The Protector

Chapter 4

“-longer will it take?” 

“He needs his rest. He’ll wake up when he’s ready.” There was a silence. Before I could think on what the voices had said or even who they were from, I fell back into the darkness.

I slowly woke up to perfect silence. I opened my eyes to see the sunlight streaming through the balcony doors and falling on the white carpet. The sudden brightness hurt my head and I had to squint my eyes to keep the pain at bay. 

After I had gotten used to the blinding light, I opened my eyes again and sat up in the bed, noticing that there was no pain in my body for the first time in forever. With a glance around the room I found Tommy sleeping in a chair beside the bed I was in. He shifted to a more comfortable position in his sleep before opening his mouth and snoring slightly. I looked down at my body again and found myself to be in a loose blue shirt and shorts though the clothes didn’t look like my own. 

Since I felt no pain… that must have meant I was dead. But why was Tommy here then? 

“Tommy,” I whispered, my voice unable to physically be any louder than what it had been. Tommy’s eyes shot open before he jumped up in a fighting stance, his face rigid with shock. “It’s just me,” I reassured him, almost laughing at the boy who looked so serious at the moment. His eyes landed on me and he visibly relaxed before giving me a sheepish smile.

“I knew that,” he mumbled before sitting back down in the chair he had just been sleeping in.

“Tommy, where are we?” I asked while giving the plain room one more look over.

“My house,” he answered. No. No. We couldn’t be. That didn’t make any sense. 

“No,” I said, my aggravation seeping through my tone. “I mean are we in heaven, or hell?” Tommy laughed, causing me to become even more aggravated with the oblivious fourteen year old.

“Neither. You’re alive.” I guess the look on my face told Tommy everything that I was feeling, because he immediately stopped laughing and became very serious. “Ryder?” He asked in a soft, and frightened tone. I knew that tone because he used it whenever we were near my house or whenever he talked about my father.

“Ryder?” Tommy asked again. I shook off my daze, realizing I must have been staring at Tommy just then. Tommy seemed a little cautious and it would have made me feel guilty if I hadn’t been so frustrated and confused at the moment. “Are you okay?” He asked. I thought about his answer for a second before getting out of the bed and wobbling a bit as I tried to regain my balance. I towered over Tommy, my shadow casting him into darkness. I made sure to keep my face void of any emotion, just like that bastard taught me to. After all, I wasn’t weak.

“I’m perfectly fine,” I answered him. I moved away and towards a door that I guessed to be the bathroom. I almost sighed in relief when I found that it was the bathroom. Almost.

I closed the door behind me and made my way to the mirror above the sink that reflected the upper half of my body.

“I’ll… I’ll go get you some clothes,” Tommy called from the other side of the door. I didn’t answer but instead I stared at the face that looked so much like my own but so different at the same time. I scowled at the scowling reflection that looked back at me and wondered if my eyes had always been so dark. Eventually I willed myself to pull the gown or dress up to view the damage, a subtle discomfort rippling through my body from the simple action. I didn’t know how long I had been out, but it must have been quite some time since the bruises that were exposed on my skin were already turning a yellowish green from healing. Most of my chest was covered in large patches of gauze, hiding the mark from my site. 

Anger rushed through my body, my eyes darkening more if that was even possible. I couldn’t even die right. When would I catch a break? My eyes landed on a white square on my chest, hiding the scar that would hurt me more than the others. I ripped the white tissue away, revealing the burn that stood out as a reminder for what I had done. BE for Bella Enders. My mother.

I looked down at my wrists that had wraps around them to hide the marks from the chains. I clenched my bruised and cracked hands into fists, trying to hold back my anger by ignoring the pain I felt. Maybe if I didn’t act out on my emotions, I wouldn’t care anymore. Just maybe.

I took deep breaths to calm the storm inside of me but it did nothing to settle my anger, the anger that seemed ready to explode at any second. Looking back into the mirror I found that my eyes were so much darker than their normal light brown tone that I couldn’t help but think of my own father’s eyes. My father… Where was he? I would find out soon enough, there was no doubt about it. He would come for me again.

My scars reminded me of every painful lesson I had been taught since my mother died. The feeling of the silver ripping against my skin was a permanent memory for me. That silver rod in my chest was a feeling I’d never forget. His laughter still bounced around the inside of my skull, giving me a headache. The feeling as he whipped my back again and again. I clenched and unclenched my fists, my body starting to shake from the heat that rose inside of me.

