If You Loved Me (completed)

Chapter 8

It wasn't easy for Shivaay to confess even to himself that he LOVE HER, it wasn't easy for him to accept that his heart after all this years and all this pain, still beats for love and wish for happiness, no not his happiness, it wish for her happiness, after he promised his heart that he will never suffer LOVE again with all its kinds, he broke his promise, he couldn't keep it, not when in his life Anika!!

(Is something wrong with that spot, Shivaay?)

Shivaay was taken out of his thoughts by the question and he noticed that he is been looking at her for so long and not on painting the wall that now seems like he have been painting the same place for quite a while

.

He moaned in frustration and left the paint brush and shook his head.

Shivaay: that is it, I am done for today, you should rest too. You are cleaning all morning

And he leaned on the floor and over the newspaper that was spread on the floor to protect it from the painting process . As Anika left the cleaning cloth and sit beside him on the newspaper and smiled

Anika : I don't mind cleaning all day , it's nice to clean your own house, by your own wish and not another person wish.

(Then she smiled faintly and leaned beside him and he leaned on his side to look at her eyes that were smiling and her black hair that was spread behind her like an endless night .)

Anika : you know , I never felt this free before (then she looked at him and said) how it feels to be able to choose and decide for yourself ? I never knew the feeling before those days, it feels amazing ..You know I never chose anything by myself ? ..But I get to choose everything now, even if to clean or not.

Shivaay : you never chose for yourself ?

Anika shook her head hard as he raised an eyebrow and said ..

Shivaay : not even Surya ?

Anika smile vanish and closed her eyes in pain and his heart fall in his feet and wished he didn't ask that , he don't want to know , he want to believe her heart never beat for anyone else even if it will never beat for him

Anika : Surya ? I never thought of him as a choice ..he is Surya , my friend since I was 9 or 10, then my fiancé since I was 13 , even before I know what marriage means or what love feels like (then she looked at him and said) you know I don't think I chose anything or anyone before choosing you, Shivaay

Shivaay couldn't help his wide smile, maybe its good thing that he asked, he feels he is on cloud nine now but Anika said

.

Anika : too bad I didn't have another choice.

Shivaay smile vanished and his hand clutched on the newspaper angrily and felt to hit his head in the floor and said ..

Shivaay : you know what ? I think we don't deserve any rest, continue cleaning

Anika looked at him confused and said : you are the one who said we should rest, I didn't want to

Shivaay angrily : I changed my mind in fact I too shouldn't rest. We should finish before night

Anika pouted and took the cloth back and continue cleaning the glass as he took the paint brush to paint the wall and said

Shivaay : who says that , for god sake ?

Anika looked at him and said: said what ? Oh you mean ..oh god (then she chuckled) I see how you heard it now but you misunderstood me, I don't mean too bad I didn't have another choice but to marry you ...I mean too bad I got to choose you when I didn't have another choice ..I just wished if I got to choose you to be in my life before that day , not for any purpose but to enjoy your company ..Because you really mean so much to me ...you are really good person , my life would have been different if I had your kindness in it

Shivaay looked at her with wide smile and felt her words warm his heart and he pulled her hand away from the window and made her sit on the newspaper back .

Shivaay : didn't I tell you we need some rest ?

Anika looked at him confused and said : you changed your mind again ?

Shivaay smiled widely and said : what to do, I am lazy and I can't be lazy. While you are working

Anika : okay, as you wish

And he leaned on the newspaper and she was about to do so but he put his hand under her head and moved her head to his chest , so she can lean on his chest and her eyes widen

Anika : why is that ?

Shivaay looked at her with wide eyes then smiled nervously and said ...

Shivaay: it's ...because ..Umm ...yes , I saw a line of ants and I know you fear ants so I think you should be closer to me

Anika smiled :oh it's okay .. I don't fear ants , I am a village girl , remember ?

Shivaay lying : I said ants ? ..I meant a spider ..Yes , a huge spider

Anika smiled and said ..

Anika : are you kidding ? I had a pet spider when I was little , I called him yoyo ..Because of his threads and how he jumped on his threads like a yoyo (then she smiled widely) where is the spider?

