Erotic

A Great Day For A Walk

A Great Day For A Walk

"Hey I know you fell asleep but I'm gonna need you to wake up Axel." A distorted voice said.

It sounded so familiar and so calm that instead of calming me down, my heart spiked. I looked around and about opening my eyes as best I could. It it felt as though they were glued shut and they throbbed. I finally got some sense to my surroundings and I couldn't believe it. I looked above me to the same clothes, around to the same shoes, and to the same door that I met face to face with for everyday for however many years. There was something in my mouth and I couldn't spit it out.

I blinked and there I was in the middle of a big room now, I looked down to the blue, red, and purple stripped shirt that stopped at my thighs and the blue jeans with purple socks. I looked up and in the mirror that laid upon the wall that I looked at everyday, there was a boy, about the age of twelve, and he was beaten and bruised. There must have been about fifty or so bruises covering his body, a black eye and a busted lip. In his mouth was a pacifier that was named Hush, and his hair was messy with little pink bows that held messed up pig tails. I looked around and there he was sitting in his big black and red trimmed chair, disgusting smirk, and a hat on his head.

"My how you get so big. You look cute today Axel." He sneered. At this point I was bad at reading, writing , and even speaking in full sentences. The only things I knew how to say perfectly were "yes daddy, no daddy, yes sir, no sir, and I'm a good boy" I didn't say anything else for years. I felt the tears fall down my face as my fist clench in anger.

This is a memory...

How do I wake up? My therapist told me a great way to wake up, but can't I remember? Is it because this horrid memory is occupying my brain right now?

"Axel?"

Or is it because I know what's going to happen and I, myself is blocking anything coming in or out?

"Axel."

I saw him stand up and my body moved on it's own now. I spit the pacifier out and sat down.

"Awe, Axel!" He suddenly sat up and leaned forward with a wild look in his eyes. "I thought you'd never act out. Just obey everything I say. You've finally acted out so now I can rightfully punish you the way I want!" He sauntered over to me  and stretched. "You're in for it now. Stomping around, throwing good things on the floor. Hush was a good deal of money. You listen to me and you listen good you little fuck."

He grabbed me by the hair and pulled my head back. I yelped and closed my eyes but he grabbed my cheeks and shook my head telling me to open my eyes.

"I'll do whatever I want to you cause I can. Got it?" He sneered in my ear licking it sending cold shivers down my spine. He flung his knife out and slit my own wrist. Five times to be exact. Five cuts along my arm. There were many other marks on me but those scared me the most.

"Axel! What's going on?" A voice snapped.

I finally opened my eyes and took a deep breath in.

"I-umm.. I don't kn-know." I said looking around making sure I was still in the dorm and not in the closet. I was on the couch with Ezra next to me holding my backpack.

"You started crying. Are you okay?" He asked me sitting down.

"I am fine." I said taking a shaky breath. I quickly pulled the blankets off of my hot body and stood up. 

"I'm sure it's t-time to go, right?" I turned on my heel to my room to grab  nothing but make it seem as though I had something to get.

Once I stepped foot in my room I felt the breakdown creep up on me.

"No, no, no, no. Not now." I gripped at my hair and pulled it to distract myself. I looked around my room for anything to help me right now but there was nothing and I have maybe three minutes to get ready to go to my next class.

"Axel, it's okay bud. I understand you're going through a hard time right now. If you want you can email your teachers and let them know-,"

"No, I transferred for this not to happen. I have to get through it." I snapped. I looked down biting my finger. "I'm sorry."

Ezra smiled and nodded. "Don't worry it's okay. Why don't you take the day off?"

"I have to go to class Ezra." I said wiping my eyes drying them as best I could. "I'll be okay, I can call my therapist tonight and ask for a closer appointment time. She cancelled today due to sickness."

"Alright, well let's head on over to your class." He said stretching a bit and walking to the dorm door.

"Okay." I said running a hand through my hair while putting my hoodie up. I'm so happy that I'm college we are allowed to wear what we want when we want to, well it has to be appropriate but I am happy I can wear a hoodie.

"Once you're done, a group of my buds want to hang out at the Local BBQ, I would really enjoy if you came along." He said rubbing the back of his neck with slightly reddened cheeks.

"I'll have to-to think about it." I said dipping past him with the best smile I could muster. "I'm sure it would be a lot of fun though."

"Yeah! Hey wait for me!" Ezra dipped after me and we walked the campus to my next class.