I couldn’t even die right. I was alive. All I wanted was to finally be given peace and be allowed to escape this continuous ring of torture and I wasn’t even granted that. I let out a growl that echoed throughout the bathroom, my anger reaching it’s high point. My right arm shot out, my fist connecting with the mirror in front of me causing my reflection to immediately burst into a million pieces, releasing only a small measure of the anger and hatred from within me. I let out another growl as I stared at the remnants of the image of the terrible monster facing me, it’s eyes as black as night as small tears dripped from its eyes.

---

After Tommy returned with some clothes for me to change into, he quickly left the room as though he was scared which made me feel guilty again about what had happened earlier. I quickly changed into the sweats and T-shirt, discarding the dress I had been wearing on the bathroom floor while pondering on why they put it on me in the first place. I moved to sit back on the bed, noting that even though I couldn’t feel any pain in my body, I could feel something and knew that I would probably feel the effects of moving around so much whenever what they gave me wore off. 

I cast another glare around the room, wondering again where I was at. The room looked uninhabited and didn’t really smell like someone frequently stayed in here. I was tempted to get up and investigate the room more but before I could make any decisions, the door to the room opened slowly, revealing Tommy’s mother. I bowed my head at the Luna, showing my sign of respect that I would not forget about even in a time like this.

“Ryder,” her soft voice called to me which caused an involuntary shiver to run up my back. You couldn’t help but feel some type of unexplainable emotion whenever the Luna or Alpha talked to show that they were the more dominant ones in the room. It was a power thing that all wolves had. 

She moved over to stand next to my bed before hesitating for a moment and then choosing to sit down next to me. I didn’t lift my head, waiting for any indication that I was allowed to. I knew the Alpha and Luna from a very young age and even though they were the ones to send my father and I to the edge of the pack, I couldn’t help but hold a strong respect for them. It was an urge that every wolf in their pack had, an urge to protect and care for the leaders. 

“Ryder, will you look at me?” She asked, her voice so soft that I could barely pick it up. When I looked into her soft blue eyes I noticed that they were red and filled with tears that seemed prepared to fall any second now. “Ryder, I am so sorry that this happened to you.” She looked down at her hands for a moment but that moment was all it took for the tears to begin falling down her red cheeks. I couldn’t help but flinch from how upset the Luna looked, my link to the pack making me upset that she was sad. “I-We should have stopped this sooner,” she continued while looking back up at me with her teary eyes. My right hand took up part of the blanket on top of me in a fist as I began to get nervous about the situation. “I didn’t realize the extent…” she was cut off by another sob that shook her body and caused her to shake her head as if attempting to get rid of the emotions. She stood abruptly and made her way to the bathroom, causing my heart to race at the thought of her seeing the mess I had made with the mirror shards. But a second later she appeared from the bathroom with a tissue in hand, seeming unaffected by the damage I had caused. 

She snuggled before wiping her face, leaving behind a red blotchy mess. I waited until her breathing was even again before even looking up at her blue eyes which were aimed in the direction of my burned wrists. 

“How are you feeling?” She asked, which seemed to make her eyes fill with more tears. 

“Good,” I quickly rushed out, afraid she would cry more if I took longer to answer. “I don’t feel anything really.” The Luna nodded, her blonde hair bouncing slightly from the actions.

“The doctor gave you a few shots to numb the injuries but it will be wearing off in an hour or two,” she sadly smiled. As if on cue, I noticed a small throbbing around the skin on my stomach and wondered how much longer it would take before it would begin hurting. “He prescribed you some pain medication for when the shots start wearing off but it’ll make you sleep, so let’s go ahead and get you some dinner.” The Luna helped me up from the bed and walked me out of the room with her arms halfway outstretched to me as if I’d fall any second. My legs wobbled after a few steps as if they didn’t know how to function anymore, but I ignored it and pressed on. The Luna guided me around the house, which I noted was Tommy’s house, to the dining room that was connected to the kitchen. Tommy sat at the dining room table and smirked at me as I entered the room, all signs of the earlier tension between us faded. 

“Bout time you got out of bed,” he smirked, earning a scowl from the Luna but a smile from me. He always knew how to cheer me up, little chump. Tommy’s mom began to cook something in the kitchen, leaving Tommy and I to talk alone, even though she could probably still hear us.

“Where is my father?” I asked him, earning a grim look from Tommy.

“Dad’s dealing with him.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. That’s just what mom said when I asked and they won’t tell me anything else.”

“What happened?” I asked, not really recalling anything aside from the torture.

