What If

It saddens me to see him in this state. Is it my fault that I adore him so much? I tried everything I could to grab his attention, but now I just wish I hadn't made him fall for me. But did he actually fall in love with me? It appears that he did not. It feels like I'm just passing time for him to forget about the lady he truly loves. "TJ, please, it's enough. You have been drinking a lot of alcohol ever since. Please stop." I tried to get the bottle but he just threw my hands away. "Enough? All of these things still do not make me numb to what I feel right now. Tell me, Michaela, how can I stop the pain that is still here and it really hurts because those past days, months and years, I thought she was okay doing fine with her life, but no she was suffering and I was not there for her. All I care about is my hatred for her, because all I know is that she betrayed me." It's the second time that I saw him, like this crying, and what hurt most is that he cried for that woman again, but right now it's different. It feels like I exist for this to comfort him, but I think I deserve it. " Please stop TJ, it's not your fault..." wiping his tears, comforting him was one of my biggest dreams when I met him. I wanted to be the woman who would always be there for him when time gets hard, because it feels like he is just hiding all his emotions, all the struggles he felt, because I can see them through his eyes. But right now I can't face it, especially when he is crying for that woman, which I'm the reason why their relationship has been broken before. I'm afraid to tell him, I don't want to lose him.