And she raised herself to look at the spider but he pulled her back to his chest and she falls on him with a thud as he closed one eye and said

Shivaay : I meant a rat.. A big huge scary rat

Anika frowned and said: where is it ? Don't worry I can get it out. I have away

And she was about to stand but he pulled her back to his chest and again she fall with a thud and became confused from his action as he whispered angrily to himself

Shivaay : what kind of a girl I fall in love with ? She fears nothing ?

Anika: what are you saying ?

Shivaay said in frustration : nothing , I was just saying no need to try to catch the rat , the place is filled with cats and I left the door open

Anika gasped and hugged him tight and he smiled widely and said ..

Shivaay : cats ? Really?. Okay come closer then , I will protect you from them

Anika closed her eyes and clutched on his shirt and he smelled her hair and closed his eyes, he can live like that for years, for the rest of his life but unfortunately a faint knock on the glass made them both flinch and they looked at the window with wide eyes, but for Shivaay relief it was just the same neighbor of the morning, holding a plate of spring rolls..

But Anika wasn't that pleased !!

She rolled her eyes then looked at Shivaay with raised eyebrow who looked at her confused as she got off his chest , opened the window then faked a smile

Anika : hi ..It's you again ? Mrs. ...

The woman : actually Ms.. Not Mrs. , but hopefully soon

(Then she waved to Shivaay who waved back to her and Anika looked at him with the same fake smile but her eyes was giving him a death glare that actually made his smile vanish and take a step back as she looked again at the woman )

The woman: I couldn't eat , when you said you didn't even have furniture , which meant you don't have a cooker , so I thought Mr. ...

Shivaay : Shivaay , ma'am

The woman chuckled shyly and said : and I am Lakshmi

Anika angrily : and I am ANIKA, THE WIFE

The woman : yes , I remember ..So I thought the Mr. Shivaay may want to have a warm meal

Anika bit her lower lip and said with fake smile as she gritting on her teeth

Anika: Shivaay , you want a spring roll ..

Shivaay nodded and reached for the plate but Anika held his hand before reaching to it and said

Anika: or is that will spoil your dinner ?(then she looked at her and said) because it's our Anniversary today , he will buy me dinner

Shivaay shocked :WHAT ?

The woman confused: WHAT ?

Anika : what ?

The woman : I thought you are newly married ?and you said Anniversary ?!!!

Anika : oh , yes we are ...

(Then she hugged his arm and said ...)

Anika :it's the anniversary of our first meeting, he even want to celebrate this,(then she pinched his chin and said) god ,how sweet is he?

Shivaay tighten his eyes to her as the woman said ..

The woman : oh and how long since you met then?

Shivaay raised an eyebrow and said: five days?

Anika chuckled nervously and said: honey, you are so funny, but yes it feels like five days, because times with me fly, right?. Now let's go to dinner (then she smiled and said) thanks for gesture ,Mrs.

The woman angrily :MS

Anika : ya , whatever

And she closed the window and held his arm , went towards the door and pulled him out without even looking at the woman as he actually struggled so he can pull his wallet and jacket before they go from how strong she was pulling and the minute they walked far enough distance so they won't be heard , he said confused

Shivaay : what was that , again ?

Anika swallowed and smiled a shivery smile and said ..

Anika : do you mind buying me dinner ?

Shivaay tighten his eyes to her as she chuckled nervously ...

After 30 minutes

Their taxi parked in front of a huge mall and Anika looked at it with half open mouth as Shivaay smiled proudly and said

Shivaay : didn't I tell you I will show you Mumbai ..The first step is the mall, where you will buy dresses then we will have our dinner ?

Anika looked at the huge mall and said ..

Anika : so this is the mall ?

Shivaay smiled and nodded then bend and spread his hand for her ..

Shivaay : take your first step , village princess

Anika chuckled and took her first step inside and the minute she entered she gasped seeing the escalators

Anika happily : oh god , look at the moving stairs, just like the movie

Shivaay smile vanished and said : moving stairs ? Really ? ..Wow you never left the village , have you ?

Anika shook her head hard then pulled his hand towards the escalators and said ..

Anika : come on, let's try them

Shivaay nodded hard as she stood on one of the stairs then when it rise with her she put her hand over her lips so she won't scream in excitement.

Anika : oh god it's amazing ..It's even better than the elevator

Shivaay chuckled faintly and said : god , you are amazing ..I will miss that when you get used to the city life

Anika looked at him with wide smile and bit her thumb nail till they reach to the second floor and Anika looked at the shops of every kind and said ..

