Madly Inlove

It is a day where sorrows and pains can be seen in everyone’s eyes. Tears in their faces left a trace—a mark that symbolizes pain and agony. All the people around wore white shirts as they attended someone's solemn burial. Laurence wanted to attend the event despite the nervousness she felt. Knowing that everyone hates her so bad now, Louie, her boyfriend did not let her attend solely. Louie tag along with her, securing that she is safe and protected. They are near. Lau sees it already. She clearly sees the place now but as they go nearer, her heart keeps on beating so fast. Her hands are trembling and she can’t control it. She felt someone’s hand at the top of her trembling hand — massaging it softly, trying to soothe her. “It’s okay love. Everything will be okay.” Louie looks at her tenderly, whom eyes shows full love and affection towards his girl. Those looks give assurance that everything will be okay. But, she don't know…She can't tell if things will go right after. “Do you like to stop first for some minutes? The burial is not yet starting anyway. You can think of it again, if you’d like to attend or not.” Louie slowly caressed her hands and for some reason, it made her calm. “I’ll go love, I'm already here e. It’s just that...I can’t help of it but to feel guilty every time I think of it. I'm carrying the weight of guiltiness up until now. And the “what ifs” that kept on eating my conscience. I know it is my fault why she's been there, lying lifeless. Yes, she's right all along. I, I stole everything from her…her happiness and all. I’m bad, so bad that people hate on me now.” Her eyes are now full of tears. “Hussshh. Don’t think about it too much. You can cry and blame yourself but don’t think like you are the one who killed her. You’re not. Believe me, you’re not…I believe in you because you’re not capable of doing it. There’s someone behind it and the authorities are working about it now,” Louie assures her to lighten her mood. “But they all hated me now. Because I am the reason why she went that place and crashed in the accident. I am the reason...I can’t deny that. The guilt will hunt me down till death.” Louie walked by her side as they entered the cemetery. Anytime she's going to collapse but thanks to Louie who hold her still and become her source of strength. They observe the whole ceremony from afar. She planned to actually go there or if not, nearer from the area but Louie warned her the possible chaos that might happen if people saw her there. “Maybe we can go nearer when they are gone. Don’t worry. I’ll go with you, love. Just...uhm, let’s just stay here for now because I don’t want the situation to become worst than what we have now...” They waited until almost all of the people left already before they go to the tomb they intended to visit. As soon as she arrived at the feet of the tomb, she traced it with her hands. And then again, her eyes started to become swollen. She's not tired of crying again and again. When will this end? She and Louie placed the flower they bought along with a candle at the top of the tomb. Gaea Cassidy Caito. Born on November 15, 2000. Dead on June 19, 2022 “Gaea... I’m sorry...I hope you can forgive me...” They offered a prayer for Gaea before leaving. God, she’s so thankful that her boyfriend stayed by her side. And she’s so lucky that Louie will do everything to accompany her. She loved him more because of that. *** The time when she think everything has been healed, became more vague. People might not explicitly confront her, but their eyes say everything. The madness is still there, not even loosened but became more intense and terrifying. She seek forgiveness, she want peace, but she doesn’t know where to get started. And one of those people who hated her the most kept on bringing up and pushing her to the edge. The man keep on telling her that what's the purpose if she will move on and be happy if she is the reason why the love of his life was now gone? “I hope you can forgive me, Gael. I'm so sorry…” she bowed her head, pleading forgiveness in front of Gael who is arrogantly standing in front of her. His hands lays inside his two pockets and smiled at her wickedly, but because she is not looking at him, she didn't see it. “And if I don't? What else could you do, hmm? Seeing you crying is my happiness, my Lau. Seeing you torn into pieces is my satisfaction. Bear with it until your last breath.” Gael is about to leave but Lau hold his coat. Gael was taken aback, seeing Lau looking more devastating than before. “I'm so tired with all of this. I also have a life and work outside. I can't be your helper anymore. Please Gael, don't punish me too much like this!” Lau looks thinner than before. Her eye bags got bigger and her overall physical state shows how stress she is. She missed everyone, including her work before as a nurse in a well-known hospital which happened to be owned by Gael’s family. Everything changes when one day, she received a news that she was been fired in the hospital she's been working for. She applied in another branches but got rejected, almost by all hospitals in the city. “I paid you as my helper and your salary is the one that kept you alive. Hmm, you’re tired? Okay, I'm negotiable though.” She looks at Gael who is now smirking and intimidatingly towering above her. “I'll set you free, in one condition.” “Wha-what is the condition?” Afraid to ask, but still have the courage to ask Gael about it. “Warm my bed for a whole night. Take it, or leave it.” And with just one another mistake, her life is now in another trouble. She can’t help but to cry and cry until there’s no more tears coming. *** She badly want to get up so she use the blanket to cover her naked body. She became careful not to wake up the man whom she had just slept with. He sleep so peacefully. The sounds of his breath are in rhythm, which are good to hear but she's afraid to admit that. This is the first time she saw him upclose. After a long time, she noticed how relaxed his eyebrows are, very different from before when there was no time his eyebrows wouldn't dance in annoyance. His sleeping state doesn't show any sign of a beast, but a Greek God perfectly sculpted hot and fine. “God, what am I even thinking?” She slowly shakes her head after she realized how she complimented the man that ruined her whole being. She get out of the bed despite the soreness she felt in between her thighs. She scanned for her clothes and gasped as she saw her tops and bra — torn and ruined. The blanket and other things scattered down the carpet and are even disarranged. It vividly shows how wild the man was last night. Despite being torn, she still use those to cover her body. With the use of her fingers, she comb her messy hair quickly. She moves quietly and avoids making unnecessary noise. She badly wants to leave before the man wakes up. Before leaving his condo, she glanced at the man again who is still sleeping peacefully. “I hope you’ll keep your promise. I hope you will not bother me anymore...” She can't walk and stand properly because her private part is hurting, but she stay still to not be called “weird” by other people in the elevator. As soon as she sit inside a taxi, she let out a small cry and hit her head as she realized how stupid she is. “Gosh! What have I done?”