Love you Both, Love me Too

Sela: Fight or Flee

As Dash remained distracted by the book I gave him, I retreated to the stacks, as much as to catch my breath as to give myself another reason to speak to him. I could still feel his eyes burning into my retreating back, and I stood in front of the small, rotating fan as I tried to cool my overheated face. Offering my knowledge was what I did best, and it kept him coming back even when we both knew that he shouldn't return.

It was too close to something...wrong.

I had been drawn in by their story; watching as Dash and his best friend Thomas had to deal with the death of their mutual friend, Conner in a four-alarm fire. They had been celebrated as heroes, but each of them bore the weight of failure on their shoulders so heavily that they seemed buried by it.

No one had seemed to notice but me.

He had been coming to the library almost daily for weeks, and I knew that there had to be a reason more than a simple thirst for knowledge. Maybe I had caught a glimpse of it when he eyed me up and down each time he entered the small building before a slight smile spread across his face.

Maybe it was in the way he said my name, ever so softly and reverently as if he didn't want the last syllables to escape his lips just yet.

Either way, I felt a flush over my skin under his gaze, felt my heart rate increase with every smile, and felt my breath catch with every word he whispered over to me in the unoccupied room.

"There's no one else here, Dash. You don't have to whisper."

He smiled again, his five-o-clock shadow approaching something obscene with the way it outlined every dent and dimple in his face.

Not that I had noticed.

"Here's another one that's good for survivor's guilt."

His fingers ghosted over my own as I handed him the thin book, and I swallowed as his eyes focused on mine. They were impossibly blue, and it was so easy to get lost in them, but I couldn't afford to get lost again.

I was already in love with his best friend.

A chime at the door cause us both to look up from one another, and I stepped away from Dash slightly as I realized who had entered. Dash suddenly realized the book he held in his hand was the most interesting thing in the world, and I for my part, had the audacity to look sheepish.

Like a whirlwind of light and infectious, bubbling happiness Thomas waltzed into the Library as if he had never once considered the possibility that he should try, even for a moment, to be quiet.

"I didn't know you could read, Dash!"

He pulled me aside conspiratorially and whispered loud enough for him to hear.

"I think you might want to start him on something a little easier, Miss."

With a smile, I felt his strong arms wrap around me as he kissed my cheek and I turned in his arms to face him.

"I missed you, baby. You wanna grab some lunch with me down at Delilah's? She's got the Po'boy on special and you know I can demolish four or five of those, easy."

His eyes lit up at the thought of a good meal, and as I ran my hand down the sun-warmed, brown skin of his face, I knew I couldn't say no.

He and Dash were so different, it was always a wonder to me how they had been drawn together.

"Gross. I'm gonna head back to the shop, kids."

Dash made a big show of leaving, and even as he began to gather his keys and his coffee, I knew it was simply a ruse to get Thomas to act.

"Come on, man. Join us! Davis and Gray have the station covered till midnight, anyway. You can take a little time off now and then. It's called volunteer for a reason."

And so it was the three of us, as always, shoved into the small booth at Delilah's during the Friday dinner rush. I was pressed up against Thomas's side, and Dash sat right across from us, though he was careful not to let his eyes linger on me for too long.

Each time our eyes met, however, I couldn't ignore the jolt of electricity that shot down my spine.

Each time Thomas ran his hand down my arm, The jolt of electricity shot a little lower.

I excused myself minutes before the meal came, retreating into the bathroom stall with a sigh as I tried to ignore the tingling sensation that had forced me to squeeze my legs shut at the booth. I was embarrassingly wet, and I knew I had to find a way to control my desire before I made a fool of myself.

It would do no good for Thomas to realize that I was this attracted to his best friend.

Sure, he always suspected, but in an almost dismissively clinical way that assured me he held no real concern.

I chastised myself fully, knowing I hadn't come to the Florida Coast to fall in love, much less more than once. I needed to keep my wits about me, because I knew it wouldn't be long before I had to be on the move again, leaving the town, and everyone in it, behind me.

As I placed my hand on the stall in order to exit, the room briefly dimmed as I swore I heard the faint flutter of wings. My heart raced, and my hand fell to the dagger in my pocket, knowing it was not enough, and it would never be enough to protect me. I stepped from the stall into the empty bathroom, blade gripped so tightly in my palm that I worried I had cut into it.

There was no one there but me. I eyed my reflection suspiciously before calming myself and placing the dagger back in the sheath.

As I left the bathroom, however, my blood ran cold as I spotted the single black feather lying on the dirty linoleum.

I knew that I was running out of time. I would have to say goodbye sooner than I had hoped.

I hoped Thomas would find a way to forgive me.

I hoped that Dash would as well.