Crown of Thorns

Chapter 5

Princess Alia’s POV

And in that moment, everything changed.

I cried out loud even as the rain fell heavily on me, mercilessly.

The sound from the rain overwhelmed my voice, suppressing those tiny sqeauky voice.

But I didn't give in, I cried even louder, shouting and screaming, before finally falling to the ground. I dropped on my knees.

Drenched. Soaked. I held onto the flowers tightly as my hands were firmly plastered to her thighs.

“Why me?” I lowered her voice, still sobbing.

I was no longer a child, I was no longer a teenager as well. I was grown already.

And I grew so fast. In a snap of my fingers I didn't notice. My father still called me his child, I didn't notice how old I already grew.

I was still young. Very young.

To become a Queen?

I shrugged the question off my mind.

Fatherwould have to let me be by myself sometimes. He would have to let me go.

He would have to let me live the kind of life I always wanted to live.

Playing.

Going out with other girls in the kingdom.

Come to think of it, I never even had friends in my own region, my home. No friends at all.

I wonder what other female children would have thought of me, how proud I could be. But maybe they did not understand that I was restricted a lot as a child and grew with it.

To come to think of it even more, I was surrounded by elders just too much. I was bound by the palace walls just too much.

But I never showed it. I always obeyed, even when it went against my will, I did.

Wasn't that enough? But father could not hand over the kingdom to Darius, he was too careless of a person to become a leader. Too greedy. Cunny.

At least, that's what I heard.

I cried profusely as I spoke to my mother's grave, “Do you know a lot has happened within the short time you left us? Huh?”

I placed the lilies beside the grave. Realizing myself, I stood up, still sobbing and sniffing even as the rain drenched me mercilessly.

“Why did you leave me?” I questioned again.

“Life has been unfair, you know.” I sniffed again. My chest was probably hurting from the pain of my cry and the thoughts I never spoke of all this time. I continued, “I don't know how to live anymore, still, some people are out there looking onto me.”

“But why?” I said crying even louder, my mouth opened. “Why chose me always. Why not somebody else. I also wish I have to look unto someone… you. But you're gone.”

I couldn't help but cry so much that bitterly looking at her grave as if she was there with me.

The thought that I already lost her, and could do nothing about it made me want to rewind to that day and someway help her even when I knew I could do nothing about her death.

I still believed something could have been done to save her.

“Do you know father is sick? Do you know I don't want to rule? But do you know that I've made up my mind to rule too? “

I paused a while and listened even more carefully.

Waiting to hear my mother speak to me once again, but she couldn't. I knew she was listening anyway.

I did make up her mind to rule. For me. For Masha. For my people.

“Although, I am not ready for the circumstance surrounding it. I don't want to fight a war either. I want peace. I wish you were here. I wish everything could return back to normal.” I said and sniffed.

Those words held so much importance, so much emotions that I could feel it.

“But I don't have less of a choice either, it is what it is.” I finally said and stood quiet.

I watched my mother's grave in the heavy rain.

I couldn't bare it. Her silence. Masha grave and all that happened.

It happened so fast, so quick. Everything as I said was true. I wish everything could go back to normal.

“Alia,” father called out to me.

I turned fully to face where my voice came from, “ Your majesty?” I said with worry. “What are you doing in the rain, your majesty. Please get back into the palace, it is not good for your health.”

But he did not reply. He ignored like he didn't hear me.

“Only a selfish father would care about his health in such a situation.” He murmured as he approached me. But I could hear him even in the loud pouting rain.

Maybe his expression spoke louder than his words.

He ran to me with open arms and pulled me into his arms. He wept bitterly on my shoulders.

But I did this thing again, that thing of making him feel guilty by asking him, “Why are you crying, father?”

Like I didn't just cry in front of him.

He pulled away from me gently, looking at those weary eyes that turned bloody red due to my tears. “I'm sorry,” he said softly with his head bowed.

I looked confused, my expression searching why he would run to me in the middle of nowhere, under the rain and apologize. “Why father? What's wrong?”

“I was so overwhelmed by my duties as a king I forgot my duties as a father.” he paused and looked at me, and I got even more confused.

“I followed you here Alia. I saw everything, and… I… I overheard everything. I'm sorry…”

So all this time, his had been there watching and listening to me. I had the feeling earlier that someone was following me.

“For a moment, I thought to myself that I was a bad father. I didn't consider my daughter's feelings and just imposed my decision on her. It hurted you.” He continued.

I looked at him and his face read:

Everything I did. It hurted her. But she could tell. She couldn't say it.

I hugged him back, pulling him into my embrace and weeping. He weeped with me.

“I should be sorry, father.” I said still weeping.

“No my dear, I should be sorry. I could not bare it. I wanted to answer all those questions, hugging you, comforting you, telling you that everything is fine.”

Realizing, I stepped back a little. I wiped my tears and wiped his too.

“Father we need to get out of the rain,” I sniffed. “You are already too drenched, it might affect you.”

“ No my dear, it OK.”

“Mm-mmm, father.” I countered. “If anything should happen to you, I will not be able to find give myself. So let's get back into the place and get you changed, OK?”

He stared at me with this warm look I couldn't quite place and smiled, nodding.

The girl who he once took care of, now takes care of him.

Maybe he wasn't that bad of a father. Maybe it was already placed in the stars that one day I would take over Eldoria and he was more than happy to watch that happen.