Nothing's Guaranteed

Chapter 3

I thought that things like this get better with time, but I still need you

Why is that?

You're the only image in my mind

So I still see you around

I miss you, like everyday

Wanna be with you, but you're away

Said I miss you, missing you insane

But if I got with you, could it feel the same?

-Beyoncé

~~Sydney~~

Beep Beep. Beep Beep. Beep Beep.

I grumpily lean over and smack the button to turn off my alarm. The sun is forcing her way into the crevices of my blinds alerting me that it is in fact morning. The morning of my first day at my new school and I am dreading every single minute of it. I always remember Chi-Town high being around as I grew up in the neighborhood. Although Chi-Town was supposed to be my home school, but my parents sent me to a school that was across town, closer to my mom's job. Public schools were never really their thing, but I honestly never hung out with any of the kids at my private schools either. There were always some exceptions, but for the most part everyone and everything seemed so staged and predictable. If you were not coming from a background with money then you might as well have not existed at all. And if you really wanted to become oblivious, avoid drinking and partaking in drugs at all cost. Anyone not willing to fall victim to their addictions were considered “lame”. Now I have had a drink or two, but I have never been drunk. Maybe I should put that on my senior year bucket list.

"Sydney Serenity Williams it is time for you to get out of that bed and get ready for your first day of school!" Chasity yells this from the kitchen acting as my second alarm clock. As if the sun and my actual clock were not enough. I roll my eyes at her as I listen to her heavy footsteps march down the hall. I smirk at the way she called my whole name how mom used to do. Before obeying her orders I close my eyes and imagine my mother’s voice in place of Chasity’s. I imagine her opening the door and popping her head around the corner. Some miscellaneous object makes its way onto my bed. Something she most definitely tried to hit me with. Then I would groan and pull the covers over my head causing my mom to threaten to come back with a bucket of water if I was still in the same spot five minutes later.

We learned early to never take my mom's threats lightly. Chasity and I shared the same bedroom for most of our childhood, and the same bed for the first half. One morning Chasity and I decided to test the bucket of water threat and ended up soaked by minute six from a laughing mom with the bucket and our dad with a camera.

My eyes pop open and the sound of Chasity calling China’s name brings me back to reality. I groan as I reluctantly hop out of bed and head into the bathroom across the hall. After using the bathroom, I go ahead and turn the shower water on so that it can start warming up while I go pick out a towel and face cloth from the hall closet. When I re-enter the bathroom the steam is starting to build up and I prepare myself to step in.

The water is scalding hot how I like it, and the heat begins to sting my skin as I ease in. There are times I like to pretend these piping hot showers are burning away all the pain I have witnessed from before. My sorrows from my parents’ deaths, the move here, having to leave my grandma behind, Chasity never being around… I do realize I have numerous open wounds. Knowing I can not remain in the shower forever, I finish up, turn the water off, and begin to dry off. I make sure no water will drip onto the floor as I step out of the shower and pause to look at my hair in the mirror while I try to imagine an outfit.

I walk back into my room and close the door behind me. I spent ALL last night hanging up my clothes and placing clothes in my drawers. Man, sometimes I think that I just have too many clothes. Until someone takes me to a mall and I see a million other things I feel would fit into my closet. People would not be able to tell in this past year or so, but I think I need to start back with dressing how I used to. Lately I have been wearing my emotions in my wardrobe. Dark, unappealing outfits that let the world know I do not give a care about what I look like, or who sees. I walk over to my closet and open both doors. It is not a walk-in like my old ones, but any closet is better than no closet.

Although I am trying to snap back into my old dress habits, I believe everything should come in baby steps. I pull out a simple black tube dress and a pair of all black vans. Simple, but not completely effortless. When I go to grab some hair products off of my dresser I notice the necklace my parents bought me when I was sixteen. I quickly take the diamond studded S and lock it around my neck. Since they passed, wearing this necklace always makes me feel closer to them. In the past month I have found myself wearing their gift a lot lately, but I have also been reminiscing on when they were still alive more as well.

