Surrender's Edge

Chapter 1Of course they were sleeping together. Of course it had only been a matter of time. He walked into the room and her eyes sparkled. She was all he could talk about after work. So it didn’t come as a surprise to Geoffrey when he finally saw the indisputable evidence with his own eyes. Saw, heard it, smelled it even. He only witnessed the two of them for a second, but it was a second that would stretch to an infinity and sear itself to his brain. Geoffrey’s chest hurt. His head hurt. He returned to his desk dazed, unable to see anything except them, together. Sunny on Nash’s lap, his hands up her blouse, her mouth on his neck. Jealousy was a poison-tipped arrow in his heart. Of course they were sleeping together. He sat down heavily in his chair, his eyes drawn to the desk on the opposite side of the room. Sunny sat there every day, her eyes bright, her smile wide. She flirted with him, flirted with their clients, flirted with Nash. It hadn’t meant anything. Geoffrey knew she never meant it when she batted her eyes at him. But how was he supposed to know she meant it when she looked at Nash? The phone rang. He knew he should answer it. He let it ring. After six rings, the voicemail picked up and the small office was plunged into silence again. Geoffrey waited for any signs from Nash’s office, but there was nothing. Perhaps the two of them were so wrapped up in each other that they hadn’t heard the phone ring at all. Geoffrey leaned forward, resting his head on his desk, his arms cushioning his brow. He took several deep breaths, willing his stomach to settle. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw them. Saw them together, but the image evolved. Sunny wasn’t just kissing his neck, she was trailing her mouth down his chest, unbuckling his belt, wrapping her lips around his c**k. And Nash wasn’t just groping her under her blouse. She was naked, her n*****s hard, her flesh hungry for his touch. Geoff groaned. He was going to torture himself with these visions for the rest of his life. He’d never stop. He’d poke and prod at the memory until it was flaring in agony like an abscessed tooth. The unmistakable sound of Nash’s door opening in the silent office jerked Geoffrey from his thoughts. He straightened quickly, wiping his face of any emotion as Sunny stepped out of the room. Her shirt was straight, her hair combed, and her lipstick reapplied, but now he could see it all over her. How had he missed it before? The flush of her cheek, the light in her eye, the playful smile that tugged on her full lips. “Hey, slugger. Sorry I missed the phone. The boss man wanted me to take some notes.” Geoff stared at her. How many times had she lied like that before? How many times had he completely ignored it? “I missed it, too,” he said, his voice bland. “You’ll have to check the messages.” “No problem. Hey, Geoff?” “Yeah?” Geoff busied himself with the computer, opening random files, hoping she would get the hint. “Can you give me a lift tomorrow afternoon? I need to go to the dentist, and they told me I can’t drive myself home.” Geoffrey’s gaze darted from the computer screen, to her, and back to the computer. “I’m sorry, I’m busy.” “You’re busy? Geoffrey, I schedule all your appointments. You have tomorrow open, or else I wouldn’t have asked,” she pointed out. “I’m busy,” Geoffrey repeated. He forced the next words out of his mouth. “Maybe Nash can help you?” “Nash has a meeting tomorrow,” Sunny countered. “He’s meeting with the Bowies. Your biggest clients. Ring any bells?” “Oh. Right. Can you take a cab?” Sunny’s face fell, and Geoffrey hated himself for it. She didn’t look upset, just disappointed. And confused. And why wouldn’t she be? Geoffrey had always bent over backward to help her, agreeing to a variety of favors, from acting as chauffeur to fixing her garbage disposal one memorable Thanksgiving afternoon. In other words, he had never told her no. Until now. And he couldn’t even stand to look at her. “I guess I could.” “Look, Sunny, I’m sorry, it’s just…” She held up her hand. “No, no, I understand. Hey, it’s not like you’re my errand boy, right?” I’m not your anything, Geoffrey thought before turning back to the computer. He didn’t look at her, but he was all too aware of her presence. He was always too aware of Sunny’s presence. And he thought, maybe, one day she wouldn’t see him as her best girlfriend who happened to have a reliable car. The words in front of him were meaningless. He wasn’t going to get any work done, and there were still four more hours before he could realistically go home. Nash’s door opened again. Geoffrey didn’t look away from the computer until he heard his name. “Hey, Geoff. Do you have the Fielding file?” Geoffrey silently reached for the thick folder on his desk and handed it to Nash. He couldn’t lift his gaze to meet Nash’s eyes, and was careful not to let their fingers brush. He didn’t feel the same sort of despair over Nash that he felt for Sunny—that ship had sailed years ago and he’d learned to live with it. But it still hurt. A little. In a secret place that Geoffrey didn’t like to acknowledge. “You okay, Geoff? You look a little pale.” Geoffrey glanced up, forcing a smile. “I’m fine.” “Good.” Nash turned back to his office, sparing a brief smile Sunny’s direction before disappearing behind the door. “You do look a little pale,” Sunny observed. “Maybe I just need some air. I think I’ll take lunch now.” Sunny frowned, confused. “Take lunch? Didn’t you just get back from lunch? I thought you left just after twelve.” “No, I…” Geoffrey stopped, understanding. When he had slipped out to get the papers he’d left in his car, she’d assumed he was going to lunch. So she had taken her own break on Nash’s lap. “I got caught up in traffic. I came back before I had a chance to eat.” Now she looked at him sympathetically. “Man, I hate it when that happens. That’s why I started eating here at the office. No wonder you look a bit green around the gills. Why don’t you go around the corner to the deli? Get yourself a sandwich?” The hell of it was, Geoffrey could actually see that she cared. She was concerned about him. She didn’t want him to be pale, or green around the gills, or miserable. Geoffrey understood at that moment that if he stayed, if he had to see the two of them together—and pretending they weren’t together—it would make him crazy. “Thanks, Sunny. I think I’ll do