Also Through the Looking Glass by John Tan

PRINCESS INCORRUPTIBLE (OR, SNOW WHITE) (From GRIMM) By John Tan THEY: the wandering-the-world-over tourists, would ever and always hear with wonderment, and, without the slightest hints or signs of weariness -- when the citizenry of Y-- asserted that 'twas upon a dark and dreary February morning that Snow White came into being; when, as soon as this subject was talked about and discussed, and following this up, the good hosts and hostesses of that very city had pointed out it was at a time when the amphitheater-like hills girding their capital city were covered with aprons of white, immaculate snow; and the King's subjects: housebound, fast snoozing, or having their wonted delicious piping-hot venison-and-warm-beer, or succulent pasta dish or beef-tea-c*m-eggnoging breakfast. And the tourists, looking at each other, would certainly say. ‘Tell us more!’ Well, ten o'clock hour had been a-tolling; and, in Castle Du Qunoy a young Queen, a most industrious young body, was looking up from her morning's sewing from her secluded window-seat by the side of her embroidered and agate-bead and gold inlaid work-box; when she saw many flocks of famished ravens fluttering about outside her spacious and many-tapestried closet. Those reconnoitering fowl of ominous apparel had been trying to find edibles, despite the snow coming down; as, doubtless, attracted by the faintly redolent smells that had wafted in the swirling-atom-filled-eddying-air that the young Queen found herself now as having been acquainted with in the winter atmosphere; of those under-cooked or burnt bits of bacon, spoilt beef steaks that wouldn't keep, and scraped off, raw ends and other oddments, such as, rinds and firearm-pellet-dotted skins and entrails of coneys and sow's flappy ears, or pettitoes that nobody had wished to eat, and suchlike crap -- the Castle's perpetually busy bevy of fat, royal cooks had been accustomed to fling -- higgledy-piggledy; or, in dollops and sheer hurry; out their big and tall kitchen windows. At that moment her silver needle slipped and she pricked her careless finger and a single globule of her blue blood fell down on the snow, for she had indeed been leaning too far out of the sash window. ‘Ouch, I do declare--' as seeing polka-dots, exclaimed she; and made her fourfold wishes aloud, hoping "the Heavens will bless her with a daughter whose hair be sable as the color of a raven’s wing, whose lips, be red as blood, and who will be fair: as fair as the purest virgin snow!” an idea entirely new to her; a novel kind of summary to her morning’s dour experience, until, one by one, she discovered the ravens, having fed themselves, winged away; cawing as they went. And she put her wishful fancy out of mind and continued stitching when the birds were completely out of sight. Afterward, it was now late in the dun-colored and sere and drab, rainy autumn, the Queen gave birth to a little babe girl, the only child the King and the Queen were destined to have. ‘Shall we name her Princess Lucille, Maud or Katherine, my darling little wifey-wifey?’ asked the proud father, the King, in high glee excitedly; the baby having, at last, been allowed to be brought before his Majesty’s presence for the royal inspection. The Queen, hereupon, suddenly remembering her some time ago impulsive wishes -- the child itself, being as fair as snow; had beautiful coral lips; as well as a tiny crop of her straight hair no less than jet-black -- the mother, now aptly communicated her personal view regarding the matter; so that the King at once heartily concurred; but not before flashing his altogether scarcely-seen-although-endearingly gay, mustachioed, little smile at her; while nodding his head heavy with the pressing full weight o' his ponderous crown; because, her Majesty, the blushing Queen, in relying upon her royal and a mother's prerogative had made her mind