My Angel Of Peace

Flashbacks (1)

"Ready to go," Miguel said. Miguel always drove me to school and back. I was glad to be able to spend so much time with him. The Winter Fest Ball was tonight and I was looking forward to it all week. I went shopping with Liz and my mom a month ago and bought the most amazing dress. It was pink with a beaded bodice and a tiered tulle skirt. It had a low v neck which I wondered if Miguel would like. I actually hope he likes the entire dress but tonight I really just want to catch his eye. I asked him to be my boyfriend two months ago even though I knew he didn't see me that way. I continued trying to get him to like me and want me even though I knew he had feelings for someone else. I always see the way he looks at her and noticed the way he gets nervous around her. I know our parents always joked about us getting married and how cute we were together but being together to me, always felt right. I just wish it felt right to him too.

"So, are you looking forward to the dance?" I asked Miguel. He smiled at me and reached for my hand.

"Yeah," he kissed it lightly and continued driving. Miguel always made me feel special but I can't deny that I knew something was off. But for the next twenty minutes, I didn't want to have a care in the world. I wanted to sit by his side in the passenger seat and feel the wind in my hair. I remember the day Miguel got his license we spent the whole day driving around. We took three road trips already and he promised we would go on our longest one yet before he left for college. Just him and me in his convertible. We finally got to school and we went our separate ways after he walked me to my locker. I was busy working on one last song for the musical when I should have been paying attention in class but I wanted everything to be perfect.

I love you so much, so much, so much,

so much Every day, a little more, what can I say

I love you so much, so much, so much, so much

For me, there is nothing like it,

Yeah, there is nothing like it

I kind of thought it was a bit repetitive and too much but just like every song I have been writing lately, I was always thinking about Miguel and that's how I felt. I loved him more than anything. I didn't know how to stop it or how to turn it down. It grew every day I was by his side. I met Miguel for lunch as usual and we talked a bit about the dance.

"So, who is Liz going with?" he asked me.

"Trevor," I said. "Remember we are going to his house after." Miguel gave me a frowny face and said fine.

We went to our next class as soon as the bell rang and since the dance was tonight we didn't have rehearsals. I hurried home and got ready. I took a long shower, one that included a concert and an encore. I got out and did my hair first, then my makeup. I put on my dress and took some pictures with my parents. Miguel and his parents finally came over and we took more pictures. I looked over all of them, especially the ones with just me and Miguel. We looked great together. I was so excited. We hurried out the door and got in his car to head to the dance. I met up with Liz as soon as I got there. She was wearing an incredible purple dress. We talked for a bit and I noticed Miguel talking to his soccer buddies. I smiled at how perfect everything was.

"Hey Camila, can I have a dance," Marco said as he came up behind me. I smiled and agreed. Marco was a nice guy and he was funny. I didn't think anything of it. It's not like Miguel would get jealous of Marco anyways. Midway through the song, I noticed Miguel talking to Jennifer. She was wearing a nice red dress. Her hair was up which she usually keeps down. I think just like Miguel I spend much of my day looking at her. Analyzing and observing her. I know her favorite foods and the foods she doesn't like. I thought about becoming her friend a few times but the way she smiled back at Miguel and the way her eyes lid up when she saw him always made me stay away. My chest always tightened and my heart always hurt when they were near each other. I guess he asked her to dance because he led her to the dance floor. Many people turned their attention to them. I swallowed hard and tried to not stare the entire time.

"You look amazing," Marco said.

"Thank you," I said softly.

"Really, you have to be the best looking girl here," he smiled.

"I doubt that," I sighed as I looked over at Jennifer.

and I don't know how to live If I can't get her out of here anymore

What I wouldn't give to kiss her

To hug her one more time

and I don't want to let her escape

If I can find her again

I won't lose her,

because it's just her

Unforgettable to my heart

Unforgettable

I listened to the lyrics of the song that was playing. I wanted to cry. I wanted to pull them apart. I wanted to leave and run away but I knew that I couldn't. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. I was numb. Everything that was happening was not wrong. I know I wanted it to be but how can it be wrong when he looks so happy. I felt the first tear form and I excused myself and went to the bathroom.

"How can I be so selfish, make suffer whom I love the most," I thought. "I want to set you free but when will you set my heart free. When will you let it go."