WIFE SERIES : Silent Scars [Tagalog]

Chapter 18

"Don't you dare, Nicholai!" I said with gritted teeth.

I was trying my best to stay calm, but inside, I was so scared and nervous. Nicholai and I never slept after the accident. And I didn't want to sleep with him knowing that he might have slept with someone else.

"You are my wife. It is your duty to make love to me!" pagdidiin pa niya.

"Make love? We don't love each other to do the act, Nicholai!"

"Okay! Then let me f**k you then!"

Mabilis pa sa alas-kwatro na tinulak niya ako pahiga sa kama at pumaimbabaw sa akin. Kinuha niya ang dalawa kamay ko at mahigpit na hinawakan sa taas ng aking ulo.

I was squealing underneath him, trying to get out of his hold, but to no avail. Malaki si Nicholai at mas malakas kaysa sa akin.

My eyes widened when he suddenly ripped my nightdress, revealing my chest. I tried kicking him, but he suddenly punched my abdomen. I whimpered from the pain. Nanghina ako sa sakit ng pagkakasuntok niya sa akin. And right there, I cried as Nicholai forced himself to me.

He was a devil. And I hated him even more.

Kagat ang ibabang labi at tumutulo ang luha sa aking mga mata habang paulit-ulit niya akong inaangkin sa parang gusto niya. I was looking at the ceiling the whole time, like a corpse, as he assaulted me.

***

I woke up the next day feeling tired and empty. Wala na si Nicholai sa loob ng kwarto. I bet he already went to work as if nothing happened.

I dragged myself to the bathroom and looked at myself in the full-length mirror. Wala akong kahit na anong saplot kaya kitang-kita ko ang mga pasa sa iba't-ibang bahagi ng aking katawan.

Biglang tumulo na naman ang luha ko habang naalala ang kababuyang ginawa sa akin ni Nicholai.

How could he do that to me? Napakawalang puso niya!

I cried my heart out in the shower.

"I'm so done. Wala nang pag-asa pang magbago si Nicholai."

I decided that I wanted everything to stop. Tama nga talaga si Cheni. Dapat matagal ko nang iwan si Nicholai. Gagawin ko na ang matagal ng sinasabi ni Cheni. I will file an annulment. Ito lang ang tanging paraan para makawala ako sa kinasasadlakan ko ngayon. Ayoko nang magdusa pa sa piling ni Nicholai. I had enough of his bullshit!

***

After I showered, I decided to call Cheni to ask for help. Alam kong siya lang ang makakatulong sa akin.

Her number rang twice before she answered the call.

"C-Cheni," garagal na boses na sabi ko.

[Hey? Is there something wrong? May nangyari na naman ba?] I could hear the concern in her voice. Well, she was always concerned with me and my relationship with Nicholai.

"Pwede ba tayong magkita?"

[Huh? Bakit? Akala ko ba bawal kang umalis ng bahay niyo?] naguguluhang sagot niya.

"Tatakas ako. I want to tell you something. It's really important. I want to tell it to you personally, " mabilis na sagot ko.

[Okay. But I can't today. I'm in Singapore for a convention. I will be here for a week. Can you wait for me?]

Nanlumo ako sa narinig.

"Sure. I can wait. Don't worry," sabi ko na lang kahit na medyo nalulungkot ako at matatagalan pa bago ko siya makausap ng personal

[Did something happen again?] galit na litanya nito.

"Yes. I will tell you everything when you come back," sagot ko sa kaniya. I heard her sigh on the other line.

[I told you. Dapat matagal mo nang iniwan ang gagong Nicholai na yan. File an annulment. I will help you.]

"I will consider that after we talk. I took a picture of my bruises, Cheni. Is it okay if I send it to you? I will use it as a proof."

[Tangna! May pasa ka na naman? Fine! Send me the pictures and delete it on your phone. Baka makita pa ni Nicholai at malaman niya ang binabalak mo. Mag-lie-low ka muna. Stay in your house and be good for a week. Magkita tayo after a week. Kapag nakabalik na ako.]

"Okay. I will do everything that you said. Salamat talaga ng marami, Cheni. What am I going to do without you?"

[You know that you can always count on me. Kailan ko nang ibaba ang tawag. May meeting ako. Send me the pictures and don't forget to delete it. Be careful.] sabi nito bago binaba ang tawag.

I sighed and sat down on my bed. I was so thankful that Cheni was always there for me. Matagal na siguro akong nabaliw kung hindi dahil sa kaniya. Sa kaniya ko lang naman sinasabi lahat ng problema ko. And I didn't regret telling her everything that I had been through. She was always the right person to share my problems with.

I send her my pictures with bruises. Binura ko din agad ito after ma-send sa kaniya.

***

Sa ilang araw na lumipas, nagkululong lang ako sa kwarto ko. Inutusan ko si manang Linda na ipadala ang pagkain ko tuwing kainan na.

I tried to avoid Nicholai as much as possible. I just didn't want to see him after what he had done to me.

I was glad that he didn't even bother to check on me or forced me to go out and eat with him.

Siguro okay lang sa kaniya basta ba at nasa bahay lang ako. He always came home late and went out early in the morning. And I didn't mind at all. Mas nagpapasalamat nga ako kasi di ko talaga siya naabutan kapag minsan gusto kong lumabas ng kwarto.

But Manang Linda always told me that Nicholai was always drunk whenever he got home. Minsan nakita din niyang nagdala na naman ito ng bagong babae at pinasok sa kwarto nito. I was thankful that I was using another room and it was far from his own room.

A week had already passed. Cheni texted me that she wanted to meet me at Dreame Café. I was pacing back and forth inside my room while looking at the time. Hinihintay kong mag-alas-otso.

When the clock struck eight, I went down from my room. Alam kong nakaalis na si Nicholai papunta sa trabaho niya.

My heart was beating so fast. I was nervous. But I needed to do this. I needed to do this and safe myself from misery.