Life gave me a second chance yet I don't know if I should be grateful or wish that I was rather dead than alive. Life has taken more from me than I ever had. My parents were the most important people in my life but death separated me from them earlier than I expected or liked. Truthfully I would have rather died than lose them but I had no say in the matter. That night my father tucked into bed and read a fairy tale to me. My mother sang me a melodious lullaby and as I dossed off to a blissful sleep I felt them gently kissing my forehead. " Sweet dreams, my little princess," my mom whispered before she and my father left. The dreams I had were not at all sweet, they were my worst nightmare that materialized in just a few hours. In the dream, my parent was fading away from me. Their hands slipped away from mine when I tried to hold on. Their vision in front of me was fading and I tried my best to run after them but I could not catch up to them until they vanished like a light out.
I woke up drenched full of sweat and alone. I had a bad feeling deep down but I did not know that my nightmare was the reality. That night my parents died and it was the last day I ever saw them. Living in innocent bliss was over and the world of a young girl came crashing down on her. Like the vision of her patents fading away from me, the happiness and light in her life faded with them and darkness lingered.
I had no one anymore but one day a man walked into my gloomy life. He claimed to be my uncle on my father's side, Bobby Simpson and I had never heard about him. My father never talked about his family. I only knew that my grandfather suffered a heart attack and died. Shortly my grandmother also had a heart attack, something about feeling lonely and missing my grandfather too much. True love, I suppose. My uncle proceeded to claim complete custody of me and he took me to his house. Things changed entirely and I felt like I was existing but not alive. I yearned for the line my parents showered me with which was just a pitiful distant memory.
The was no warmth anymore but a cold child. I never warmed up to my uncle and he did not make an effort to make me comfortable. I became withdrawn and distant from reality. At a certain point, I thought of taking my own life in hopes that I would reunite with my parents and escape my perpetual miserable existence. That thought got expelled from my mind because I was a coward, I could gather the courage to do it myself. So I continued to live. I told myself that my parents would not be happy with me if I killed myself. I remembered a time when it was my father's birthday. Like always, my mom and I baked him his favorite chocolate cake and put some candles on it. He blew out the candles to make a wish and I asked him what he wished for himself. He said, " I did not wish anything for myself. I wished that my little girl grows up to be a beautiful woman with big dreams. I want her to achieve all of her dreams and prosper in life. Above all, I want her to be happy and for nothing bad to befall her." I didn't understand then but I understood later on. Therefore I made it my goal that I would stay alive and do everything that I wanted to do to make my parents happy and proud of me. My childhood phase was gone and I went to college. I wanted to move to a dorm but my uncle did not agree. Something about my safety. Did I forget to mention that I was an heiress of a big company? SC group. I will get back to that part soon.
Anyways I was not allowed to move out of the house. I went to college and came back. I had no friends because I was an introvert with an attitude. I pushed everyone away. I did not want to form bonds or any attachments because I feared that I would get used to a person only to lose them. That was not a problem because no one was persistent enough to get through to me
That is until I met a boy named Eric Shaw.
I was determined to steer clear of him but somehow he convinced me that I needed someone I could warm up to and talk to. He became the friend I never had and I began to open up to him. I felt that I could trust him and I told him everything there was to know about myself and I opened the doors of the house to him. We spent most of the time together until he met my uncle. I don't know how or when they established their relationship but Eric was more into business talk than anything else. It went on for 2 years and Eric ended up joining the company after we graduated from college.
Then suddenly out of nowhere, my distant slightly cold friend hogger uncle comes up with a suggestion that I mary my friend. Oh wait! that was not out anywhere, it was when I had to take over the company. He convinced me that it was for the betterment of the company and to assure the board members that I was mature enough to handle things at a young age. Marriage? I thought it was stupid. How could I get married prove that I was capable of taking over a company but with so much persuasion I fell for it? When I thought about it more it was not so much of a bad idea. Eric was a nice guy, level-headed, and all about business. I figured we could do this hand in hand in and gradually we would build a life together. So I went ahead and married him. It wasn't a grand affair, just a few people as witnesses. I felt empty and the whole thing felt wrong. Deep down I had that feeling, that bad feeling I had when my parents died. But I ignored it because everything seemed fine on the surface. And the saying, ' there's more to things than meets eye' could never have been more accurate.
I realized all that when I was dragged on the sham of a honeymoon. We went to Paris courtesy of my uncle and to be honest, it was plain weird. Eric was all over me acting like a roadside Romeo and I had to force myself to become his Juliet, kidding! it was borderline awkward and I tried to make it less of that. For some reason, I kept making excuses to avoid nuptial night because I was not sure if I was ready yet or if I wanted. I wasn't quite yet used to the concept of us being husband and wife.
Then on the third day of fake paradise, Eric came up with an idea for us to go on a cruise in Deauville sea on a yacht. I had nothing better to do so I went with him. Unbeknownst to the fact that day could have been the last of everything. Everything was fine and I was holding on to the railing gazing at the vast blue sea with my hair blown by the breeze that was caressing my face and a smile plastered on my face. For a moment, just a brief second I felt the bliss I missed so much since my childhood. I was at peace but short-lived. Eric called out to me and when I turned I was faced with a gun pointed at me. Fear overcame me and my heart started pounding so fast. Confusion and bewilderment plagued my mind but one thing was certain and that was Eric was going to kill me. I thought of asking what, why when, and how and to also beg for my life but I dismissed the thought. I didn't want to know why my husband was betraying me and moments away from killing me. I was more focused on the thought that after so many years of loneliness and suffering I was going to see my mom and dad. Strangely so I was ready to die even at the hands of my shameless so-called husband. Thank God he didn't taunt me to death before the actual death and he pulled the damn trigger. The bullet pierced my abdomen and I must say it hurt like a b***h. Blood profusely spilled out of me and with it draining my life. Some came out of my mouth and the taste was not appealing at all, if only I was a vampire. I looked at him one more time and I assumed it was his first rodeo because his expression was not of contentment but rather shock. I wanted my eyes to haunt him or at least I hoped.
With the last strength in my body, I when over the railing and threw myself overboard. I was not going to let him have the opportunity to present my dead body to anyone that had him kill me. I wanted the see to carry me away and as I submerged under the sea, happy memories played in my head reckoning me closer and closer to death. I was at peace or I would have been if I was not saved and yanked from death's door.
It seemed like it was not time to see them again because I had to settle matters with the living. Story of my past life, I survived to tell it.