Faith

i Chapter 1: how it started FAITH'S POV After years of getting drunk and being high and doing drugs, years of starving myself so I could be the right size everyone wanted me to be, years of being what they all expected of me, I'm finally here teaching ballet to kids and helping them achieve their dream. It's perfect except I'm about to die and I haven't done enough for them yet. I used to be a professional ballet dancer until I met God. It's crazy,I know but it is what it is. I had to give up a lot to follow God and I don't regret it except now I'm wondering if brain cancer has anything to do with my past mistakes. Maybe the drugs? "Faith,how are you feeling?" Doctor Alex asked. "Me? Oh I'm fine…except I have an IV running through my veins and my arm feels numb and I'm supposed to not think about dying in 8 months but yeah doc I'm soooo fine." I gave her a weak smile. "Have you told your family yet?" She asked with a worried expression on her face. I nodded my head to say no. "Faith,you can't keep doing this alone. You need people around you right now. You need your family's support." Yeah I do but not right now. I don't want them babying me around and being all protective of me which is going to end up making me feel worse about dying. "I have to go see the kids. It's almost 4." "You should be on bed rest. You should…." She was saying but I interrupted her. "I know but I never listen. Thanks so much doc." I pulled the drip out of my arm and she screamed. I smiled at her and stood up from the bed. This place was beginning to make me feel claustrophobic. Like this room was the cancer and I was inside it. "Don't worry, I'll take the drugs you prescribed a week ago. " My sight felt fuzzy but I'll make it to the ballet school and I'll be fine. Dr. Alex was staring at me in shock but I waved at her and left the room. The corridor was filled with sick people, who looked like the world was going to end soon. One word described it all- hopeless. I walked faster and reached outside the hospital just in time then bumped into somebody. "Sorry" I said without looking back then flagged down a taxi and requested that he take me to Epiphany ballet school. Walking in I noticed a plump girl of about 9 years sitting on the bench. She was saying something to herself but as soon as she saw me,she jerked up to her feet. "Good afternoon ma'am." "Hi…." I smiled at her. She bent her head shyly avoiding my gaze. She was pretty."can I help you?" I asked. "Ur…yes ummm…I…er…" she replied stuttering. I placed my bag on the bench and sat down. "You want to learn ballet yes?" I asked her. "Yes miss." "Okay …why is that?" She shuffled her feet and sighed heavily. "I want to lose weight. I'm too fat…" "Says who?" "Says the skinny girls in my class." Her face looked hurt as she said it. "You really shouldn't listen to people. What's your name?" "Louise. Louise Harvey." " Louise, ballet shouldn't be something you learn to lose weight, it's something you should do because you love. Hm?" She looked at me with sad eyes and I felt a bit of guilt and possibly pity? Because she thinks more of what people say and less of what she feels. "So does that mean you're not taking me in?" Her voice sounding close to tears. "Yes Lou. I can't, I'm sorry." Just then 2 girls Pamela and River walked in. "Good day miss Faith!"they chorused and ran excitedly to meet me until they saw Lou. "Oh…" Pam was the first to say. Lou bent her head and looked away. "What are you doing here Louise? Ballet is only for the slim girls…and you are fat!" River said disapprovingly. I frowned at her. "Hey, what did I tell you about body shaming people? There's nothing wrong with her size." "She so fat!" Pam commented and I glared at her. Louise gave me a sad look and walked away slowly. "Lou, you're in." I called out after her. "But miss Faith…"the girls protested. "I own this place remember and you girls have to go by my rules." Pointing over to the corner where the mirror was I added"now go and start practing what you've been learning for the past 2weeks…." "But we haven't learnt anything in 2 weeks except balance…." River said. "Yeah I know that. Until you get the first step right, you won't learn anything else…" Pamela and River grumbled and walked to where the mirror was and did as I told them. Louise was staring at me now. "You're welcome if that's what you want to say." She hugged me and followed after them. Well good deeds won't hurt anybody, will it? LEONE'S POV Moving into the new apartment was taking longer than I thought. The movers were yet to be here and I had left the hospital 2 hours ago for this purpose. Just when I was about to give up,they arrived and started moving my things in. By the time