Anika : I am so excited , there is everything here (then she pulled his hand and said) look , they even sell gold here

Shivaay stood in front of the gold shop and he smiled faintly seeing the engagement rings as Anika pulled his hand again and said ..

Anika : look , look there is even a shop for dresses and ...

Shivaay smiled and nodded...

Shivaay : okay , why don't you pick up a dress and meet me in this restaurant. As I look on something

And he signaled on a restaurant and she nodded yes hard and he gave her the wallet

Shivaay : go crazy

Anika : are you sure ?what about your budget thing for the business?

Shivaay :okay , maybe not too crazy

Anika nodded and entered the shop as he went towards the jewelry shop and smiled faintly looking through the glass on the diamond engagement rings and wishing if one day he can put a ring on Anika's finger and wondered how this will feel ? he smiled widely for the thought but soon his smile vanished seeing a girl inside the shop trying expensive jewelry , he knew her the minute she turned her face towards him and his breath stopped when their eyes met and he rushed his steps away as she throw the jewelry piece she was trying and ran towards him with wide crowded with tears eyes .

The girl :BHAI? ..SHIVAAY BHAI ?

But Shivaay rushed more and mingled inside a crowd of people , making sure she lost his track as a tear slide on his cheek and he wiped it fast and rushed to the restaurant .

And sit on one of the tables with wide eyes, still shocked and whispered to himself ..

Shivaay : why I came back to Mumbai ? Why ?

And he held his head and closed his eyes and he didn't know where he drifted and how many hours passed, he just closed his eyes and got lost in the past memories and the pain he lived ..He kept like that till a hand patted on his shoulder and he looked up and it was a beautiful girl

The girl : are you okay ? You have a headache?

Shivaay shook his head and said : no thank you , ma'am

And he looked in front of him as the girl bit her thumb nail and said ..

The girl : are you angry with me ? Why are you calling me ma'am ?

Shivaay looked at her confused for few seconds then his eyes widen and he covered his lips with his hand ..

Shivaay :ANIKA ?

Anika looked at him confused and nodded yes hard and said ...

Anika: why you called me ma'am ?

He chuckled and shook his head in disbelief and said ..

Shivaay : oh god , look at you

Then he held her hand and twirled her in disbelief , she was incredibly beautiful , gorgeous beyond belief , her face bruises was not covering her face , they weren't even seen , her hair was wavy and thick and she was wearing a tight cocktail black dress with low shoulders and high heel shoes

Shivaay : you look ...you look (then he chuckled and said) god , I didn't know you are that beautiful

Anika smiled shyly and said : the first time you saw me It was dark and then you never saw me without dark blue bruises (then she bit her lower lip and said) I covered them with makeup I bought and went to the salon to do my hair (then she smiled widely and said) there was a salon too ..This place has everything

Shivaay pulled for her a chair and said : sit , please

Anika looked at him surprise and sat as he sat in front of her and kept looking at her with a weird lost smile as Anika raised an eyebrow and said ..

Anika: it feels like it's really the first time you see me.

Shivaay : I just ..I just can't believe that this beauty is mine

.

Anika smile vanished and looked down shyly as he cleared his throat nervously and said ..

Shivaay : I mean that you are my wife ..That what I mean , not that I want ..

Anika eyes widen and looked down more as he closed his eyes and said ..

Shivaay : I mean you are a beautiful girl , Anika

Anika raised her head back and smiled faintly as Shivaay smiled and said ..,

Shivaay : so what you want to eat ?

Anika smiled and said : I don't know ..I don't know a thing here

Shivaay nodded and signaled to the waiter who came as he said ..

Shivaay : we want your best dish , the best ..It's our Anniversary

The waiter nodded as Anika looked at him with wide eyes and said ..

Anika : you really believe it's our Anniversary ? We met 5 days ago

Shivaay smiled and said : I don't feel I met you 5 days ago , I feel I know you all my life

Anika smiled shyly as Shivaay held her hand and she felt shivers in her spine and said ..

Anika : oh ...here ..Is ..Your ..umm ..wallet

And she opened her new bag and gave him his wallet , and he held his wallet then smiled nervously

Shivaay: Anika? Why my wallet feels lighter

?

Anika smile vanished and said : I …ummm…I don't know

Shivaay opened the wallet then smiled widely ..