“When I didn’t see you at school for a few days I thought it was because you were sick or just missing school like you do sometimes,” Tommy shrugged with a worried look on his face that had the same effects on me as his mother’s sad face. “After a week I told my parents and my dad sent Beta John out to see if you were there. Your father said that you had run off claiming that you wanted to be a rogue because you had no future in the pack and there was even a trail with your scent and everything. At first my dad let it go but I eventually bugged him enough to send Beta John to follow the trail but it ended at river crossing.” I nodded as I listened, wondering how evilly brilliant my father really was. 

“But something bugged me about you just leaving all of the sudden and I finally convinced my dad to go talk to your dad again. Beta John and him went to your house but nobody seemed home and the door was unlocked. They went inside and smelt the…'' Tom looked away from me, guilt passing over his features and taking their place there even as he looked back at me. “They smelt all of the blood and that led them to you. Dad brought you back here and mom flipped out. That was eight days ago,” Tom finished, his voice somber as he looked at me. I looked down at my wrists that were still red from the chains that had been around them. I was out for eight days and my body still looked like this? Is that what silver did to you, makes scars permanent?

“I heard the doctor tell mom that most of your marks will go away but it’ll take longer since he uh… used silver,” Tommy whispered as if noticing my worry. After a few minutes of silence with the distant noise of the Luna making dinner, I spoke up with an even tone despite my growing anger at the memberence of the torture.

“Okay… Well when am I going home?” As much as I hated the idea of going back to that house with that man, the idea of staying in Tommy’s picture perfect household scared me even more.

“You were practically dead when dad and Beta John found you. I don’t think mom or dad are going to let you leave their sight let alone the house anytime soon.” I felt a strange feeling at the admittance of their protectiveness over me but it was quickly drowned by the sudden embarrassment that they were trying to take care of me.

“I would rather go home,” I stubbornly muttered, meeting Tommy’s eyes. 

“Too bad,” Tommy shrugged, making me think that he knew exactly why I didn’t want to stay. Before I could say anything else to him the Luna began to make her way into the dining room with two bowls in hand. She set the bowls of spaghetti in front of us along with napkins and forks. 

“Tommy, what would you like to drink?” She asked before casually resting her hands on her hips.

“Chocolate milk,” he smiled.

“Ryder?” She asked, turning her gaze to me.

“Water please,” I barely managed to say. She returned a minute later with the two drinks in hand and a soft smile on her face. As I reached for my fork I saw Tommy’s smile drop as his face formed into worry. 

“Mom, can he eat regular food yet?” He asked while his eyes remained on me. I looked from Tommy to his mother, wondering what they were talking about. Her previous smile was replaced by a firm line as if she didn’t want to say anything. 

“The doctor had to set you up with a nasogastric tube when you first got here,” she explained.

“It’s a tube that goes through your nose to your stomach,” Tommy explained with a look of disgust.

“But he took it out yesterday because you were stirring in your sleep. It was to get nutrients into your body while you were asleep but you can eat now,” she said, offering me a sad smile. I nodded, needing no further encouragement to devour the delicious tasting food in front of me. During the time I hastily ate the food in front of me and the three glasses of water that Tommy’s mother continuously supplied, I was feeling sharp pains in different places. I did my best to not let anyone see which I guess worked because the Luna let me talk with Tommy for a little longer, mostly about what’s been going on in our small pack lately, before leading me to a different bedroom upstairs. 

“Tommy’s room is right across the hall so if you need anything you just let him know. Or just holler and I’ll be here in a second,” she promised though I was admittedly more focused on the room than what she was saying. It was much larger than the room I was previously in and for a moment I wondered if this was the master bedroom. There were two doors on the left side of the room, that I guessed were a bathroom and a closet, and a balcony on the other side of the room. The room itself appeared empty but I assumed it was just because the room was so big. Was this where I was going to be staying?

“Why don’t you go ahead and climb into bed. This medicine will probably hit pretty fast,” the Luna’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts, my eyes directing to the brown glass bottle in her hand. I did as I was told before she moved over to my bedside and delivered a spoonful of the disgusting tasting liquid. I held back any faces the liquid would have caused but the Luna herself made a face at the sour smell of the medicine. “Do you need water?” She asked, to which I shook my head. I could already feel the effects of the medicine taking over, my eyelids feeling heavy even though my body still burned. As I was drifting off, I remembered something just before my eyes shut completely and I scolded myself for not thinking to say it earlier.

“Thank you…” I said though I wasn’t sure how coherent I was seeing as though I already found myself in a dream.