My Angel Of Peace

Flashbacks (3)

We fell asleep but I woke up because my phone was buzzing so loudly. I jumped out of Miguel's bed and ran to his bathroom. I cried and cried.

"This wasn't going to make anything better," I said to myself. "When did I become that girl. i***t!" I slowly walked back to his room and picked up my dress. I put it on and slipped out of his room. I wanted to wake him up and see how he reacted. Would he show any signs of regret? Would he look sad or angry? I ran out of his house and walked to my house. I noticed I had so many missed calls and tons of texts from Liz.

-Liz, I'm sorry but I'll talk to you tomorrow- I put my phone in my purse and began to run home.

"Hey, Camila, how did it go?" my mom asked. "Where is Miguel?"

"He got a stomach ache from the food they had there so I took him home and then walked here," I said.

"Oh, we should get home then," Miguel's mom said.

"He's asleep and he took some pills for the pain," I said.

"Okay, we will head home and just check on him tomorrow," his parents hugged me goodbye and then my parents. I took a deep breath.

"I'm kind of tired," I said and slowly walked upstairs.

"I'm glad you had fun," my mom said.

"Yeah, it was a blast," I tried to smile. I went upstairs and texted Miguel about his fake stomach ache just in case his parents brought it up tonight. I went to my closet and jumped up into my secret nook.

"I'm so damn STUPID!!!" I shouted into a pillow. "Now what do I do?" Miguel started to call me and I decided to let it ring. I figured I would not think or speak of it. Tomorrow I will deal with all of this but for tonight I will pretend everything is still okay.

The next day, I wanted to pretend to be sick but I didn't want to prolong the talk I would have to have with Miguel. I don't know why but I did feel the courage to tell him one last time to go and be with who he really wants to be with. I guess I got what I wanted. I know it sounded wrong but he said he loved me and made love to me so maybe I can use that to live for the of my life with. I know I won't love anyone as I love him. I took a shower and got dressed.

"You ready?" I heard Miguel's voice say.

"Miguel?" I said confused.

"Yeah," he said. "You ready or not?" I opened my door and he leaned in and kissed me.

"You okay?" I asked him.

"Are you?" he questioned back. I smiled slightly.

"Look, I meant what I said," he began. "I can learn to love you the way you want."

"Learn?"

"I didn't mean it like that," he said. "I do love you, you know that. I want to be in love with you and what happened yesterday. I wanted it." I don't know who was more confused at this point. We headed to school and after he left me by my locker he headed to his.

"Camila, what the hell," Liz said storming up to me.

"What?"

"You said you would go to Trevor's after the dance," she argued.

"I know but Miguel,"

"MIGUEL! MIGUEL! MIGUEL!" Liz shouted. "Everyone is talking about his dance with Jennifer. How he was going to ask her out and how he told her he loves her."

"What?" I said hurt.

"Yeah," she said boldly. "Tell me you haven't noticed? I know you think he is soooo GREAT but he likes no he loves her. You think he is perfect but behind your back, he is probably sleeping around with her."

*SMACK*

"WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!" I cried out. "He loves me, he doesn't love her."

"Whatever, you always choose him over me and I don't care anymore," she said. "You can have him if Jennifer will spare him to you." I wanted to smack her again but I just slammed my locker closed and walked away. Miguel heard all the rumors that were spreading around school that day. He was extra attentive from then on. The rumors only got wilder and people would actually walk up to me and ask me about them. I didn't talk to Liz at all after that day. I was so mad at her. I wanted to forgive her for saying what she said and for trying to look out for me but she didn't have to say it so bluntly. I knew, I was probably the first one that knew he loved Jennifer but I wasn't going to tell anyone. I would look like a fool for still pursuing him. Liz stayed away from me too. I wondered if she really was so mad at me she couldn't even stand being near me. At least I had Miguel. He was doing and saying everything that I ever wanted him to. He was being a great boyfriend. I didn't know what to do at the point. I didn't even know if I wanted to do anything. Besides losing my best friend, my life was perfect. Besides the constant rumors that were beginning to make me paranoid, I was happy. Every time I saw Jennifer she would look away. Miguel avoided her but his eyes still wandered and so did hers. I began to wonder if they were secretly meeting or talking behind my back. If he loved her he had to be wondering how she was feeling. He would want to check in on her. I spent the next couple of weeks in a constant state of happiness and despair. Miguel did begin to act weird three days before the musical. He was telling me we couldn't hang out because he was busy. I could just wish and pray that he would have been honest from the beginning. I could blame him but I began to understand it was my fault too. Three days from now it would be too late for words and apologizes.