they were done,it was already some minutes past 7. The apartment was comfy, small but not boring and since I'm very conscious of hygiene,it looked okay to me. I started by removing my books from the brown cardboard boxes,then setting up the bedroom,then the kitchen and finally the living room. Cooking tonight was out of it so I ordered spaghetti and meatballs sauce for dinner. I was getting ready to sleep when I heard my door bell ring. I ignored it but it came the 2nd and 3rd time. Slipping my feet into my slippers,I walked to the door and opened it. "Hello…."came the voice behind the olive green eyes. I know her but I can't quite remember where we met. "Hi…" I replied. "Um I saw you moving in and I thought it would be a good idea to come say hello and possibly treat you to dinner?" "Thank you but no I've just had dinner." "Oh…okay well this is a little something for you." She handed me a small bag she was holding. "No thank you." She arched her brow at me "I'm not asking, it's a gift I give to anyone who comes into any of the apartments here. Take it that you are family." "Thank you but…"I was about to refuse when she shoved it into my hands. "Welcome to the family." She gave me a wide smile and walked away. I didn't want to be family because Family was the first place that hurt me. I shut the door and went back to my place on the sofa. I removed the contents from the bag and behold it was my favorite…cake. Chocolate cake. I sighed."Family…." The waves roared softly and the sound of children giggling could be heard. Close to a rock three boys were building sand castles while their sister was sitting close to them and pretending to be a princess. "Work boys before the warrior waves crash my castle…" "Shut up Amira. It's our castle, not yours." The red head shot at her. She frowned at him then stood up. "I'm leaving. I'm gonna tell mum and dad that you guys have refused to play with me." "Come on Amira, we were only joking." The blonde haired one replied. "Then make me a castle already!" She demanded in a high pitched voice. Just then a woman with black hair and gold highlights came to meet them crying. "Mom…." The red head called out. "Mom, Leone doesn't want to build me a castle!" Amira said. "Let's go home." "But mom…." Leone protested. "Now I said!" She screamed at them and broke into a sob. Amira started to cry too and the red head stood looking confused. A tall man with black hair came to meet them. "Rowlene please let me explain…" he pleaded. She glared at him and pulled her kids to herself. "Get away from here, from us…" The four kids stood staring at the adults talking back and forth and then the word divorce was mentioned. At this, the four of them began to cry and Rowlene joined in too. "I gave you everything and now, this is what I get in return Bradley?" "I wasn't intentional I swear it. It never was, I wouldn't hurt you and you know it…" She scoffed at his words. "Let's go guys…" she held their hands and led them away. "You are going to regret this Row…" he threatened. Rowlene stopped and turned to look at him. "Do your worst Brad…" And he did. LEONE'S POV I've seen what love does to people and it amazes me. It makes them want to do anything and everything just to make them happy. It's the most beautiful thing in the world. But it scares me. Mom and Dad didn't get a divorce but Mom got killed and Dad was behind it. He had a mistress that Mom found out about and Dad being the typical selfish being that he is expected her to keep quiet about it and pretend nothing ever happened. She would have except it was her friend he has slept with and that she couldn't take. Remember the blonde haired boy and the other one who stayed quiet the whole time? Well yeah,it was their mom who was dad's mistress. Funny. It's been over 25years but it's still fresh in my mind. We all went to the same church together. We were family and yet look what happened. It's hard to forgive them and move on but now that Dad has dementia I guess I should. I mean, he'll be Dead anyway so why hold a grudge. "Is he okay?" Regan asked me. "He should be." "What are his chances of survival?" "Slim. He should be dead before the year runs out." I replied flipping the page of a patient's medical record in front of me. "You still haven't forgiven him yet,have you?" "I have Rea, I just have a really odd way of showing it." "God wants you to be happy. He wants you to let it go." Here we go again. God. "And did he tell you I wasn't happy?" "Yes." I chortled." Well God doesn't mind his business don't you think? He tells you I'm not happy but doesn't tell me anything. Sounds like a gossip to me." "Leone…" "I don't wanna hear it Rea. God doesn't exist to me. As far as I'm