When I walk back into the bathroom I smile at how the necklace looks fixed around my neck. I touch it softly before I turn my attention to my hair. I put my playlist on my phone on shuffle and start to slowly bob my head to Chance the Rapper’s “Juke Jam”. A simple puff should work for today. As I said before baby steps. Even though I am dreading living here and going to this school I am still low key excited for my first day. Once I moved in with my grandma in Florida I never imagined I would be back in Chicago, but the thought of surrounding myself with new people gives me comfort. I might not try to make too many friends, but just one possible best friend would be nice.

"Well, don't you look gorgeous. You ready for the first day?" Chasity compliments me as I walk into the kitchen.

"Thanks. Yea. I am kind of looking forward to it but also dreading being the ‘new girl’."

"Yea, that is normal. I think you'll enjoy it better than private school though. You hungry?"

“Not really. I’ll grab something light to go.” I pick up a banana from the middle of the table and grab my purse off the couch. My phone is sitting where I left it in the bathroom and I slide it in the side of my purse. I do an eye scan of my room to make sure there is nothing in there I need and spot my silver hoop earrings by the bed. An essential accessory. I grab them and walk back out towards the door. China and Chasity sing a goodbye to me and I return one before leaving. The bus stop is nowhere from Chasity’s apartment and within five minutes I am approaching the bench. When I reach the sign another girl is kind of floating around the bench talking on her phone. She acknowledges me and I smile back then sit down on the side of the bench farthest away from her. The sun is beaming down on our heads and I feel beads of sweat slowly wanting to break free. Maybe I can distract myself from the sun with some music.

While I am digging in my purse I feel another body plop down on the bench. The only other girl out here with me is now off her phone. I keep my gaze down at my phone trying to find the right song.

"So you new around here?" Her voice catches me by surprise and I jump a little.

"Oh nah, I am actually moving back. This is my hometown. I am new to the school though. You a senior too?"

"And proud to be one!" She gives me a huge smile and walks over to shake my hand. "I'm Andie, how about you?"

"Sydney, but you can call me Syd." I reach out and shake her hand back. Without hesitation Andie makes herself comfortable beside me on the bench and I am taken aback by how her abrupt friendliness does not make me uncomfortable. Instantly, I notice how pretty she is. Gorgeous even. She is light skinned with freckles and long reddish-brown hair. Her naturally red hair stands out as much as her personality.

"Well Syd, it's nice to meet you. I like you. Something about your vibe just makes me want to befriend you. I swear I am not always this weird, but I hope you are open to making a new girl best friend." She smiles sweetly at me and watches waiting for my response. If any other person had have come to me and said something so cliche and weird I would have laughed in their face. Andie, on the other hand, made me feel compelled to say nothing other than 'yes’. Her energy and openness is something I have not been around in a while and something in the back of my mind is telling me that this is the first step in beginning my fresh start. Spontaneity.

With Andie time seemed to just fly by. She never ran out of things to talk about and it did not matter whether you fed into the conversation or not. I am starting to enjoy Andie’s company so I try to feed back into the conversation as much as possible. Talking to Andie did make me realize how much of a bore I had made of my life since my parents passed. They were my life and a big part of my enjoyment in life. Without them my ability to still experience new things kind of died with them. And I feel like I sound dramatic, but my parents really were my best friends.

Before long others start to crowd the bus stop and my eyes kind of scan the crowd trying to see if I recognize any face, although I doubt I will.

Just when I think Andie could talk forever we are interrupted by a tall light skinned guy. Andie smiles when he walks around in front of her and stands up on the bench to match his height forgetting she was even in mid sentence. "Syd, this is my boyfriend Darnell, Darnell, this is the new girl Sydney. She is going to be my new best friend."

"Nice to meet you. Good luck running around with this one. And don’t let her get you into too much trouble." She rolls her eyes and he laughs.

"Oh, Andie doesn't seem like the trouble type." I motion towards her and she nods her head in agreement.

"Syd, don’t listen to him. I am always good."

“Mhm.” He pokes his lips out at her and she gives him a kiss automatically. Like clockwork. “I will see you on the bus, gorgeous. Nice to meet you, Sydney.” I nod to him as he disappears into the small crowd.

"You guys are so adorable. How long have you been with him?" A smile has permanently attached itself to her face even after he has left. I love what is happening here.

