The Wayward Daughter

Chapter 16

TATLONG BESES na bumusina si Joaquin at nagmamadaling lumabas ng bahay si Luna para pagbuksan ng gate ang bagong dating. Nang makapasok at mapatay ang makina ng motorsiklo ay nauna na si Luna sa loob ng bahay at hinintay si Joaquin na makapasok.

Ito na ang nag-lock ng bahay.

“How’s Monique?” she asked.

“Always a handful,” he joked.

Luna smiled nervously. She didn’t speak, she waited for him to start the conversation.

Joaquin took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll start. I wanted to talk to you, to apologize. I was crass.” He didn’t break eye contact. “Sorry sa nangyari sa pharmacy. You were acting like a child. I didn’t think you would take it too far. Will you be honest with me?”

“I thought you wanted to apologize,” gagad niya. He couldn’t even apologize properly.

Sinapo nito ang noo nito. “Right. I’ll get to it.”

Pagak siyang natawa pero hindi na niya iyon sinundan.

“Be honest. You know I’m here for you. Always. But, do you see yourself crossing this boundary that we have?”

Mabilis siyang umiling. “I was angry, I wanted to make you mad. I want you to be mad at me so I have reason to be angry at myself. I’m childish, I’m hopeless, and I hate myself. But I only have you…” she trailed off.

Humakbang ito palapit sa kanya. Tiningala niya ito.

“You are dear to me, Luna. Let’s not make that mistake again.”

“I can’t promise that. I’m always angry. I don’t like what’s happening to my life, I can’t bear this.”

“What really happened?” masuyong tanong nito.

Nahihiyang inilayo niya ang tingin dito. “Please… I’m not telling you.”

“Gusto kitang tulungan,” anito at hindi nakatakas sa pandinig niya ang pag-aalala sa boses nito.

“Ano ba ang nangyari at umabot pa sa ganito?” Tinuro nito ang kinatatayuan nila. Ang bahay na walang kabuhay-buhay.

“Look, Mr. Blue, I am sorry, too. For the harsh words. For getting you to react like that. It’s just that… I didn’t think you’d say those words to me.” Nayakap niya ang sarili nang maalala ang palitan nila ng salita.

Huminga ito ng malalim. Nasa akto ito ng hahawakan siya sa magkabilang braso pero pinigilan nito ang sarili. “Hindi ko alam bakit gustong-gusto mong galitin ang mga taong walang ibang ginawa kundi isipin ang kapakanan mo.”

Nakita niyang tumiim ang bagang nito.

“Ako ang nakatatanda sa atin. I like to keep our relationship the way it is, with no ulterior motive. I would never lay a hand on you, least of all, try to get inside your pants. You understand what I’m saying, right, Luna?”

Hindi siya umimik.

“Our age gap is awkward enough already. I understand why people tend to look at us as we have this massive secret that we like to keep hush hush,” he laughed dryly. “But if I don’t try to be your friend, your confidante, how else can I care for you?”

She looked at him and stared at his laugh lines, his deep dark circles, the knot between his brows. His chiseled jaw was moving as if wanting to speak again but decided not to. Luna can’t think of anything to say. The thing is, she likes to get the attention of people. They would know if she’s walking down the corridor because she’d make a point for them to notice. They would know what’s new with her through talk of the mouth. They ogle at her as if she’s a celebrity, where in fact, she’s just an unfortunate kid with problematic parents that added to her confusion about how love is supposed to work.

“Dominique,” he called her as if she has the most beautiful name in the whole world.

Her heart skipped a beat.

She knows if they have a falling out, it would break her heart into thousands of pieces which can only be put back again if Joaquin would fix it himself.

She knows that he’s a good person through and through. That his intentions were pure and true. It was them, the people, who are soiling her mind into thinking that men and women are bound to have s*x at one point, but they are not having it.

If there’s one thing Luna knows, it’s that Mr. Blue will be his comfort in this aching world, his voice will soothe her pain, his presence will make her feel safe, his hug will shield her from their hate.

And it’s funny, really. She has no relation to this man. They just chanced upon each other and decided they would take care of each other as if they were really destined to do that for all their life.

He’s older. And it’s scary to think that when she’s much older he’ll be gone and there would be no Sinatra Blue to sing his blues and no one would bat an eye if she loses a friend.

“Dominique,” he called her again.

“Hmm?”

“You can tell me what happened when you’re ready,” he said.

Tumango siya. “Salamat.”

Pinilit niyang ngumiti. “Really, thank you. That means a lot.”

“But please promise me,” hirit pa nito. “Don’t make a scene again.”

Mabilis siyang tumango. “Opo. Sorry,” aniya sa maliit na boses.

“And I’m sorry, too. honestly.”

Then they stood there waiting for each other to speak again.

“How’s the music scene?” pagkumusta niya rito.

Bumuntong-hininga ito. “Not good. Kagabi ay kinausap ako ng contact ko na wala pa sa kalahati iyong fee na ipapadala sa akin, at sa katapusan pa ako babayaran imbis na kagabi. I really needed that money,” pahabol nito sa huling sinabi na halos pabulong na.

Labis na hiya ang naramdaman niya. “At inabala pa kita sa mga kailangan ko rito sa bahay.”

He shook his head. “Anything for you, Luna. You know that. I’m always happy to help.”

“If I don’t know you I’d think you have a crush on me,” she teased.

“See, that,” ani Joaquin. “Is what you have to stop doing. It’s in your nature to turn everything into something else.”

She giggled. “Why else would you be drawn to me, Joaquin,” she said.

He sighed. “Look, you gotta take me seriously, Luna. At some point, it gets old.”

She scoffed.

“I’ll stay the night. I’m tired,” anito.

Nanlaki ang mga mata niya. “Saan ka matutulog?”

“Wala ka bang banig diyan?”

“Meron naman, pero, banig lang talaga.” Kinuha niya ang banig mula sa kwarto at inilabas iyon sa sala. “Walang kutson. Sasakit ang katawan mo kinabukasan. Wala akong extra na electric fan,” aniya habang inilalatag ang banig sa sahig.

“No problem, buksan ko na lang ang bintana rito,” anito.

Naglabas din siya ng unan. “Hindi ka naman na magkukumot, ‘no? Hindi na ako maglabas?”

“Hindi na. Pwede na ‘yan. I wouldn’t impose like this but it has been an eventful day today and I’m beat I just wanna lie down and sleep it off.”

Napakagat-labi siya. “That sucks. Talk about it tomorrow?” Hindi niya man lang ito nakumusta nang tawagan at basta na lang humingi ng pabor. “Baka hindi ka makatulog ng maayos. Bukas paggising mo sasakit ang katawan mo, panigurado. You’re ancient.”

Hindi mapigilan ni Joaquin ang matawa sa narinig nito. “You!”

Natatawang lumayo siya rito at akala niya ay hahagisan siya nito ng unan.

“Go to your room. Matulog na tayo. Parehas tayong pagod. I’ll be fine,” paniniguro nito.

“Good night. Thanks again.”

“Good night. You’re always welcome.”