I need my routine back, I have to get back on routine. This little stunt today, leaving class and not sitting at the bench was a mistake.

...

My next class wasn't much to talk about except it was dreadful. I was terrible at math and have never been good at it. I remember when I would try to count the days on the calendar back then, and I couldn't even get past ten or maybe eleven. I shivered at the mere thought but disregarded it.

"Hallo, Axel right?" A small almost girly ghostly voice said. I turned to see a small boy with dark blonde hair look at with bright hazel eyes. His height was probably a mere five foot? He was a short one.

"Y-yes?"

"There aren't any seats left, I was hoping I could sit here." He said looking down. I quickly moved my stuff off the desk next to me and plopped it on the floor.

"Yeah! S-sorry!" I said looking at my pencil. I saw a small smile and a simple nod.

"I am sorry, I am the one who made you move your stuff." He said simply. There was something really off about this boy, but I didn't mind because we all have our imperfections. His eyes were extremely beautiful, it reminded me of a forest in mid afternoon. His eye lashes were long and lustful, as his lips full, and a dull pink. His hands looked delicate too as well as his body and frame.

"My name is Forest, Forest Ezragard," And then it hit me, he's got an accent too! "-I didn't mean to startle you, but the teacher told me there was a seat next to Axel, so I'm assuming that's you?" He smiled.

"Yes! That-That's me." I looked down sheepishly.

"It's a lovely name, I enjoy it."

"You too." I felt the flare in my cheeks and the awkward panic sit in. I also felt the rising sheepish smile form on my lips. The same feeling when he said I was pretty or handsome. Even when he said I was "A good boy" it made me smile. He never said anything nice to me for anything except special times. It made my heart flutter each and every single time kindness was shown to me.

The rest of class went on as the teacher tried their best to teach us. I was struggling and felt defeated as every answer I got was completely wrong. I passed enough math to get into college math, but it seems as though my lack of knowledge still haunts me every so often. Like there are words that people will use everyday and I dont have a clue as to what they mean and or how to use them correctly. I spent of a lot of time trying to read and catch up on the amount of years that I missed. I still have extra classes or tutoring to help me catch up in certain areas.

"Twelve." Forest said softly. It almost seemed as if his voice was a whisper and I had to quiet my mind in order to hear him. "You stopped before solving it and I felt you needed help. If thats not the case I can mind my own." He said turning back to his work gracefully. I sat there confused but looked down and realized he was right, we had moved on to another question and I stopped on the this question.

"No, I-I was confused on how we got that answer was all." I said looking at my paper and the small scribbles that littered the corners.

"Its not an easy one Ill admit, but with math at least there is always an answer." He smiled to me. I nodded and looked down. "You have to multiply instead of divide there even though the sign says to divide, the teacher messed up and I am one hundred percent positive this way is correct. Ill say something later after class but you have to divide here, because getting a decimal point for an equation with even numbers is, possible but unlikely." His voice was so smooth, it rolled of his tongue as if English were his first language even though I can tell it wasn't.

"Where are you from?"

"France, But a very unknown part of France, its not even worth talking about." He chuckled. "Et toi?" He said turning his head just the slightest to listen to my answer. The way the words rolled off his tongue interest me a lot more than I thought it would. I felt childish wanting to listen to him talk more and more.

"At what?" I said after a second realizing I was zoning out again. His cheeks reddened and he put his hand to his lips covering them a bit.

"I find it hard to remember to speak English some times. I asked and you?"

"Oh! I am from... Here. I don't think anywhere really special." I said back rubbing my arm a little. I honestly didn't even know where I was from. I know where I live because of my mom and dad, but other than that... I had no idea of any other background in my family. I didn't even know the rest of my family if I'm honest. They never came to the welcome home Party thrown at my house a week after I was home.

"It must be nice living here, no?"

"Living here?" I asked him. He nodded while still writing down some answers. "I guess you could say once you start your own way of living, its pretty great."

"I see. I just moved here and have been looking for things to do in my spare time. I haven't found many activities yet." His bottom lip puffed out a bit as he looked a little saddened by the fact that he hasn't found anything to do around here. I just came here myself so I couldn't help him there. But his lip was almost like a pout. He was pouting a bit. My mind began to fuzz as i thought about the word pout and the meaning and memories that I have attached to it. But I quickly ran my brain through other things such as what I am making for dinner tonight or if I am going to read or simply watch a movie.