"It will be six months tomorrow. I have known him since we were in the sixth grade. You know, he has liked me since our freshman year of high school but never told me until last year. Can you believe that?"

“Wow, something like a movie. That is so cute.” I see her start to blush but she shakes it away and looks back at me.

"So you got a boo?"

"No. No one is really interested and vice versa. I think I'll just hang solo for a while. Being single is the best choice for me I believe."

"Oh that will change, trust me." Right when I am about to ask what she means by that the bus finally arrives and everybody is fighting to be the first one on. Andie grabs my hand and pulls me under the crowd until we are close to the front. "Back seats are always the best girl!" We push our way onto the bus and sit down across from each other. Her boyfriend soon sits beside her and they start to giggle about only Lord knows what. I pull my book out of my backpack and begin to read again. No lie, I am getting comfortable until the bus stops and it is time to get off. I follow Andie off and then once we are in front of the building I just walk off. I don't want to seem like some lost puppy trailing her and her boyfriend around. That is pathetic. Plus, I hate third wheeling.

Apparently we all have homeroom just to get our schedules then we face school ourselves. I look on the roster for my class and after some minutes I finally find my name on the piece of paper. Now I have to find the class. Since it starts with a three, I make the trip all the way up to the third floor. I finally find the class and when I go in there are a few kids whispering and talking to each other. Eyeing a seat in the back I sit in it and start to read my book again.

"Child, what are you reading?" I look up to see Andie settling down beside me. Darnell and another guy sit in front of us.

"You wouldn't be interested." I flip it over and sit up to talk to her.

"Aye Dominic, this is my new friend Sydney. Sydney this is Darnell's best friend Dominic." He turns around and I catch my breath a little. I recognize him as the same guy I bumped into out in the hallway in our building. Seeing him now confirms my thoughts about him being good looking and I notice how built he is for the first time. I feel myself trapped in his gaze and the few seconds that pass feel like minutes before one of us finally speaks.

"Oh wow. You're the girl from the hallway. I'm sorry again about bumping into you, my head wasn't in the right place that day." His voice is more silky and smooth now. Unlike in the hallway when he barked an apology. He gives me a nervous smile and I unconsciously focus on his lips.

"Hey. It's okay, really." I feel butterflies start to form in my stomach and I can't help the smile I give him. His smile becomes more confident after my reply and I see his body relax as he takes me in one more time before he turns around in his seat again.

I turn to talk to Andie and she is looking at me with a grin stretching from one ear to the other. Before I can ask what she is smiling about our homeroom teacher walks in, starts talking about stuff I don't care about, and then starts passing out schedules. I have all classes except for two with Andie. Those are Art and my free period. That sucks...

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~~Dominic~~

I grab me a bag of chips, and soda, and after paying I walk over to where the guys are sitting. They chose somewhere at the back where the table is close to the wall. I am surprised Mitchell did not force them to sit somewhere in the middle. I pop a squat in between Darnell and Mitchell.

"Sooo, anyone seen the fine ass new girl Andie has been dragging around?!" Danny is looking at us waiting for an answer. I think he takes it as his job to scope out every fine girl that walks the hallways of our school.

"I met her, I guess she looks straight." Ever since Darnell has gotten with Andie he tries to not talk about any girls that are not famous with us anymore. Mitchell blows at him and rolls his eyes.

"Yea yea, whatever faithful man! I was talking to my other two single brothers at this table anyways! Dominic, what you think?" She is super fine, super fly, and hell she could get it any time of the day, but I am not about to talk about her like that with these two boneheads.

"She's cute, no need to elaborate."

"And why not?" Mitchell was looking at me bug-eyed and crazy. He probably finds it weird that I am not all over her or whatever, but I don't think she would like that anyways. She does not seem up to my speed. I look up and I spot Andie walk in with the Sydney girl, and Andie keeps looking until she finds us.

"Because she's on the way over here with Andie right now." They both turn their heads to find Andie and Darnell and I continue eating like nothing is really going on. "Ayye, your girl is coming." I elbow Darnell and he turns to face her as she walks up. She sits on his lap and gives him a kiss, or five. They just got together last year. It's about time too! This guy has been feeling her since the 8th grade. Took him forever to wife her. Her friend, Sydney, sits across from us on the side of the table that is against the wall and leans her back up against it. She starts searching for something in her bag. I hardly notice that I am watching her until a familiar voice breaks my attention.

