My Angel Of Peace

Our Song

I was so hurt but I was also so disappointed. I didn't want to hurt Ethan. He was so important to me. I wish I could just say it but my head, my heart, they just don't want to go back to that day. I couldn't sleep without him so when I knew he was asleep I went over to the bed and laid next to him. I got up before his alarm went off. I wondered if he knew I was next to him. He didn't move or try to snuggle up to me. I wondered how mad he really was at me. He got ready for school so I went back to hiding in my nook. I was wondering if I should tag along to school or not. Everything was weird now. I wanted to go. I wanted to be with him but maybe he didn't want me by his side. I decided not to go with him but he lingered back a bit before his mom shouted at him because he was going to be late if he stayed any longer. I was contemplating whether to go to school or not but I wanted to see the rehearsals. The show was in a couple of weeks and I was looking forward to it. I knew Jennifer would do a good job. I didn't go to class with Ethan. I headed to the auditorium. Most of the props were on the stage drying from having been painted yesterday. I walked to the middle of the stage.

" We are both like the air that is Floating free

I hear your voice,

I dream of you

And you are my angel of peace

Let me fly

By your side, I always want to be"

I started to sing. It was funny it only took Ethan five minutes to hear me and he came and stood beside me.

Your wings fill my soul

Your seal of love

I wear it on my skin

Just being friends ain't easy, baby

Waking up is a pain

If what I want the most is not true

And I still wait As a friend I have been faithful to you

Now I have you on my skin When is it going to end Or when will it come true?

I'm so afraid of losing you

So afraid of not seeing you anymore

Although you are my friend

For me your something else

It's a beautiful secret My heart will keep

Everything I've dreamed

it was with you"

"WHAT THE HELL, WHAT WAS THAT!" Miguel shouted. "What were you listening to. How did you get that." Ethan was confused at first but he soon started to realize that Miguel heard me.

"THAT'S OUR SONG!" he shouted. My heart sank.

"Dude, calm down, Jennifer gave me a CD-," Miguel didn't let Ethan finish and he punched him in the jaw. Ethan quickly hit Miguel back. I started shouting and telling Ethan to stop.

"STOP! PLEASE!" I shouted. Ethan finally heard my pleas and stopped.

"QUIT!" he shouted at Miguel. "I don't want to fight you. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been playing it. Sorry."

"I just. Her voice, I haven't heard it, I miss it," Miguel rambled. "I miss her." I saw the tears form in his eyes.

"Miguel," I whispered.

"It sounded live, damn, that was too much too handle," he said. " I remember the last time I heard it. It was actually the first time I heard it."

"Well, it's a nice song," Ethan said. I knew he was trying to get Miguel to talk and spill some secrets.

"Yeah, she wrote it for me or well about me," Miguel said. Ethan looked at me and I looked away. I felt my heart begin to beat and it hurt. I didn't know exactly how or what it was I was feeling but my chest hurt. How could my heart possibly be breaking? And I don't say that because I am dead. I say that because he already broke it. I never got to heal, or at least not probably. Ethan just numbed it or moved all those feelings to the side.

"I felt like s**t after I heard it," Miguel said. "I was in love with someone but her lyrics made me feel like an ass and I thought. I thought I needed to be by her side. I told her I loved her. I wanted her to have her dream come true. She was like a sister to me and I would never let anyone hurt her but I was the one hurting her."

Ethan looked like he wanted to punch Miguel again.

"That was a mistake, your an i***t for doing that," Ethan said.

"I made a lot of mistakes," Miguel said. "I just wanted to be a good guy. Everything I ever wanted was always second to what she wanted. I nev-," I didn't know what he was going to say next but I got angry.

"I HATE YOU!"

"I HATE YOU!"

"I HATE YOU!"

"I HATE YOU!"

"Tell him, Ethan, TELL HIM!" I shouted. "Tell him you see me. Tell him what I am saying."

"I HATE HIM!!"

"I HATE HIM!!"

"ETHAN!"

I started crying. I never wanted him to look out for me. I never wanted to hold him back. I just wanted to love him. He meant everything to me.

"IT'S HIS FAULT! EVERYTHING IS HIS FAULT!" I continued to shout. "I wish it was him who had died instead of me."  I fell to my knees in anger and sorrow. I know I didn't mean it and I was glad Miguel couldn't hear me. I knew I would regret saying it to his face. I would have died a thousand times before I would have ever wanted him to die.

"Hey, Miguel. If Camila were alive, what you think she would want you to treat her like all she was to you was a burden. Everyone says she was a great person, kind, beautiful, and talented. She didn't need you to look out for her. She was in love with you and wanted to get out of the friend zone. You didn't feel the same then okay you say that. SIMPLE. Move on, get a life, get Jennifer but don't live in this black hole of regret and loneliness because you feel bad for what you did," Ethan said.

"Easy for you to say," Miguel said. "I killed her and you want me to move on."