Finally

Chapter 8 - Confusion and Tension

It wasn’t until another night out with the group a week later to see his band play that he made his next move.

It was the end of the night when almost everyone else had left that he finally kissed me again. He made no attempt to take things further than the kiss though and called me a cab home, I was left feeling even more confused.

He kisses me and it’s amazing, but doesn’t seem to want to do anything else. He doesn’t discuss where we are in between the kissing and hasn’t made it obvious to any of his band or close friends there’s anything beyond friendship between us. My head is a mess and I just want to know how he feels, but I don’t want to come across as crazy by demanding to know our status after kissing twice.  I like him so much that I desperately want him and to know he wants me, I don't want to get my heart broken and this man has the power to smash it to a million pieces.  I need some answers so I can either relax and enjoy this or back away fast.

End of flashback

“He did eventually ask me out of lunch and I plucked up the courage to ask him if he genuinely liked me that way,” I tell Michelle.

“How did that go?” She enquires.

“He explained that he did, but just got out of a messy relationship before I joined the company and wanted to take it slow. He told me his ex was crazy, like really insane and had started stalking him after he broke up with her. He just needed some time and I told him I understood, I couldn't imagine what he'd gone through to make him so wary. He said it was best to keep it a secret at work because his team of mother hens would be unbearable and make my life tough at work so I agreed.”

“So you started a kind of relationship with him?”

“Yes, we arranged a first date. He got tickets to see a play that I’d been talking about for weeks. I agreed to pick him up since he lived with his dad and they shared a car. He asked me to text when I was outside because he wasn’t ready for me to meet his dad yet so I did. I waited ten minutes but there was no reply. I called a few times but he didn’t answer. Eventually he text back saying something had come up and he couldn’t make it.”

“What did you do?,” Michelle asks with a neutral expression.

“I went alone and had to walk in late, which was really embarrassing. I enjoyed it, but the whole time I was distracted by the thoughts running through my head. He’d stood me up on our first date and I didn’t even know why.”

“Did he give you a reason afterwards?”

“He said a friend had just had an abortion and needed him, it wasn’t his, she was just a friend, but her ex boyfriend was being a real tool so he stayed with her to comfort her. I’d never heard of this girl before or since, it was all a bit strange.”

“Did you believe him?” Asks Michelle.

“I did, he’d given me no reason to think he would lie to me. I wasn’t happy though and felt he shouldn’t have put another woman before me if he really liked me. He called me selfish and we had our first fight over it, I felt like a terrible person for not just accepting being stood up.”

Now, I don’t know what I think anymore, I'm just really confused and my head is too much of a mess to see things clearly.  

“We made up eventually and the following week he suggested we try again to date.”

Flashback

We arrive at the cocktail bar where we had our first kiss, which I discover is called ‘The Lounge’ it’s an unimaginative name for a place that’s unimaginatively decorated. We don’t sit in a booth this time, Adam chooses an area with sofas and we sit close together, he orders some cocktails and fries and it’s not long before we’re kissing again.

It’s more intense this time, like its leading somewhere despite us being in a public place. His hands stroke my back and mine wander under his shirt to feel his glorious body, I run my fingers over his skin which feels as soft as it looks and pause occasionally to feel the definition of his muscles underneath. It does nothing to calm the frustration I’ve been feeling  lately and after a couple of drinks I forget where I am and get lost in exploring him.

My whole body is aching with desire for him and I just want to tear the clothes from his body right here and now. My breath is hard to catch and I need him inside me so badly it actually hurts, it's like my lotus is on fire and his c**k is the only cool thing in a hundred mile radius. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” I ask him feeling bold and a little bit desperate.

“We can’t,” he tells me in a raspy voice, hoarse from all the kissing. “I live with my Dad remember.”

“We can go to mine?” I suggest.

He sighs heavily and kisses me firmly on the lips.

“I want you Zara, I do. I want you so bad right now, but I don’t want us to have s*x drunk, I want our first time together to be special. Why don’t we save it and plan for a special night at the weekend just the two of us alone?” He suggests.

I agree because I can’t argue with his logic, but I can’t take much more of this. The s****l tension and frustration is killing me slowly and driving me insane, how can he be so in control?  How can he resist giving in so easily?  How I’ll cope until weekend I don’t know. I need this to happen soon!