"Now I KNOW this little girl is not going to just sit there and act like she does not know who I am!" We all look up and see Kyle walking to our table. Who is he talking to? Kyle is crazy and knows EVERYBODY in this school. From the lames, to the freaks, to the most popular. He plays soccer, basketball, and runs track. One of the best friends a guy could have, but we are not super close. We are cool though and every now and then he kicks it with us. That is more of Mitchell's friend, and if he ever really hangs with us it is because Mitchell brings him around. He gets stopped a few times before he makes it to our table. "Sydney Serenity Williams I know you hear me talking to you!" Damn he knows her first, middle, and last name. I can't help but be intrigued as he quickly approaches our table.

We look over at her and she just smiles, I realize that she has a book out now and she keeps pretending like she is reading, but she can not hide that smile. "Why you have to throw my whole name out like that Kyle?" She does not look up at him, but just keeps pretending like she is reading. I thought they only talked once, and that was that time I saw them at the pier. Apparently they have been hanging out more frequently.

"Omg, your middle name is Serenity?! Your parents are the best parents in the world! My middle name some boring s**t; it's Skylar." Andie says this looking at Sydney with awe. I laugh and shake my head.

"Eh, my middle name is alright. I don't see it as anything special. Oh and hi Kyle, happy now?" He steps back and holds his chest like he is hurt.

"See you trying to act tough in front of your little friends, but it's whatever! Don't say hey when you step foot on my front porch b***h!"

"Alright ugly, be like that then!" He walks over and gives her a hug anyways. She hugs him back and then Kyle is gone to talk to whoever, wherever. Now she is back to reading like nothing happened. She is one of the most nonchalant ass girls I have ever met. Although I would never admit it to Danny, or anyone else at the table, she peaks my interest. She makes me want to know more about her and what brings her to our school right at the final year.

"So Sydney why did you move here?" Danny is watching her waiting for a reply. Without looking up she says, "Just family s**t, nothing too exciting." She sets her book down but keeps her page marked like she can't wait to stop answering questions so she can get back to reading.

"Chicago is her hometown, but she has moved back for personal reasons." Andie elaborates and Syd giver her a small nod before returning back to reading.

"Well who are you living with?" Danny is still trying to talk to her when it is clear she does not feel like talking.

This time she lays her book down and looks at him. "My sister and my little cousin. I used to live in Florida with my grandma, but I had to move here."

"Dang, you lived in Florida? Oh, that's live! How was that?" Mitchell has always wanted to go to Florida, but has not had the chance yet.

"Hot, but beautiful. Beaches everywhere, fine ass guys, and beach houses are amazing. I miss it to tell you the truth. Florida teens know how to throw bomb parties; I didn't go to all of them but I went to a few and it was so amazing." Sounds about right.

"Dang, that sounds amazing. My next vacation really does need to be in Florida." Mitchell is smiling from ear to ear at her information. Danny too. I think Danny is just smiling at her. That man has a crush on her already, and we barely even know this girl. Typical Danny though.

"So, what is the one thing you will miss the most out of it all?"

"The sunsets. Best view in the world. There is nothing like a Florida sunset. I know it is a small and weird thing to miss, but you gotta enjoy the little things right?" With that final rhetorical question as an answer she lays back with her book again. Apparently, she is done talking. I just watch her closely. Something is definitely up with her.

"Yo Andie, where did you find her?" Danny is watching her, even though she isn't doing anything.

"At the bus stop this morning. Interesting girl isn't she? She's my new best friend." Andie smiles at us before she focuses all of her attention on Darnell. Andie has never really got along with many girls. A lot of times we would joke with her that she was too pretty and that's why girls could not be around her. The fact she has automatically chosen Sydney as her best friend makes me even more intrigued

"Yea, very." Danny's response makes me look at him. I don't like the way he is looking at her, well I mean it is not a bad look. Just a look of maybe want, admiration, new crush sort of thing? Can't say that I blame him, because she is very interesting and she is different.

I realize I am staring at her when she looks up from her book and starts staring back at me. I quickly look away from her questioning gaze. I have got to stop doing that around her.