My Angel Of Peace

Flashbacks (2)

I pulled myself together and walked back out to the dance Miguel was apparently looking for me too.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said trying to sound as confident and joyful as I could.

"Wanna dance?" he asked. I nodded and the minute his arms wrapped around my body I held onto him tight, as tight as I could.

Hug me And don't tell me anything just hold me

Your gaze is enough for me to understand that you will leave

Hug me As if it were now the first time

As if you loved me today the same as yesterday

Hug me

If you go you will forget that one day A long time ago when we were still children

You started loving me and I gave you my life

If you go, nothing will be ours anymore

You will take an eternity in a single moment

I'll be left with nothing if you go

Hold me and don't tell me anything

Just hold me

I don't want you to go but I know very well That you will leave

His embrace was warm and gentle. I wanted this moment to last forever. I wanted to stay in his arms forever but I thought I should do what is best for everyone.

"I know something is wrong with you," Miguel commented.

"Are you having a good time?" I asked him.

"Yeah, It's cool and you look beautiful," he grinned. He always did know just what to say.

"I know you would rather be here with someone else," I said softly.

"Camila," Miguel said in a low whisper. "I want to be here with you."

"You want to be here with her," I felt the tears coming back. "Don't lie, please."

"Please," he said softly.

" If I looked for heartache, I found it," I said. "This is my fault, I made you do it. I'll tell our parents and I'll let you go so you can be free."

"Camila," I noticed his eyes roaming around. I could tell lots of things were running through his mind right now. "I want to be with you, only you. Please don't cry."

"Really," I said. I don't know why I believed him but for a second I did. Then I remember this was who he was. He was the kind of guy that would sacrifice everything for his loved ones. I wanted it to be true so I went with it. I wanted him to stay by my side so I believed him. I trusted him. If he wanted this, even for a little bit then maybe it could work.

"Can we go home," I said to him. He nodded and took my hand. He led me outside and to the parking lot. We got in his car and drove around for a bit. We ended up parking somewhere and just looked up at the sky. This made me feel better but I let something cross my mind. I don't remember when it first did but this wasn't the first time I thought of it. I took a deep breath.

"Let's go back to your house," I said. Miguel looked at me confused.

"Are you sure," he questioned. I simply nodded. Miguel hesitated to start the car. He finally did, his parents were staying with mine until the dance was over and that wasn't for another two hours. We finally made it back to his house. He didn't say much so I got out of the car first and went up to the door. He finally followed behind and opened the door. I took his hand and led him to his room. I could tell he was nervous. I knew everything about Miguel and I knew this would be his first time too. I wanted it to be me, I couldn't think of someone else being with him, especially like this. I closed his bedroom door and stood in front of him. He didn't touch me but I leaned in and kissed him. It took him two minutes to wrap his arms around my waist. I began to tremble and that's when he stopped.

"Miguel,"

"I can't, I shouldn't," he said.

"Please, I don't want it to be anyone else but you," I said. "It doesn't have to mean anything." I didn't know why I said that. I didn't even believe that so why did I say it. I know my tears had returned because they fell on his hands as he cupped my face.

"Camila,"

"Miguel, I won't ask for anything else, I think I can let you go if I just know that for one day, one moment, you were completely and fully all mine," I told him.

"I love you," I didn't want to hear those words. I thought I did but I didn't. I knew he didn't mean them the way I wanted him too.

"I know you don't," I cried.

"Camila, I f*****g love you. I don't want anyone else and I want us to try, to really try," he said. I looked in his eyes and besides his glistening eyes, I noticed so much sadness.

"I love you," I said. He leaned in and kissed me. He kissed me so passionately that for a moment I thought he really did love me. He ran his fingers through my hair and continued kissing me. I felt like my knees were getting weak. His grip on my waist tightened. I felt like this kiss was a sign of the world ending. I feel like now I can say it was but back then, I wish I knew this was the moment everything stopped being fixable. That this was a sign that the only way out of this mess would be death. We crossed a line, we had no business crossing. We didn't become one, we tore our hearts apart. We tore the lives of two others apart. We messed up and yet when I closed my eyes the night and felt Miguel wrap his arms around me, I knew I was loved. One single moment, he truly did love me and not like a sister.