Endless pain

Drugs are my high my addiction, my unforgettable bliss but it's my numbness to reality because the truth is that the real world is f****d up. I lay here lifeless on cocaine and MDMA and watch how the hours roll on by. It's crazy how drugs make you feel so out of this world that you never want that high to leave your system. I feel so dead inside I feel like I'm losing my dam mind must be all the drugs talking to me all at once, I think I'm hearing colours instead of sounds. To be honest I don't even know what time it is or what todays date is because I feel like the days have just all blurred together into one. I try and get up but I managed to fall off my bed but I just laugh it off like it's the funniest thing I've done all day. Swinging lined shape shifting lights stray away far to the left side of my bedroom but as I look towards my walls they are wrapped in wicked dark green vines there sprawled out like a splashed out artwork that's come to life. As I pull myself up and off the floor, I walk towards the front door which only takes a couple of minutes then I just walk outside. Different shades of purple and blue spread across the sky with the clouds looking stunning as ever. I take my joint out of my pocket and lit it up, got to love w**d first thing in the morning am I right. I take out my phone and see it's already two in the afternoon so I send a text to Jade to see if she's down to hang out and she replies just as quickly with a yes. As I put my phone back in my pocket I look around at our neighbourhood. Haunted houses lined up side by side next to each other all dangerously dancing secretly close to one another, trying to bury each other's secrets in the night. Across from my house, fragments of glass lay beyond the overgrown grass as the house itself looks like something out of a mental institution gone wrong. As I finish my joint i decide to go take a shower and freshen up and not look so zombi like. When I'm out of the shower I take in my appearance in the mirror, my eyes are silver almost white like snow, my hair is jet black and super long, I'm tanned and I'm wearing all black as it matches my soul and mood. I grab the keys off the dining room table then I walk out the front door and lock it behind me, I then get on my bike and I'm off. As I pull up to my friends place, hop off my bike, park it on the white glossy drive way then I walk to the already open door. Turns out there are so many people here she must be throwing a party but I'm down for whatever right now. I walk into the kitchen and see all the details like it's my first time in here but it's not as the lights are faded like an old lamp post smashed up but hopeless to begin with. In the corner of the outdated broken wall frame hangs detailed silver twisted spine- chilling knifes of all shapes and different sizes. The counter top has every bottle of alcohol which makes this day so much better and on the other side of the counter is just a whole pile of drugs looks like I came at the right time. My friend Jade runs up to me with her short pink hair in a ponytail, she's wearing a blue button crop top with a stitched in pink butterfly and black mini shorts on with matching blue high heels. Her lipstick is bright pink and she's just a bubble of energy right now, "hey Sa5m how are you b***h been looking for you". I roll my eyes and make my way around her to grab a Jim bean. I lift it to my lips and downed it all in one go. After a few drinks and lots of drugs, we later talked and danced also Jade introduced me to a few other people that I had never met before and probably won't remember there names later on. Why does it feel like death is knocking on my door day in and day out but it's painted in your mind like an abstract artwork. Jade grabs my arm and says "ready for shots" I smile and nod, I'll see where tonight takes me. Xxx