Their Blu Dilemma (Book 2)

5 Asking her ex for a place to stay.

Blu

I watch as the manager howl my stuff up the stairs to the first floor. I stand down there frozen like deer in headlight.

My world is tumbling off of its axis and I don’t know what to do or how to stop it from spinning out of control.

But I know I can’t stand there all night long. I need to do something.

I walk to my stuff and ruffle through the black garbage bags for my phone, and purse. There has to be some money in there.

I think of calling Luna. But I don’t want to disturb her. And there is also the fact that I don’t want her to see me like this.

Though she doesn’t know this but our friendship is a little complicated. Where she is accomplished and very confident in herself. I am very good at pretending – I haven’t accomplished anything in the twenty-two years of my life, but I live like I have. My confidence is not that high, but I walk and talk like I am wonder woman.

When in reality I am not. In order to survive my father’s dominating control, I had to be like that – I had to create a wall between the Blu the world sees and the true me that feel oppressed and robbed of the chance to be my true self. 

I sigh as I pull out my phone and my purse out of one of the garbage bags. How the building manager managed to pack every little thing that I have in this pitiful bags is beyond me. I have a lot of things. I guess he didn’t pack everything. All I can see here are my clothes, and few decorative items.

I’ll have to come back for everything when I sort out where to live. I open my purse, and look inside. I have a R200 in there. This won’t be enough for a night at a hotel. I’ll use my card then, that’s if my father hasn’t frozen my accounts as well.

My eyes open wide and my heart hammers in my chest at the thought.  

Why didn’t I think of that?

Oh God…I hope not.

I boot up my phone, and google nearby hotels. I’ll book a room, and then pay for it online, to see if I can still access my funds.

I find a hotel not far from my flat, and book a room for the night. I proceed to make a payment. The small wheel turns for what feels like forever as I wait for the payment to be made.

I hold my breath, praying that he didn’t go that far.

When did he even find the time anyway?

He just told me that he was disowning me a few minutes ago.

Does this mean that he was planning this all along?

Oh God…my breath whooshes out of me as the transaction is denied.

“No…no…no…please no,” I clutch my phone staring at it as if I could make the payment magically happen. Minutes go by and nothing happens.

I clutch my phone so tight, as I breath through the frustration and the fear I can feel bubbling within me.

I quickly try to access my bank account online. But I can’t log on. He blocked me. My ass hits the floor as my body sags as all the strength seeps out of me.

This can’t be happening…I stare at my phone feeling like I’m dreaming. I’m probably still stuck in my flat lying on my carpet with the candle burning down to burn me alive while Mindy watches. That is better than this.

The manager returns to pick up the rest of my things.

“You can’t stay here, miss,” he says stopping to stare at me. I don’t move. He groans and walks up the stairs mumbling about crazy rich women and their equally crazy fathers. 

I am broke and homeless.

What am I going to do? Where am I going to go?

Xavier doesn’t want me. Vic is mad at me…but…

An absurd thought filters into my mind.

No. He’ll never come for me, not after the way I hurt him.

I close my eyes knowing I have no other option. The worst thing he could say is no. And if he says no. I’ll have no choice but to call Luna.

I go through my phone, to Vic’s contact number. My finger hovers over the screen. I cringe thinking of what he’ll say to me.

“Miss, you can’t stay here,” the manager says from the doorway. He stares at me as if I’ve gone crazy. “Please get up, and go. I need to lock and go to sleep. Your stuff is in the foyer.” He looks like he’s ready to drag me the hell out of there.

God…I can’t believe my life has come to this.

I nod getting to my feet.

“Thank you,” I say walking past him and up the stairs. Once in the foyer I can see that he has packed my things right at the door. I go and stand next to them, staring out into the night. The sky was already turning from dark to a deep blue. Soon the sun will be up in the sky.

I turn to my phone, and swallow my pride.

There is no pride when you are homeless and penniless, Blu, I say to myself. I take a deep breath as I place the phone to my ear.

The dial tone is jarring in my ear, making me feel so unsure of myself. I hate feeling like this – being vulnerable and needing help. 

His phone rings for a long time that I think that he’s not going to answer.

“Hello?” he says sounding sleepy. My stomach pinches tight at the sound of his voice, and my lungs cease in my chest.

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out.

“Blu?” he sighs into the phone. I can hear the hurt in his sigh. Tears prickle my eyes as my heart breaks all over again. I didn’t mean to hurt him this way. And now I need him. Maybe this is a bad idea. I open my mouth to say just that, but his words stop me. “You wouldn’t be calling if there was nothing wrong. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I say wiping at my tears.

“What do you need?” he asks sounding like he will give me whatever I need.

God…this man…

“I need a place to stay,” I say, and hold my breath waiting for his answer.

Vic is silent for a while. My heart hammers in my chest, because I know I’m asking for too much. There is no way he will say yes.

“Where are you?” he asks his voice low and devoid of emotions.

“At my flat,” anticipation buzzes inside me.

Say yes…please say yes… I silently beg.

“Okay, I’ll be there soon,” he says hanging up the phone before I could thank him.

Okay, I say looking down at my feet. I swallow the inadequate feelings that rushes through me, and resist the urge to go over our conversation one more time. I didn’t say anything wrong

And he said that he was coming.

I pull my suitcase to the side and sit on it. He is thirty minutes away, just outside of Johannesburg. I sit there trying to think of the first thing I’m going to say to him.

Thank you, that should be the first thing. And then what?

I don’t know…

God…this is a mess. I don’t know what I’m going to say when I see him.

I nervously bite the inside of my mouth trying to think of something just to settle the jittery feelings that were causing havoc within me.

I need to stop overthinking it…. it’s just for one night. And then after I’ll figure out something.

It’s a good thing that Xavier offered me a job.

Hopefully he’ll be paying me.

I groan as I remember what he said. This is no regular job…this is me paying back a debt my father owed him since I refuse to be his wife.

I close my eyes suddenly feeling dizzy…

How did I get here?

“Blu?” his voice washes over me and warmth fills my belly. I turn to him.

Vic…

Unexpected joy, causes my heart to flutter in my chest. I knew he was coming for me…but seeing him standing next to the door opens up all the feelings I am trying very hard to fight.

“Let’s go home,” he says. A whimper forms in my throat, but I swallow it.

I nod, and get to me feet. I reach for the handle of my suitcase.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it. Let’s get you into the car,” he says taking my hand. My body flames at his mere touch. Vic and I never had s*x, because I belonged to Xavier…now that I am free…maybe…

Too soon Blu, too soon.

I shake my head, knowing there were things we needed to work out.

Vic ushers me to the car. And then turns back for my things.

I watch him as he goes back and forth.

God, he’s an amazing man. If only I didn’t f**k it up.

But maybe we can fix it…well that’s if he’ll let me.

And I don’t think he will…