This kid, Forest was so sweet and so gentle I felt almost rude talking to him. He seemed like such a nice person and I felt like I was really unprepared for it. I felt very harsh compared to him. I felt as though I needed to calm my voice back in order to be on the same level as him. Otherwise my harshness would scare him away. Like a rock being thrown into undisturbed water.

"The bell is going to ring in a few minutes, have you a second to tell me where this class is on my schedule?" He pulled out a small piece of paper and handed it to me. His hand avoided mine and I didn't mind it too much really. I took it and saw such beautiful hand writing and I checked his paper that matched.

"I believe th-this class is just across the yard. All you'll have to do is walk straight across. I have that class later in the day."

"Merci, I really appreciate it." He said kind of misspeaking  the word. I smiled at it cause I thought it was kind of funny. If he had only learned English a few months or even a few years ago he is doing great and Ill admit some words in my own language are pretty tough.

"Au revoir, Axel. I will see you next class session. Thank you for letting me sit here." He said smiling at me. His teeth wasn't showing but his hair shifted to the left as he tilted his head. I was mesmerized by the fact that he was so graceful about everything he did. He was so quiet and so small. Small? Or fragile? fragile seemed like the better word. He was so small and tiny in his own way and I felt like I had to be nicer to him other wise I would make him cry if that makes sense. Its a new perspective. I did however really enjoy the fact that he didnt know me from my prior case and what had happened for all of those years. I felt so refreshed that it left a smile on my face.

For the next couple hours I had a smile and my mind did wander through different topics while in class. The teacher even pulled me aside to talk to me and ask if I was okay because I spaced. I was fine of course and it felt good to say that. I am okay. What a missed sentence.

...

After my last class I headed back to my room to meet my dorm mate and already know he's going to ask me to go to the party. Was I really going to go? It makes me nervous to even think about if I were to go. Would he stay with me? Or dunk me onto other people to make me more social?

"Hey! You're Axel!" A voice said from afar. I didn't lift my head in-fact I walked a little faster.

"Hey! Kid stop!" Another voice said.

I hurried along hoping they wouldn't run after me. I looked around quickly for the bench I usually sit at but I was in the wrong area.

Class, I can go to class.

"Hey! Please stop! We just want to talk." A girls voice rang out. Suddenly my body froze and my teared up.

No, I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk!

"Hey! Sorry you gave me a run for my money. You're Axel right? Sorry to be so informal but I work with the newspaper for the school, or journalists squad. I'm Joan, Joan Bizzate. I had a question for you today."

I kept my head down and shook my head going to take a step. But my arm was grabbed and I was turned around.

"Hey, when a lady talks to you, you look at her and give her the same respect." A taller boy said. He looked like he could fit the football player look. Buzz cut hair and decent sized arms.

When a lady talks to me, I give her the same respect? I've never heard of that. I don't know what that means? Give her the same respect? I know what all the words mean, but giving her something she didn't ask for?

"Hey? Are you okay?" She asked me brushing his hand away from me. I looked at him with wide eyes and looked back to her. My default set in, what my therapist told me to find a new default, reset. I stood there with my feet together and hands in my lap. I kept my eyes on her and her alone. I kept my mouth shut and held back the raging tears that threaten so harshly to fall.

"Y-yes?"

"I asked if you were okay." She said with a smile. Her green eyes simply matched her red hair and wide smile. Her brown dress came to her knees and her converse black and white. She was pretty put together above me regardless.

"I'm-I'm fine." I said quietly. She nodded and pulled from her purse a notebook and pencil.

"Can I ask you a few questions about you?"

My heart started to pound. How can I get out of this?

"I'd rather n-not." I said looking down. She took a step towards me and put her hands on her hip. 

"Awe come on, a few questions won't hurt! I don't bite! Your case is wildly known! You've been missing for more than like ten years or more! You've got to have a wild story to tell and share with the world! Give advice?"

Advice... I have to give advice. I think I know that word.

"I'd rather not." I said again quietly. I bit my lip and my brain felt all sorts of wacky.

"Come on! If I catch your story, it'll be news for everyone! The details from your case that was public was crazy! It's amazing that you survived someone who kept you in a closet and all tied up only feeding you once a day!"

I looked at her with pain filling my chest. The memories flooding back in full. She doesn't know how horrible it is to remember all these things? How humiliating it is to be reminded of everything that was done.

"I don't w-want to talk a-about it." This time the tears fell and I didn't even have the motivation to go to my next class. Being reminded of my past was something that occurred often in every aspect of my life. I don't know how to escape it or run away.