.
My chest began to heave fast and my heart beat increased. My knees went tired at once and I panted violently while gasping for air, my eye searching the floor for the pill. And there it was already close to dissolving.
I got up and wear a frown in the mirror. Holding the remaining pills I throw them into the toilet and walked out.
I couldn't.
It wasn't out of guilt or any motherly instinct that a girl has once she conceived; I didn't believe in that s**t! I just know that I couldn't do it.
But there was one thing I was going to do and I was certain of it.
"Hello." Kaitlin called as soon as she picked the telephone. "Are you feeling okay? What happened?"
"Kait..." I smiled. "It's okay ... I didn't do it. I couldn't."
She sighs. "So are you..."
"No! I'm not gonna tell Liam and I never will."
"So what are you intending now?"
"I'm going to move away from here. I'm never coming back. It's not going to be easy but I'm gonna have my baby away from here and I'll raise it on my own."
"And if Liam finds out?"
"He won't. I'm going to leave and make sure that he never sees my face and not my baby."
"Where would you go?"
"Somewhere far away ..."
- Writer
