Astrid Larein

Astrid Larein Santos I could kill someone right now.  Killing someone will just be a piece of cake. Papatayin mo lang sila, clean the body, don’t leave any marks and indication na ikaw ang pumatay, and then get on with you life. It is as easy as that. I can do that now, kung hindi ko lang pinsan ang pinagpaplanuhan ko ng kamatayan. She is waking up this desire again and again, she never learned her lesson. Siguro oras na para isagawa ang plan na ‘yon. I glare at the person who's making a scene in the middle of the night. My very own cousin, Jane Marie Rodriguez. Hawak niya ang phone niya at titig na titig siya rito na animo'y hindi makapaniwala sa nakikita. I didn’t need to look at the clock to see what time is it, alam kong around quarter to five na. Jane usually wakes up ng ganitong oras because she is always the early bird. Ang ayaw ko lang ay yung isasama niya ako sa paggising niya. Like what she was doing now. “Cous, sorry. Nagising ba kita? Sorry. Sorry.” nagpadaumpalad pa siya sa harap ko. “Si Kevin kasi nagpost pala ng story kagabi hindi ko nakita,” Jane said apologetically. “Ito, oh. Look!” she showed me her phone as if naman may paki-alam ako. “He was with a girl, she looked sexy, she’s pretty, tapos may malaki siyang boobs.” Jane keeps on rambling on habang nakatitig pa rin ako sa kan’ya ng masama. I don’t know if she was just oblivious or hindi niya lang talaga ako pinapansin. “Tapos sabi pa dito, look cous, nakalagay dito na dating sila. Paano na ako? Anong gagawin ko?” dagdag pa niya. “Jane Marie,” I called her name softly enough para marinig niya. “You woke me up in the middle of the dawn just to announce that Kenji was dating some girl.” Jane shakes her head. “Kevin. Not Kenji.” I don’t care if I will be put in jail, but I’m going to kill my cousin. Right here, right now. She just ruined my sleep and she had the guts to correct me. I’m truly really killing her, along with this Kaden guy. “Sorry na, cous. Hindi ko naman sinasadyang magulat kita. I was just surprise kasi iyon agad ang bumungad sa feed ko.” Jane pouted in front of me. Hinawakan pa niya ang kamay ko, dagdag effect sa pagpapa-cute niya. Saka ko na lang siya papatayin kapag hindi na siya mukhang cute sa paningin ko at kapag tulog siya. Hindi muna ngayon. “Let me sleep. And don’t,” I pointed my finger at her, “f*****g scream again. You’ll wake up the whole neighborhood.” “Yes, yes! I promise.” Itinaas ni Jane and kanan niyang kamay to show me her promise. “I will not disturb you again,” she added. Tinitigan ko yung phone na hawak niya. I contemplated if I should confiscate it since ‘yon naman ang source ng lahat. But if I did that, baka mas lalo akong hindi patulugin nitong babaitang ‘to. I need my sleep, and I need it complete. Jane smiled at me one last time bago ko siya tinalikuran at nagkumot. I made sure that I was tucked in inside my blanket to muffle any sound the manggagaling sa kanya. Until sleep pulled me in and darkness. … I woke up to a loud sound again, this time it was coming from a blaring alarm. Itinapon ko ang kumot ko at paadabog na tumayo. The sound was coming from Jane’s phone. At ang may-aari ng phone, ayun tulog at naglalaway. She fell asleep again. I don’t know what’s the point of waking up at four or five in the morning only to fall asleep a few minutes after. And then set up an alarm na hindi mo rin naman gigisnan dahil malalim ang tulog mo. “I hope may isang tao na mag-point sa’yo ng mali mo, Jane. I’m too tired to do it,” I whisper to myself. My head was throbbing. Hindi ko gusto na sumasakit siya ngayon this early in the morning. Kaya ayaw na ayaw kong napuputol ang tulog ko because of this. I’m suffering dahil lang kay Jane. And she’s going to pay me back for that. Bumalik ako sa tabi niya, humiga at itinaas ang paa, and then aim. Sinipa ko paalis ng kama si Jane. And because she was stuffed inside the blanket, hindi naging malakas at masakit and pagbagsak niya. “Oh my gosh!” Pero hindi noon mapigilan ang malakas nitong pagisgaw. Jane stood up from the ground with a messy hair. Nakabalot pa rin sa kanya ang kumot at mukhang nasa loob nito ang phone niya. “Cous, wala namang sipaan,” reklamo niya as she looks for her noisy phone. “Turn that off. It’s making my head hurt more.” Hindi pa niya agad nahanap ang phone kaya