Shivaay: okay , dear ..Here what we will do , you will stand up and go straight out of the door and I will come behind you

.

Anika eyes widen and said : I spend too much that we can't afford the restaurant ?

Shivaay : just raise your head with dignity and walk out ..And I will come behind you

Anika swallowed and pulled her bag and raised her head and walked out without looking at the waiter as Shivaay raised his head high then wear the jacket and pulled his wallet as the waiter came running.

The waiter : sir, the order ..

Shivaay proudly: too late, now I have to go for my company meeting, excuse me

And he proudly took the jacket and went out as Anika burst in laughter, on how proud he walked out in this awkward situation and he held his chuckle too , then held her hand as they passed beside the jewelry shop and he sigh as it was now closed and Anika smiled and said ..

Anika : what ?

Shivaay : nothing (then he smiled and said) I am just too happy that you are with me.

Anika : you mean here ?

Shivaay : no ..I mean in my life

Anika smiled widely as they both walked out and the minute they reached the street and eyes looked at Anika, she felt really self-conscience and shy and touched her naked shoulder and, before saying anything, he put the jacket over her shoulder and pulled her to his arms to cover her from every eye even his own that was lost in her beauty that was hiding before behind the bruises as Anika looked at him and wondered how he understand her like that even before talking and why he cares for her so much ?

He looked at her eyes and smiled faintly as she smiled back to him and said ..

Anika : I never told you, how happy I am with you, right?

Shivaay shook his head and said : NO , how happy you are ?

Anika smiled widely and said teasingly : as much as I am hungry

And she signaled on a sandwich stall and said ..

Anika : can we afford street food at least ?

Shivaay smiled widely and got out his wallet and patted on it proudly ..Then he held her hand and went towards the stall and said to the person selling .

Shivaay : two of your cheapest sandwiches please. It's not our Anniversary

The man annoyed : cheese sandwiches then?

Shivaay proudly : cheese , village princess ?

Anika proudly : if you please , city prince

Shivaay nodded as the man just tossed for them the sandwiches and Shivaay gave him the money and they both sat on the pavement to eat as Anika ate hungrily and he smiled and said ..

Shivaay : god , how hungry was you ?

Anika looked at him with full mouth then wiped her lips and said shyly

Anika : I am not hungry, really

Shivaay : ya , ya sure ..You are not hungry at all

then he pulled a piece of the tin paper that was wrapped around the sandwich out of her mouth and Anika eyes widen seeing the paper of the sandwich wrap coming from between her lips then looked at Shivaay with wide eyes as he pulled it completely and held it to her and she swallowed

Anika : maybe I was a little bit hungry

Shivaay held his chuckle and nodded then took the wrapping paper off his sandwich and Anika asked teasingly signaling on the wrapping paper

Anika: so you are not going to eat that ?

Shivaay chuckled as she chuckled too then he looked at the silver wrapping paper for a second and a crazy idea came to his mind as he took a piece of it and rolled it around his finger as if it's a ring and for Anika surprise he pulled her ring finger and put it on her finger and she put her hand on her chest from gesture as he smiled widely and said

Shivaay : god that felt so good

Anika looked at her paper ring then looked at him as he smiled shyly

Anika : it's very beautiful, thank you

And she smiled faintly and took a piece of her sandwich wrapping then pulled his hand and said

Anika : you deserve one too ..You are a husband, aren't you ?

And she wrapped it around his finger as if it's a ring and he smiled widely and said ..

Shivaay : I am so sorry for what I will do

Anika smiled confused and said: what ?

And for her surprise Shivaay pulled her to his arm and kissed her passionately and her eyes widen and felt her breath stopped as he hugged her tight and deepen his kiss till he felt out of breath and had to break the kiss then he looked at her eyes and said with wide smile .

Shivaay : I changed my mind ..I am not really sorry, that is the best thing I ever did in my whole life.

Anika eyes widen as he closed his eyes for a second and said ..

Shivaay : I will go buy two cans of soda

Anika nodded shocked as he went towards the sandwich stall and she covered her lips with her shivering fingers as a girl sitting beside her on the pavement ..

The girl : he must really love you

Anika looked at her with wide eyes and said ..

Anika : I ...(then she swallowed and whispered ) I started to think so too

And she looked back at the sandwich stall where he was standing and put her hand over her lips

Anika : I....I... think Shivaay loves me