Honest

forty-five

Giuseppe

I wait to make my escape. I watch her instead, bated breath, pounding heart.

She gets everything she wants when she gets me alone.

Can I help it?

She's so beautiful, and perfect, toxic, and lethal, all the worst parts of me impersonated.

And I'd sell my soul to have her.

"You know I had to do this, don't you?" she brushes my hair from my eyes, cupping my face gently.

This isn't really about her feelings for me, if she has any. It's more about me wanting cut ties with her.

She can't let that happen. She won't let that happen. I realize that now. There is no...escape from her, once she's locked you in her sights.

I was fool to suggest it.

She holds my heart in her hands. She knows it. I know it. And she will squeeze, bruise, stab if she needs to.

And if I try to leave...this happens.

I guess she caught on to the fact I wanted to distance myself from her. So she lied, making it seem like she wanted to just get away.

No. She wanted to make sure I would never, ever think about leaving her again.

I wonder what kind of pain I have coming my way?

"You were trying to leave me," She emphasizes sadly, c*****g her head. "I couldn't let you leave me, darling. I love you."

No she doesn't.

She want to possess me. And I suspect she's used to me being obsessed with her. Almost worshiping her.

Well, we'll just call this a Goddess's wrath, huh?

"Oh I know, it's a little cruel, but you're okay, aren't you?" she thumbs the duct tape over my mouth. "Yeah," She smiles, "You're okay."

Is it wrong that I've fallen a little more in love with her? She's so cruel.

Heartless.

I like it. Because now, I know. She is suited for what I am. The worst of me, I'm looking right at it.

She can take it.

"You haven't been trying to escape. Not even subtly. You want to see where this goes, don't you?"

And so smart. It's maddening, really.

"I'll tell you," She smiles, "I'm going to condition you here. Similar to how abusers condition their victims. We'll sit here, and talk. I'll bring you food. And I'll let you out. And when you get comfortable, I'm going to hurt you. And after I hurt you, I'm going to soothe your wounds, and blame it on some imaginary figure buried within me."

My heart pounds. "And even though you're intelligent. Even though you know what I'm doing, you're going to believe it. Because you want to. And you will never, ever think to leave me again."

Isn't the devil so beautiful?

"And you know what," She says lowly. "I don't feel guilty. Because I'm sure, soon enough, you'll do the same to me. Oh but you probably won't be as physically cruel as I will be."

She's right. I'm more of mental abuser than anything. And she's emotional. She plays with the heart she holds, and when it does something she doesn't like...

Well it hurts.

"But you're strong for me, aren't you? You know I have to do this?"

I nod slowly. I do. Because I'm going to do the same in my own way. How could I be mad at her?

"Good boy. I'm going to fix some food. Make sure not to do anything I wouldn't like, okay?"

I nod. She smiles, rubbing my cheek softly. I close my eyes at the sensation.

"You're such a good boy. I love that about you."

I open my eyes, as she withdraws. And though I could start on these ropes...

I won't.