Running from one Alpha into the bed of another.

everything clicks

Chapter 18

Ash POV

Kelly and I stayed in the water together for some time. She held me and let me cry, I have no idea how much time passed as we sat together. When I had finished and my sobs turned to hiccups, she released me.

“now, are you ready to talk to me? Tell me what your feeling?” there was a hint of sadness in her voice.

“ok, I know im being selfish, but I didn’t want to have pups straight away. There are so many things that have happened, so many things I have not worked through, I still get nightmares, I mean.. just last week I woke up and punched your brother in the face. We have a threat coming our way, what will he do when he finds out im expecting? Will he turn and leave, will he fight to take me so he can have my child?” I sighed. Every emotion I was concealing was coming through, every fear I was having spilling out of me. I didn’t know how badly I needed to talk to her.

“I get it.. but, do you realise what you just said? Your biggest concerns, to me, sound like your afraid you wont be a good mother and that your worried about your childs safety.. isn’t that a normal fear for every new mother? Even Luna’s go through this fear and sometimes more than others, being in a higher position in a pack always leaves a trail of fear.” After everything we went through she some how manages to be my rock.

“your right” I whispered in realisation that my fear wasn’t about my age or my past, it was about my future and how to safe guard it for my pup. “where is Jamie? I need to talk to him.” We stood up together and grabbed towels to dry us off. I walked into my room and grabbed Kelly some clothes and let her change first. When she was done I switched places with her.

“I will go and get him for you. He will be here by the time you come out..” she stopped herself from saying something else.

“spit it out Kel, whats wrong?” I asked her, drying my body behind the door.

“Jamie’s devastated that you wanted me before him, after all your mates and he should have been the one to comfort you. I just thought you should know is all.” Oh, I never thought about that. Not once did I think about how I was making him feel. I heard the door open and a moment later I heard it shut. I finished getting my self dressed and thought about what I would tell him.

Be honest with him. Let him know how you really feel about carrying his pup and the reason you were so scared. Tell him why you confide in Kelly. Im sure he will understand.. in time’

Like always, my wolf was honest and gave me the kick in the butt I needed. I never heard the door open again but I knew he was there. I could feel him behind the door, smell him, and feel his sorrow. I took one more deep breath and went in to see him.

Jamie POV

Kelly came out of the room, she told me that Ash was ready to see me and to wait in the room for her. I had so many things I needed to know about her, but I never wanted to push her. I always wanted her to be able to tell me on her own. But this, I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t talk to me? Her mate.

When she came out of the bathroom, she saw me, I was sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. Carefully hiding my emotions from her. She made her way towards me, I put my hand up to stop her. If she touched me now, I would lose my control and I didn’t want her to be frightened. She lost her smile and sat in the corner of the bed. We sat in silence before she cleared her throat.

“I am sorry. I have been so, well selfish doesn’t being to cover it, but that’s what I am. But I don’t want to be selfish anymore. I need to tell you how I feel, and honestly, I don’t know if your ready to hear it.” she mumbled the last part, but I could hear her. She looked down at her hands, not making eye contact with me. Without thinking I went and sat with her, I pulled her to my lap and placed my hands on her stomach. Instead of pulling away she smiled. I could no longer feel the sadness that was there before, only worry and joy. She bowed her head and began to speak.

“you know what I went through with my family, craig and the moon goddess.. I thought I would be ok with a lot of it after I met you, after the moon goddess told me who I am and what we could be together. But I’m scared. I am terrified that with all of my past, I won’t make a good mother, I won’t be able to protect my pup, or you when I need to. I am not a strong person.” She started to sob but kept control of herself. I stayed still, rubbing her stomach and rested me head on her neck.

“I spent so many days, after I was beaten, talking to Kelly. She became my only friend and when something was wrong or I was upset, she was always there to listen to me. I need you to understand, I didn’t choose her over you. I just haven’t adapted to having you here, in my life, until about ten minutes ago.

I was devastated at being pregnant, so many thoughts went through my head, about my age, what I would miss out on in life, but I would be gaining so many new things and I would be doing it with you. I understand that I have hurt you and the mess I have created trying to figure all this out. But, I want to have your pups, I want to spend my life confiding my thoughts and feeling to you. I love you.” She told me. My whole body froze…. Did she just say that she loved me? I hugged her tighter to my body and we sat that way for some time.

“I love you too.” I whispered into her hair. I felt her whole body relax and mould to mine.

“does that mean that I can tell everyone?” I asked her.

“ah, about that…” she spun to face me “ do you think that’s a good idea right now?”

“why wouldn’t it be? You are the Luna of this pack and we should celebrate our news with them.” I told her. She blushed but her eyes flickered to silver. I was still amazed that she had the ability to change her eyes back to her normal colour.

“I don’t want him to find out and try and take our baby from us.” Our baby. Those words out of her mouth were mind blowing. I took her face in my hands and began to softly kiss her lips. She gasped in shock but kissed me back. This is where we spent the rest of our day.