Lascivious Desire

Chapter One: Escaping --------------------------- Nandini Happiness! What is Happiness? I had no idea. I never felt that thing in my life. Since then, I have learned to understand the pain, so I have no idea what is happiness but I want to feel that thing. Did I ever felt that thing in my life? Where i can find happiness? Nowhere. My life is so messed up that I will never find my happiness. I was bound to a life that I didn't want. In twenty years of my life, I just live a life where life sees only just sorrow, there was nothing but trouble for me. I just can't escape. What to do or what not to do. I don't know. But Today I decided that I will not tolerate this life. So I escaped my prison. I ran from my life. I know this people are following me and they wont stop until they found me. But I have to go. I cant deal that life anymore. I felt suffocated now. He destroyed my life. I cant go back to him. I just cant believe that my own mother is responsible for this. She never thinks of me, always she just wanted to see me in trouble. I got in a little bit to live in peace. It came in handy today, which I saved from my work. I cut a train ticket for Delhi because I know they will not search for me there. Not very soon. I took a sit at window side. I carefully hide my face that else anyone come here and find me. It's a long journey… 31 hours.. god save me okay. I'm so scared to face them. And that made me disappointed. I cannot ever find my happiness. At least I can try to live my life in my way. I don't have to go back to this cruel place where every day they torture me, abused me. I'm fed up with this. I have no strength to face that all. I felt that train is started. Little bit I felt relax that now I can go freely but how long? I tried to erase that thought for some times. I want to enjoy this journey… my first ever journey. I look around to see if there is any known face who can recognize me but thanks to God that there is no known face. It was a relaxation for me. I saw couple is chit chatting so lovingly that I smiled at them. So beautiful watch them talking so freely or else me. I never had any friends whom I can talk and share my feelings. My step father strictly ordered me that I can't have any friends. Yes you heard it right. My mother got remarried when I was five and after her remarriage everything changed so fast that I couldn't handle that. My mother was sweet to me but after marriage she just changed. She started to torture me and blame me for everything. Then my step father he is not less than anyone. He also loved to torture me. When I went to school I always had a bruise on my face. I looked ugly that no one wanted to be friends with me.. so I maintain my distance from them. I live like a person who doesn't have any existence. I comfortably sit on the couch and thinking about my life. How I managed to come that far with those torture. After all this torture I never give up. I always try to find my happiness but in last I never had this. With that thought I drifted into sleep…. "twinkle, twinkle, little star, How I wonder what you are, Up above the world so high, Like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle, little---" A girl was singing this sweet poem in darkness room. Moon's light flash in her face. She looks like a little doll, then I realize I was hallucinating me. I was singing this poem in dark. I heard a door cracked…. “Nandini.." a deep harsh voice called my name and I crawled back to the corner of the room with a fear. I was fearing of that voice.. “My, my Nandini, what are you doing..?" the voice melodically asking me just like I singing the song. But I was so afraid that I couldn't answer… “See Shanno our Nandini is growing up. Look how beautiful she is!” the person came to me.. it was my step father Trilok Murthy. I looked at him with a horrified face. “Right Trilo. Then what we will do with her?” My Mom asked dangerously. “Come here." he ordered me but I remain stiff on my position… I didn't move. “It's not a good manner not to listen your elders." my step father shook his head. I can felt his anger. “Then we should show her what would happen if she doesn't listen to us.” My mom said. “No. No. I'm coming. Please don't hurt me.” I pleaded and they laughed at me. I walked to them and my step father hold my wrist instantly. His grip is so tight that I cried out in pain. “Now tell me like a good girl what you said to your teachers about us?” he asked and looked at me like if I told a lie then there would be a consequence. I got scared because I couldn't tell a lie and I also can't spill out the truth. Then suddenly he tugged my hair from the back so roughly that it hurt. “Ah… I t-told them my father is dead and I lived with my step father. Mean you.” I stammered. Now my mother came and slapped me hard. “YOU b***h… who told you spill out the secret of our family.” she continuously slapped me. “I was afraid when they said they would call you for my marks. I wasn't doing well in the school” I quickly said. This time my step father slapped me that I collided with the bed side and got hurt. “I think she doesn't have her punishment that's why she is behaving like that. Obviously she is your daughter, she will behave like you.” with that he slapped my mother also. I ran to my mom. "Mom.” “Go away b***h. It's happened because of you. You ugly bitch.” she started to beat me. She threw me to the wall that I heard a crack sound. I laid on the ground, my step father came and kicked me on my stomach randomly. He kicked on my back side also. I knew that would be left a bruise. “Please stop." I pleaded. “Please.. its hurting." “You deserved it. Shanno give my razor. I will show her what's happened when she tried to go against us.” he didn't stop his kicking. My mom came with a razor. She transferred it to him. “Hold her.” My mom hold my hand tightly. He tuck my top into my rib cage then he cut me on my stomach with the razor. I screamed. He pushed a cloth to my mouth so my sound couldn't went out from this room. I wiggled to get free. It hurt like a hell. God please someone stop this… Please stop them…. He got to his work…. he randomly cutting my arms… I couldn't bear it. I was sweating.. what type of person beat a 6 years old girl.?