my Rapist my Lover

My Rapist My Lover 14

Monde I really don't have your energy right now"

"Don't leave I will leave please" he said touching my arm I snatched it away.

"Don't touch me don't f*****g touch me Monde" I said with tears streaming down my face. I sat down on the bed and let it all out. Did loving someone really hurt this much just when I have opened my heart for once in my life and he does it like this. It was like he tore my heart out and stabbed it with a steak knife right in front of me. To say I was heartbroken would be the least this was more than I could handle. He tried to hug me believe me I wanted to let him hug me but I couldn't let him. He got the message and told me that he was going to sleep at his brother's house he could go back to his wife for all I care.

This whole time his family had been taking me for a fool from the day I was introduced to them till now, Simphiwe didn't even think of telling me well who am I kidding I wasn't family she had to be loyal to her in-laws. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I heard my phone ringing somewhere in the house but I was tired. I had texted my boss telling him I was sick although I knew he didn't approve but I couldn't care less he will have to deal with it.

Simphiwe wasn't so bubbly when she came to my house, she looked good as always but that's not the reason why I'm writing this book. She found me still in my room under the covers with clothes all over the floor.

"This is so unlike you" she said as soon as she saw the mess but I couldn't care less what she thought. She started tidying up my room then went to the kitchen to me make me food that I wasn't going to eat she was just waiting her time. Okay makoti slow down. She sat next to me and told me to actually she bullied me to go take a bath.

"I know I am not your favourite person right now but babes you don't want Monde to find you like this and see the effect he has on you" well she was right. I got up and went to take a bath. After I was done I wore jeans with a grey t-shirt and slippers then joined her in the sitting room. We were both lost in our thoughts when I said "why?" she looked at me confused.

"Why didn't you tell me that Monde is married?" she shrugged

"It wasn't my place Minenhle I wanted to but I couldn't this is something he needed to tell you" she said looking at me.

"You know relationships are made up of two people not more than that and I respect that" she added. I understood where she was coming from but still you don't keep something as big as this one from people you claim to love.

"I thought you liked me, friends don't keep stuff from each other" she sighed.

"This really put me in an awkward position but for what it's worth I am really sorry Minnie" I understood where she was coming from I guess part of me wanted someone to put a blame on and it wasn't fair after all she had been nothing but kind to me.

To be honest with you I think I was just looking for someone to throw my stones at" I looked down.

" It's okay I think I would have reacted the same way if I was in your position" she said.

"Men can be trashy I know" she said taking a spoonful of ice cream, we were having ice cream while catching up on reality shows.

"I know right I was such a fool how could I not see it, I mean the signs were there I guess I chose to ignore them"

"How could you know you were in love babes but I've seen the way he looks at you I think he is into you" she said

"Looks can be deceiving hey"

We were still talking when Monde got in, he was still in the same clothes he wore the previous day you could see that he bathed. Simphiwe excused herself as soon as he got in telling me she is going to call. Monde was still standing there minutes later not knowing what to do with himself. Well he can stand there for an entire day while I do my things.

"Shouldn't you be with your wife?" I asked when he settled himself on the couch.

Minenhle please don't" one thing I've learnt about Monde over the past few months we have been together is that he honestly doesn't like to argue. He is one person who apologises once well we've never quarelled to a point whereby we don't talk to each other for an entire day and can't stand each other.

I dished out for him too after I was done with cooking since I couldn't eat alone and he pays for most of the things if not all at my apartment anyway. He was still in the same position when I have him his food staring on a blank t.v.

"Are you sleeping here?" I asked after I was done tidying up.

"Where else would I sleep at Minenhle?" he snapped.

"You have a wife I thought you would be with her because there is no way I am sharing a bed with you" wow I was so calm I was impressed with myself if he thought just because he got food from me then he was forgiven well he had another thing coming.

"Are you going to bring that up every time we are together?" he asked.

You are being ridiculous right now Monde, you can't throw that card on my face right now. How would you feel if I was the one who hid his husband from you huh? You have a family Monde why are we wasting each other's time? This is doomed!" I did not see this one working out, I was not a home wrecker. His face was buried in his hands this whole time not saying anything I had to ask as much as I knew the answer to what I was asking.

Do you love her?" he quickly looked at me for a second then looked away.

"Answer me damnit!" I snapped.

"I love her but I love you too babe" he answered.

"What kind of a fuckery is this?" he must think I'm mad or I'm losing myself.

"I want to marry you Minenhle, I want to make you my second wife. You are like a precious stone that is rare.

"Shut up Monde! Just shut up" I stormed out of the room.

How did I get up here, how did I find myself in this sticky situation? This is not how I imagined my first relationship at all. God can't be punishing me like this I know I don't pray often and I hardly ever go to church but this is just too much for any human being. I needed my mother, I needed a friend I needed everyone who would care to hear my cries right now. In all this confusion one thing I knew for sure is that I loved Monde but I wasn't prepared to be in a polygamous marriage actually I wasn't going to be in a polygamous marriage I knew that for sure. As much as I loved him I had to let him go, I wondered if his son hadn't gotten sick I was ever going to find out about his wife. Men a good liars I can give them that much.