Violence in Marrage

INTRODUCTION Ending violence in marriage requires both personal and societal action. Victims need support, not judgment. Families, friends, religious communities, and professionals should create safe spaces where people can speak openly about abuse. Education about healthy relationships, emotional intelligence, anger management, and mutual respect should begin early in life. Men and women must both understand that love is not ownership, and authority is not a license for abuse. For anyone experiencing violence in marriage, it is important to know that your pain is real, your safety matters, and you deserve help. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness; it is a step toward protection and healing. violence in marriage is not a private issue that should be hidden behind closed doors. It is a serious social and human problem that destroys trust, damages mental and physical health, and robs families of peace. A successful marriage is not one where one partner lives in silence and fear. True marriage is built on love, respect, safety, understanding, and mutual care. No one should have to choose between staying married and staying safe. Amara told me about a period when she was seriously ill. Instead of receiving care and support from her husband, she felt completely abandoned. Her condition became so difficult that she eventually had to leave the house. What hurt her most was not only the sickness itself, but the fact that the person who had promised to stand by her did not even check on her or ask how she was feeling. In moments of weakness, people naturally expect comfort from their spouse. When that care is missing, the emotional pain can be as damaging as physical abuse. These experiences show that violence in marriage is not limited to beating or physical assault. A partner can also cause harm through silence, neglect, emotional withdrawal, lack of compassion, and refusal to communicate. When a husband or wife consistently ignores the feelings, health, and wellbeing of the other person, the marriage begins to lose the very foundation on which it was built. Love is not merely living under the same roof; it is showing concern, offering support, communicating openly, and making one another feel valued and safe. Chapter One: A Marriage Built on Faith, Not Time Amara never imagined that her life would take such a painful turn. She had always believed that marriage was a beautiful journey between two people who truly knew, understood, and loved each other. But her own story started differently. Amara and Daniel did not really know each other before marriage. They were introduced by mutual friends who believed they would make a good couple. At first, they were simply two strangers trying to learn about each other. Their conversations were pleasant, and Daniel appeared to be a responsible and God-fearing man. Amara admired his calm nature and the way he spoke about faith. She believed that perhaps this was God bringing someone special into her life. Only two months after they met, Daniel told Amara something that changed everything. “After praying about us, I believe the Lord has revealed to me that we should get married,” he said. Amara was surprised. Everything felt so sudden. She had many questions because they were still strangers learning about each other. But Daniel was confident, and he made her believe that their marriage was a divine decision. Her friends encouraged her, saying, “If God is involved, everything will work out.” Holding onto faith, Amara agreed. She walked into the marriage with hope in her heart, believing that love would grow with time and that two people could build a beautiful life together. But what Amara did not know was that marriage requires more than faith alone. It requires friendship, understanding, communication, patience, and genuine love. As the months passed, she began to discover that the man she married was not the person she thought she knew. The same person who spoke about love and commitment began to become distant. The warmth she expected was replaced with silence, and the connection she hoped would grow started fading. Amara slowly realized that she had entered a marriage with someone she barely knew, and now she was trying to find love in a place where love was becoming harder to feel. Chapter Two: The Child Who Brought Light A year after the wedding, Amara gave birth to a beautiful baby girl—their first child and she was named Happiness by her Mum. For a moment, she believed the baby would bring them closer. When Daniel carried their daughter for the first time, Amara saw a softness in his eyes she had not seen in months. She prayed silently, “Maybe this is the beginning of a better marriage.” Motherhood changed her completely. She poured all her love into her little girl, waking up at night to feed her, singing to her when she cried, and holding her close whenever she felt lonely. But while the baby brought light into Amara’s life, the distance between her and Daniel continued to grow. They no longer shared a room. Daniel chose to sleep separately, and Amara stayed with the baby in the other room. Days passed with very little conversation between them. There were no loving touches, no deep talks, no laughter, and no effort to build intimacy. What hurt Amara the most was not the silence—it was the way Daniel came to her only when he wanted something. Whenever he felt horny and wanted s*x, he would walk into her room late at night, wake her up, and ask her to come to his room. There was no romance. No affection. No gentle words. No attempt to make her feel desired or emotionally connected. They would simply have s*x, and afterward he would turn away or go back to sleep as if nothing had happened. Amara often felt empty. Sometimes she was exhausted from caring for the baby. Sometimes she was not emotionally ready. Sometimes she wished he would hold her, kiss her forehead, ask how she was feeling, or make her feel loved before touching her. But Daniel never seemed to notice. He did not ask if she was ready. He did not ask if she wanted intimacy. He only seemed concerned about satisfying his own desire. Each time it happened, Amara felt less like a wife and more like a body being called upon whenever it was convenient. After returning to her room, she would lie beside her sleeping daughter and stare at the ceiling in silence. Tears often rolled down her cheeks. She was not crying because of s*x alone; she was crying because of the lack of love surrounding it. She had entered marriage hoping for partnership, tenderness, and emotional closeness. Instead, she found herself living with a man who shared her home, fathered her child, but no longer shared his heart. And slowly, the loneliness became heavier than the silence itself.