that.” She beamed at him. “Hey, I need you to be in a good mood. When you’re not happy, the whole office falls apart.” Geoffrey snorted. “I’m sure my empty stomach isn’t that dire.” The pain in his chest, however, was something else entirely. “Do I have any appointments this afternoon?” She consulted her calendar, biting the tip of her pen. “Jack Henderson is going to be here at three, but I think that can be rescheduled,” she said helpfully. “Could you do that for me?” Geoffrey asked. “I’d really appreciate it.” He hated to let his emotional turmoil affect his job, but he couldn’t even breathe with her in the room. He just needed an afternoon. A little time. A little space. He needed to let himself become accustomed to the new shape of things. Nash and Sunny wouldn’t keep their relationship from him forever. When they finally decided to stop lying to him and come clean, he would need to be prepared. And that might take a little time. “Yeah, no problem, Geoff. Should I tell Nash you’re taking the afternoon off?” Geoffrey knew Nash deserved to be told personally, but he didn’t want to talk to him. Not until he could look at the other man without losing his composure. “Yeah. Thanks.” “Maybe it’s some sort of bug?” she suggested. Geoffrey stood, pulling on his jacket. “Maybe.” “Promise me that if it gets worse, you’ll go see a doctor?” “If what gets worse?” Geoffrey asked, opening his briefcase and loading it with papers. “Whatever is wrong with you. I mean, last winter you had the stomach flu and you dragged yourself to work. It must be pretty serious if you’re taking some time off,” she observed. Geoffrey looked up, finally meeting her eyes. “Yeah, I think it might be.” “Maybe I’ll bring some chicken soup for you later on.” “Thanks,” Geoffrey said softly. “But that’s not necessary.” “You’d do the same for me.” He would do the same for her. He’d do anything for her, if she asked him. He’d be anything she wanted. “Call me if there’s an emergency. I’ll keep my cell phone on.” “Yes, sir.” Geoffrey paused at the door, turning to look over his shoulder once more. Sunny was typing, her manicured fingers flying over the keys. Over her shoulder, he saw Nash through the office window, bent over his desk, his brow furrowed in thought. His heart skipped a beat. Of course they were sleeping together. * * * * Geoffrey stretched out on the couch, a beer in one hand, his phone in the other. After some consideration, he decided to turn it off. There might be an emergency at the office, but he doubted anything would happen that Nash couldn’t handle himself. And it technically wasn’t his responsibility either. It was all Nash. Nash had had the original idea to start their own firm. Nash had had the big dream in the corner of their first basement office. Nash had had the goals, the foresight, and even the money. Nash had always seemed too big for his small life, and that meant success was a given. Fate. Nobody as driven, as clever as Nash could remain in a dingy basement office. Geoffrey had been caught up in his wake. He’d followed Nash from their first small-time job at Brown and White, agreeing to invest what little money he had into Nash’s dream. He had then followed Nash from office to office, job to job, client to client, happy to do everything in his power to build Nash’s dream. He still remembered the day they hired Sunny. It was the week after they moved into their most recent office space. They had felt invincible that week. And why not? They had a roster of clients that rivaled consulting firms twice their size, and Geoffrey had managed to secure a prime location for their permanent office. If Geoffrey was ever going to have the courage to reveal his feelings for Nash, it would have been then, in that golden time, when everything was going their way. But in the end, Geoffrey had changed his mind, unable to risk the good relationship they did have. They were partners. They had a business together. If Geoffrey made a pass and Nash rejected him, they would still be business partners. Like they were still business partners now. Geoff supposed his feelings for Sunny might have been misplaced. Perhaps he was looking for something to refocus his emotions on, looking for a distraction from Nash, and his eyes had fallen on her. Or maybe she was just one of the most gorgeous, surprising, exhilarating women he’d ever met. Either way, it made sense that the two people he loved more than anything would be together. Women never even spared a second glance at Geoffrey when Nash was in the room. Geoff knew he wasn’t ugly. Some days he thought he might even be handsome. But Nash was something else entirely. He was ridiculously handsome, to the point of being beautiful, his face and body something out of ancient Greece. And he had the easiest smile that lit his face. But Geoffrey knew Sunny would never be able to see him. Not while Nash blinded her. Why had they hid it? Why not just tell him? Maybe he didn’t need a formal announcement, but Nash was supposed to be his best friend. Didn’t best friends tell each other when they were banging the receptionist? Unless Nash knew about his feelings for Sunny, or Sunny had somehow managed to figure out his feelings for Nash. Geoffrey pinched the bridge of his nose. It was too complicated. He’d created a mess, albeit unknowingly. He hadn’t meant to fall in love with two people. He didn’t even know it was possible to be in love with two people at once. He couldn’t see them again. Not like this. It hurt. He knew he never had a chance with either one of them, knew they saw other people, knew Nash in particular had a long list of willing partners, but that was different. He didn’t know how or why, but it was completely different. Why didn’t they just tell him? Why did he have to learn it this way? Why couldn’t he just get over it? He downed the beer in greedy gulps, hoping the alcohol would mute the questions. It didn’t seem to make a difference at all, so he tried again with a second beer. And then a third. And a fourth. And then he lost count. Geoffrey had never been much of a drinker, but something had to wash the memory from his mind. Something had to smother the pain in his gut. But it didn’t work. At one point, when his living room was plunged into complete darkness because the sun had disappeared and he couldn’t be bothered to turn on the light, he imagined the two of them in Nash’s bed. He couldn’t do this.