… and then suddenly I felt a jerk.. AND I saw I sat on the floor, then I realized it's all a dream. A dream that I passed through. I'm sweating. I wipe the sweat from my face and fixed myself on the sit. I saw the train is stopped on a platform. What time is it? I turned around and saw a girl is sitting beside me. I observed her head to toe, her hair is curly and long. She wear a jeans and a tank top. She looks very hot with that tank top although it was very low.. I shook my head. When I was busy observing her, she turned to my side and opened her eyes and i was stunned. Her eyes filled with lot emotions that they were silently talking. Did she realize that without a word she could speak with her eyes only? “What? What are you looking at?” She asked rudely. “Um.. oh.. i…” “Oh.. I.. what..?” “Nothing.” I quickly shook my head and turn to see others and noticed in this room, there is no one, just only me and her. So I again turn to see her.. “Um.. what is the time?” I asked lowly afraid that someone will scold me.. She looked at me then observed my face and made a 'not interest in you' face then looked at her watch. “It's 5 am.” Then she again closed her eyes. 5 am! then almost 10 hours that I passed Mangalore. I sighed and smiled a little. “Feeling relaxed that no one is following you?” I jumped with that statement and turned my face and saw she was looking at me with curious eyes. “H-how… y-you kn-know that?” I stammered again. “I didn't know. I just guessed and now you confirmed it.” she turned to face me properly. “Means?” I asked. “When I entered this room I saw you were sitting there and hide your face with your stole so no one can recognize you, so I guessed that you were fleeing away from someone. Simple. Although I have experience, you know.” she said boldly. “I also ran from my home a long time ago, so you know I can understand” I don't like her first but her friendly and bold behavior attracted me. “Really? How you can tell that?” I also turned to her. “This is called experience.” She smiled. She gave me her full smile for the first time.“Why are you running?" she asked me suddenly and my face turned pale. “Um.. wo..” I hesitated. “Oh hesitating. Let me tell you why I ran. I ran because my own father r***d me and tried to sold me to a random gang so I ran away.. but before that I killed him..” she said and my eyes got widened… Killed! She killed a person! Oh Jesus! She laughed loudly. I frowned. “Why laughing?” “Oh god, you need to see your face. It was too funny.” she said and laughed. “Funny! it seems funny to you. Not every day I heard that someone killed a person.” I tried to reasonable.. “Really? From which world are you living? Boss everything is changed now. If someone ruined your life then you can also ruined their life too. So I did. He ruined my life. He bloody r***d me.. his own daughter. No one believed me. So I got my revenge..” she said. I can understand.. but I'm not like them.. I don't believe in revenge or any violence but see my life. I lived my whole life in violence and still I hate violence. “Why so sad?” she asked. “My own mother tried to sold me so I ran.” I spilled it out. Not the whole truth just a one side. She placed a hand on my shoulder, “It's really a bad world where we have to see such a thing." and she hugged me… for the first time in my life I felt love.. from a stranger. She pulled herself back.. “So where are you going..?” “Delhi. You?” “Wow. Same. Umm... actually I live in Delhi.. and I'm a bar dancer..” she said. “OH.. don't you feel bad?" I asked. “Bad? For what? I proud of myself because I can live my life in my way. And there is no shame on that I'm a bar dancer.” She explained. “Oh.. okay..” I replied. “So where you live... I mean in Delhi? Any friend?" she asked. “Umm.. I have no one there. I have no friends either. And I don't know where I will live.” I said truly. “Hmm.” She thought for a some minute. "Don't worry we will live together if you don't have any problem?” Seriously! she offered me to live with her… a stranger showing me a love which I never felt in my own house. I smiled. “I don't want to be a burden on you.” I said. “OH god! seriously you are saying that! I will be very happy as I live there alone. I will be glad to have you by my side.” She told honestly.. “No more arguments on this.” “Okay.” I smiled.. “You said you have never had any friends, right?” She asked. “Yeah. Never ever.” “here I'm and look we are talking from two hours, so basically we are friends now. let's start this friendship by introducing each other to us.” “Oh.. I'm Nandini.. Nandini Murthy.” I gave her a hand. She took it gladly and we handshake. “I'm Mukti Vardhan. So from now we are best friends.” Best friends! My first ever best friends! I looked at her kindly. “Now tell me why you screamed in your sleep?” she asked. My eyes widened and I started to feel suffocated like those scene is haunting me here. “Nandini? Nandu?” Mukti asked my name but I couldn't concentrate on her voice. Those scenes are came to my mind. Mukti placed a hand on my knee and I shoved it. “Don't please.” I whispered. “It's me Mukti, Nandini.” she hugged me immediately. I wiggled in her embrace but slowly I calm down. “You okay? I'm here.” she said lowly. I broke the hugged and looked at her. For the first time someone console me in my panic attack, a tears escape from my eyes. “Thank you.” I whispered.. She hugged me again like a big sister. “Sleep you need it." she whispered and ran her hands on my hair. I smiled. I',m happy for the first time. I felt love and I found a friend. With that thought I close my eyes. _____xxx______