concerned, God's dead." FAITH'S POV After years of getting drunk and being high and doing drugs, years of starving myself so I could be the right size everyone wanted me to be, years of being what they all expected of me, I'm finally here teaching ballet to kids and helping them achieve their dream. It's perfect except I'm about to die and I haven't done enough for them yet. I used to be a professional ballet dancer until I met God. It's crazy,I know but it is what it is. I had to give up a lot to follow God and I don't regret it except now I'm wondering if brain cancer has anything to do with my past mistakes. Maybe the drugs? "Faith,how are you feeling?" Doctor Alex asked. "Me? Oh I'm fine…except I have an IV running through my veins and my arm feels numb and I'm supposed to not think about dying in 8 months but yeah doc I'm soooo fine." I gave her a weak smile. "Have you told your family yet?" She asked with a worried expression on her face. I nodded my head to say no. "Faith,you can't keep doing this alone. You need people around you right now. You need your family's support." Yeah I do but not right now. I don't want them babying me around and being all protective of me which is going to end up making me feel worse about dying. "I have to go see the kids. It's almost 4." "You should be on bed rest. You should…." She was saying but I interrupted her. "I know but I never listen. Thanks so much doc." I pulled the drip out of my arm and she screamed. I smiled at her and stood up from the bed. This place was beginning to make me feel claustrophobic. Like this room was the cancer and I was inside it. "Don't worry, I'll take the drugs you prescribed a week ago. " My sight felt fuzzy but I'll make it to the ballet school and I'll be fine. Dr. Alex was staring at me in shock but I waved at her and left the room. The corridor was filled with sick people, who looked like the world was going to end soon. One word described it all- hopeless. I walked faster and reached outside the hospital just in time then bumped into somebody. "Sorry" I said without looking back then flagged down a taxi and requested that he take me to Epiphany ballet school. Walking in I noticed a plump girl of about 9 years sitting on the bench. She was saying something to herself but as soon as she saw me,she jerked up to her feet. "Good afternoon ma'am." "Hi…." I smiled at her. She bent her head shyly avoiding my gaze. She was pretty."can I help you?" I asked. "Ur…yes ummm…I…er…" she replied stuttering. I placed my bag on the bench and sat down. "You want to learn ballet yes?" I asked her. "Yes miss." "Okay …why is that?" She shuffled her feet and sighed heavily. "I want to lose weight. I'm too fat…" "Says who?" "Says the skinny girls in my class." Her face looked hurt as she said it. "You really shouldn't listen to people. What's your name?" "Louise. Louise Harvey." " Louise, ballet shouldn't be something you learn to lose weight, it's something you should do because you love. Hm?" She looked at me with sad eyes and I felt a bit of guilt and possibly pity? Because she thinks more of what people say and less of what she feels. "So does that mean you're not taking me in?" Her voice sounding close to tears. "Yes Lou. I can't, I'm sorry." Just then 2 girls Pamela and River walked in. "Good day miss Faith!"they chorused and ran excitedly to meet me until they saw Lou. "Oh…" Pam was the first to say. Lou bent her head and looked away. "What are you doing here Louise? Ballet is only for the slim girls…and you are fat!" River said disapprovingly. I frowned at her. "Hey, what did I tell you about body shaming people? There's nothing wrong with her size." "She so fat!" Pam commented and I glared at her. Louise gave me a sad look and walked away slowly. "Lou, you're in." I called out after her. "But miss Faith…"the girls protested. "I own this place remember and you girls have to go by my rules." Pointing over to the corner where the mirror was I added"now go and start practing what you've been learning for the past 2weeks…." "But we haven't learnt anything in 2 weeks except balance…." River said. "Yeah I know that. Until you get the first step right, you won't learn anything else…" Pamela and River grumbled and walked to where the mirror was and did as I told them. Louise was staring at me now. "You're welcome if that's what you want to say." She hugged me and followed after them. Well good deeds won't hurt anybody, will it? LEONE'S POV Moving into the new apartment was taking longer than I thought. The movers were yet to be here and I had left the hospital 2 hours ago for this purpose. Just when I was about to give up,they arrived and started moving my things in. By the time they were done,it