Lost in his embrace

Chapter 6.2

I see Tyler's eyes blink open before they meet mine. I didn't expect him to wake up rather fast; I wanted him to rest a bit more so that he could regain his strength but he seems fine already: he doesn't look pale now unlike earlier that it's utterly evident that he hadn't been sleeping normally for days.

He looks straight into my eyes expressionlessly; he doesn't move nor speak. It's almost one minute before I see his lips gradually stretch into smile and he even winks. I wonder in that wee minute, what he was thinking.

He gets off the bed and stands on his feet. It's funny that he's now the one standing with no clothes on. I gaze at the light hair that stretches towards his navel and the visible veins just below his torso. In the past, hairline or any kind of hair across the stomach or chest was kind of turn off for me wether you're a man or woman but maybe everything really changes—another hurtful truth.

I noticed, he appears bulkier than he was before and his aura completely changes into someone who's more matured—who's more capable.

He looks at his wristwatch. I don't know if he's also surprised or confused to find out that almost four hours have already passed because the lines across his forehead are clearly visible. What Grace told me suddenly surfaced in my head. No matter how big our problem is, I'm not going to leave you. Unless, It's not worth fighting our relationship anymore.

I scratch the back of my ear before I reciprocate his smile. I see his eyes roam around my room as though he just gets here. “So, This is what your room looks like,” he mumbles.

Suddenly, his eyes halt at something. I follow his gaze to see he's staring at our picture together; we were in his car but we don't seem like we were in a car because the background is completely out of light; Only our faces are visible. Thanks to the flash of my phone's camera. I looked downright happy and so were he. It's the only picture that I decided to print and develop last year. We only have few pictures anyways but this one is very memorable for me—for us because it's our first picture together. In truth, I had to persuade him just to have this picture and it took him ten minutes to agree.

I've never been to his room and I wonder how does it look like? The color of his walls and his bed; Is it king size? Queen? Double?

He walks closer and picks the frame up from the night stand. He stares at it as though he's studying every single detail of our picture and he does not want to miss a single detail.

Him naked while holding our picture together is something I find bizarrely attractive. I want to keep this moment. I swallow the lump in my throat before I say, “Can you just stand there while you hold that picture?” I'm not certain if he will agree but I have to persuade him until he agrees. He looks me through his shoulder with creases between his eyebrows; definitely confused about what he just heard. “Yeah?"

“I'll take you a picture while you're holding that.” He looks at me as though there's something across my face before his laughters resonate the room. “Van, I know I'm hot but are you that broke that you decide to sell your boyfriend?” I roll my eyes but deep inside, I'm happy to hear him laugh and joke. “Sell your ass! Just don't move. You owe me this one for not showing up for almost a week.”

He puts the frame back on the nightstand and walks closer to me before I feel the length of his arm wrap around my shoulder. “I told you to not move.” I nudge him on his stomach but he just pinches my nose with his two fingers. He takes his arm off my shoulder and laughs again. “Calm your heart, Van.” He raises both his arms over his head while there's a contagious smile visible across his face.

He's truly a bipolar.

“Do you really want me to stay naked while you take me a picture?” he asks, absolutely not trusting what I just instructed him to do. Even me, I won't let someone take a picture of my naked body, If ever someone asks me.

“If you're not selling it, Then what are you going to do with it?” I just want to have a remembrance of this rare moment of him but that's too shallow and I know he won't buy it, and he will just tell me that I could see him naked everyday if I wish to and such—I mean yeah, I also want that but I'm not that desperate; a picture of him naked is enough remembrance. I know it still sounds desperate and weird craving at the same time. I don't think craving is even the right term to say; Perhaps, yearn or it could be just both yearn and craving.

I know how his mind works already. So, he won't certainly take any of my reasonings but I won't give up. I'll make him agree no matter what. “Just one picture.” I walk towards the bed where his clothes are. I see him intently gaze me out of the corner of my eye. I hold them tight grip in my hands so that he couldn't dress up. “All right! Just don't sell it.” Does he really think that I'm selling his picture? Although, I'm certain that I can make a lot of money out of it; It can even surely pay my tuition at school but that did not surface in my mind—only once when I first saw his ass but that doesn't count at all.

But I nod nevertheless. “I won't. Just stand still over there and hold that picture.” He stares at me for a second before he nods reluctantly. I want to laugh at his expression but I decide against it because he might not agree anymore.

***

I can't take the wide grin off my face as I stare at the picture in my phone. Looking at it, I think, I'll reconsider selling it. Tyler just looks at me as though I have lost my mind somewhere. Well, It's successfully done and he can't take it back anymore. I click save before I give him a wink which he obviously doesn't buy. I walk towards the bed and place my phone above the pillow. I see him put his T-shirt on and glance at his watch to check the time.

“I have to go, Van,” he says as he zips the zipper up of his pants. After this, where he will go? Perhaps, the right question may be: Who he will meet?

He walks closer to me and suddenly hugs me tight. I wrap my arms below his chest. He puts his chin above my head before I hear him say under his breath, “I love you.” I caress his back before I respond, “I love you too." I really do. Cringey may it sound to some but I couldn't love him more and It hurts me to know that he's secretly hurting on the inside. Whatever problem he goes through, I'm just always here for him and I hope he knows that—I may never initiate to say I love you first to him but I hope he could feel it. I really do hope.

My mind wanders about my parents and my brothers; I haven't heard a word from them since in the morning except for my father who acted rater weirdly. Perhaps, They just want us to have a peaceful time together but that's already an excessive amount of peaceful time they gave us. Knowing my mom, I don't think she can restrain herself from just sitting around—wherever she is in the house. I know my mother too well, that's why something is really weird in the house. I forgot that I haven't had my breakfast but I didn't feel hungry at all until I think of it now; my stomach suddenly growls and feels empty. I'll just eat later after he leaves. I wonder if he has had his breakfast also. Did my parents make a breakfast for him? Did he watch me sleep on the couch before he went into my room? And what did he do all along while he's in my room?

A sudden muffled ring disturbs our moment. At first, I thought it's my phone because it's the same ringtone as my phone's but my eyes caught my phone above the pillow and it's silently resting there.

I'm the one who initiates to break our embrace.

He frisks the pocket of his pants to make sure that his phone is inside it before he fishes it out. I see the caller's number isn't registered on his phone but based on his reaction, he expected the person to call him at this hour. He silently says to me that he will go to the balcony for a while to answer the call and I just smile and nod. The room is flooded with sunbeams as he opens the door towards the balcony but in just a matter of second, the room returns to its former state which is: slightly dim. I wanted to eavesdrop but I second-thought about it, So I just decided not to.