LOVE IN THE TIME OF LOCKERS.

well growing up I never believed in love , I often heard people talking about how one gets butterflies or even acts in a different kind of manner when in love. So in my whole entire existence I’ve never felt, seen or experienced that kinda stuff , but things took a toll when I started high school. I knew things were going to be different , but I never thought it would be this difficult.I was never smart when it came to my academics but let’s just say I was an average learner , never got less than 50% , it’s either i was less or above 50%. When I started grade 8 all i was worried about was my grades and all that , while my friends were worried about having to ditch their primary boyfriends because there were hot guys whom they wanted to impress, all i was worried about was how high school would be difficult and how much effort I had to put in my school work. I never had interest in dating or whatsoever( btw i still am). So things were far from being easy, at first i was really worried but things got easier as time went by but the only thing that gave me problems was MATH & ENG , I struggled so hard that my pride wouldn’t let me ask for help or even ask questions in class but luckily I survived the whole of grade 8 ,Then in grade 9 , I met a few people who had an impact on my grades , I even failed term 1 just because I was too playful and all that , but I saw it too soon and I stepped up . I distanced my self and worked on my grades. Still at that time dating or even having a mere crush was the last thing on my mind , all I cared about was my GRADES. Things took a toll when I was in grade 10 , i was super excited about this whole thing of choosing subjects and stuff(btw i did not know what I wanted to be , still don’t). Of course it was hard seeing my friends and I part ways and having to follow our own paths, which will determine our future. But my friends and I promised each other that we would still communicate despite being separated from each other. So we were mixed up it was CAT & ACCOUNTING , didn’t have a problem with that but most people were complaining but their complaints were of no use , then we started getting along with the foreign people ( CAT) and it was super cool. Until my eyes saw this precious , beautiful soul , I never noticed him that much at first but when I laid my eyes on him I knew it was LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. Well I don’t know how but things really changed from there. As much as im the girl that did not believe in , I found myself feeling the unfeeling presence of love(don’t know if it makes sense). I kept stealing glances at him each and every day , a day wouldn’t pass by without me having to look at him. The thought of just looking at him gave me butterflies and I’d feel my cheeks turn red , I didn’t know what is it that was happening to me but it was DEF happening. He was so cute , handsome , sweet and all sorts of things. I knew something was up for sure and I had to get a way to communicate with him . At that time i was still using f*******: as a form of communication, so I decided to take the opportunity before someone could snatch him away from me. I started searching him on f*******: and luckily I found him, i was a bit hesitant at first but I eventually sent him a text message , how odd was it to text someone I didn’t even talk to in class yet I have the guts to text him in f*******:, well I didn’t care all I wanted to do was to get a way to communicate with him. When I got a response from him , my heart was pounding very hard and I was literally shaking just by the thought of seeing a text message from him , well I won’t lie this guy was very very intimidating, GOD I was even scared to look at him after that text message . Things changed after we spoke on f*******:, we talked for about 2 days then things became awkward between us , but the thing I loved the most was how he’d steal glances of me when I was looking away. Weeks passed without us talking, the suddenly I received a text message on w******p, I don’t know how , and when he got my number but he did , a part of me was just very happy, excited idk and the other part of me was curious about what he wanted. I asked where he got my number and he response was “I had to kill a few people to get this number”. , I know this does not sound right but trust me i was literally smiling the whole day at his response , then we got to know each other , we’d look at each other almost every single day , and you’d swear that we knew each other for years. Then he started approaching me and we’d talk about random stuff , we’d laugh and all sorts of things , when my friends told me I was starting to act weird, I knew that this guy had an impact on me, and it was LOOOVE. One day we were just talking and he asked me my favourite song which was Adorn by Miguel, turned out it was his favourite song tooo , this wasn’t just love it was beyond love let’s just say it was CHEMISTRY, we had a lot in common and this was definitely a sign , from there we started talking and chit chatting everyday and we’d have sleepless nights, late night chats you name it. we’d have synchronised conversations ( talking the same thing at the same time ) it was a lot , I remember when he asked me for the first time to come and take pictures with him , i was hesitant and I didn’t want people getting wrong ideas or anything of that sort then I told him I was not comfortable , but it was really a nice gesture and being a random person it felt special being asked by someone to take pictures with. Then during term 2 exam season, we lost touch because we had to focus on our studies and all that but we never stopped communicating with each other , we’d ask one other about how we wrote from the very first day of the exam till the last day. I remember this other day we were not writing but they were so I came to school just to support him ( maybe im exaggerating but we were attending that day) , and after writing we accidentally met and he insisted on giving me his lucky charm so that I’d be able to pass the exams because he would be there to hold my hand so the lucky charm was for me to remember him and the motivation he gave me (his words not mine), but because im a very stupid girl I didn’t take it . I don’t know what was happening between us, didn’t wanna label it or give it a title but I really felt special , seen , loved , cared for and appreciated. I was deeply, genuinely in LOOVE. Then it came to me that I had a big CRUSH on this guy , I remember him skipping school for some personal reasons and he’d call me everyday st night just to ask his my day was, because he knew it wasn’t good without him being there( exaggeration😝) , we carried I doing all those things like a couple would do , like the texting , phone calls and all that , mind you the way i was so in love i even made him my wallpaper and he did the same thing yoo , he even said “it’s good seeing you everyday when I open my phone” , was i not blushing ? def i was , people in class started noticing us even the teachers , for instance in the math class, sir nyandeni’s class , we were sitting in the same group and we were distracting one other so sir had to move him to another group , but with that the EYE CONTACT never stopped , grd sometimes wink at ne and I’d find my self blushing like a crazy maniac.