continuous lang ang ingay na ginagawa nito. If I were to guess, I bet she had already woken up the whole neighborhood. That’s how noisy her alarm was. I stood up from the bed at iniwan siyang nagpupumilit kumawala sa kumot. I didn’t bother to help her since it was her fault in the first place. Jane can handle herself, malaki na siya. Pumasok ako sa bathroom para maligo. It was already eight in the morning and classes starts at ten. Malapit naman ang school kaya hindi naman kailangang magmadali. But knowing Jane, she might take up too much time in preparing herself. After showering, lumabas ako to find her gone sa room ko. Jane had her own room, katapat ng sa akin. She loves to sleep with me kaya magkatabi kami kagabi but she still had her room. Because I still want my privacy and so does, she. Bumaba ako agad after changing into my uniform. “Good morning, little sister!” Nakakairitang boses agad ang bumungad sakin as soon as I entered the dining room. Spence was sitting sa kabisera at nagsasandok ng kanin. Nanay Mila was setting the pancakes sa gilid niya. I looked around the table as I sat beside my brother. “Saan si Jane?” tanong niya. I shrugged. “As usual. Late.” Spence Lauren Santos, my older brother. He was our acting guardian since nasa France ang parents namin because of business. He’s just already twenty-three years old pero kung umasta ay dinaig pa ang thirty years old. Masyado ata siyang excited tumanda. “What happened earlier? May narinig akong sumigaw.” Spence asked as soon as he put a spoonful of food in his mouth. An old man with childish behavior. “Ako ‘yon, Kuya. Sorry. Nagising ba kita?” Dumating si Jane at umupo sa harap ko, sa kaliwa ni Spence. Hinainan na rin niya ang sarili niya ng pagkain. Small portion of rice and a piece of hotdog. I roll my eyes. “Medyo. Pero hindi ko sure yung mga kapitbahay. Parang may narinig akong sirena kanina.” Obvious na joke ‘yon pero dahil madaling magpapaniwala si Jane, naniwala siya. She looked at Spence with wide eye and her mouth was agape. Hindi naman nakatiis ang kapatid ko at humalakhak ng todo, with some rice falling out of his mouth. Yuck! “Hala! Hindi nga kuya? Did someone call for the cops? Hindi naman ata ganoon kalakas ang sigaw ko. Si Astrid lang naman ata nagising ko,” Jane is rambling. Spence was holding her stomach na paniguradong sumasakit dahil sa lakas ng tawa niya. “No, I was just joking. Ikaw talaga ang bilis mong maniwala.” “Kuya naman eh!” Pinilit ni Spence na huminto kakatawa at iniayos ang sarili. All the while, I was just eating my breakfast since malapit ng mag nine thirty. Ganoon katagal kumilos si Jane. And then she’s also having the luxury na makipagdaldalan kay Spence. “Ano ba kasing nangyari?” Tanong ulit ni Spence, it was my indication na hahaba pa lalo ang usapan nila. So, I cut them off. “She saw the boy in her fantasy having a date with a sexy girl.” “You should talk more in tagalog, little sis. Mas bagay sayo. Alam mo ba ang ganda mo pakinggan kapa ganoon?” That earned a glare from me. Alam na alam ni Spence kung ano ang mga bagay na kinaiinisan ko. Siya at nag pagiging paki-alamero niya. He’s just my brother and he doesn’t have the say about what I do with my life. At ‘yon ang ginagawa naman niya. Nanghihimasok. “If there’s nothing else. I’ll take my leave first.” The chair scraped the floor when I pushed it with the back of my knees. I stood up at aalis na. Hindi ko na kayang makita ang mapang-asar na mukha ni Spence. Dahil alam na alam niya kung ano ang kinaiinisan ko. I’m already pissed as it is. “Wait, cous. Sasabay ako!” tawag sa akin ni Jane saka isinubo ng buo sa bunganga niya ang hotdog. It was most unladylike action I have ever seen. “Astrid, tagalog. And wait for you cousin nasa paayusana ng car ko,” Spence sternly said. I roll my eyes at him. If I know tinatamad lang siyang ipag-drive and favorite cousin niya sa school at natutuwa siyang asarin ako. I look at Jane na busy pa rin sa pag-stuff ng food as bunganga niya. Hindi ko malaman kung paano niya nagagawa ‘yon. “I’ll be leaving you if you will be this slow, Jane. Tara na.” And then I turned around. Napagbigyan ko na si Spence and Jane was already taking too much time. Agad akong lumabas ng bahay without looking back. Jane can ride with me if maabutan niya ako. I will not wait for her.