was already some minutes past 7. The apartment was comfy, small but not boring and since I'm very conscious of hygiene,it looked okay to me. I started by removing my books from the brown cardboard boxes,then setting up the bedroom,then the kitchen and finally the living room. Cooking tonight was out of it so I ordered spaghetti and meatballs sauce for dinner. I was getting ready to sleep when I heard my door bell ring. I ignored it but it came the 2nd and 3rd time. Slipping my feet into my slippers,I walked to the door and opened it. "Hello…."came the voice behind the olive green eyes. I know her but I can't quite remember where we met. "Hi…" I replied. "Um I saw you moving in and I thought it would be a good idea to come say hello and possibly treat you to dinner?" "Thank you but no I've just had dinner." "Oh…okay well this is a little something for you." She handed me a small bag she was holding. "No thank you." She arched her brow at me "I'm not asking, it's a gift I give to anyone who comes into any of the apartments here. Take it that you are family." "Thank you but…"I was about to refuse when she shoved it into my hands. "Welcome to the family." She gave me a wide smile and walked away. I didn't want to be family because Family was the first place that hurt me. I shut the door and went back to my place on the sofa. I removed the contents from the bag and behold it was my favorite…cake. Chocolate cake. I sighed."Family…." The waves roared softly and the sound of children giggling could be heard. Close to a rock three boys were building sand castles while their sister was sitting close to them and pretending to be a princess. "Work boys before the warrior waves crash my castle…" "Shut up Amira. It's our castle, not yours." The red head shot at her. She frowned at him then stood up. "I'm leaving. I'm gonna tell mum and dad that you guys have refused to play with me." "Come on Amira, we were only joking." The blonde haired one replied. "Then make me a castle already!" She demanded in a high pitched voice. Just then a woman with black hair and gold highlights came to meet them crying. "Mom…." The red head called out. "Mom, Leone doesn't want to build me a castle!" Amira said. "Let's go home." "But mom…." Leone protested. "Now I said!" She screamed at them and broke into a sob. Amira started to cry too and the red head stood looking confused. A tall man with black hair came to meet them. "Rowlene please let me explain…" he pleaded. She glared at him and pulled her kids to herself. "Get away from here, from us…" The four kids stood staring at the adults talking back and forth and then the word divorce was mentioned. At this, the four of them began to cry and Rowlene joined in too. "I gave you everything and now, this is what I get in return Bradley?" "I wasn't intentional I swear it. It never was, I wouldn't hurt you and you know it…" She scoffed at his words. "Let's go guys…" she held their hands and led them away. "You are going to regret this Row…" he threatened. Rowlene stopped and turned to look at him. "Do your worst Brad…" And he did. LEONE'S POV I've seen what love does to people and it amazes me. It makes them want to do anything and everything just to make them happy. It's the most beautiful thing in the world. But it scares me. Mom and Dad didn't get a divorce but Mom got killed and Dad was behind it. He had a mistress that Mom found out about and Dad being the typical selfish being that he is expected her to keep quiet about it and pretend nothing ever happened. She would have except it was her friend he has slept with and that she couldn't take. Remember the blonde haired boy and the other one who stayed quiet the whole time? Well yeah,it was their mom who was dad's mistress. Funny. It's been over 25years but it's still fresh in my mind. We all went to the same church together. We were family and yet look what happened. It's hard to forgive them and move on but now that Dad has dementia I guess I should. I mean, he'll be Dead anyway so why hold a grudge. "Is he okay?" Regan asked me. "He should be." "What are his chances of survival?" "Slim. He should be dead before the year runs out." I replied flipping the page of a patient's medical record in front of me. "You still haven't forgiven him yet,have you?" "I have Rea, I just have a really odd way of showing it." "God wants you to be happy. He wants you to let it go." Here we go again. God. "And did he tell you I wasn't happy?" "Yes." I chortled." Well God doesn't mind his business don't you think? He tells you I'm not happy but doesn't tell me anything. Sounds like a gossip to me." "Leone…" "I don't wanna hear it Rea. God doesn't exist to me. As far as I'm concerned, God's dead."