The Last Letter

42

Chapter XLII

He gently pushed me on the ground. He was above me now, staring intently into my eyes. He kissed me on the lips lightly and I find it so adorable and cute. He then went again for my neck, I was holding tightly on his jet black hair pushing him more on to me. I swear, I do not know anything about things like this that we are doing now like kissing and etc., it was as if my body is being controlled right now

I moaned and moaned and called for August’s name without me knowing. Maybe that’s just how it is when anyone is in this kind of situation.

I felt his hands sliding inside my shirt. That gesture made my whole body feel so hot. He laid his warm hands on top of my stomach, slowly making his way on my lower back, pushing my body against his. He reached for lips and kissed me passionately, but more aggressively than before. While we kiss, he unbuttons his polo shirt.

Halfway on fully unbuttoning his shirt, he stopped his lips from moving and he suddenly sat down revealing his bare chest in front of me. I looked away but he looked at me confused and his eyes widened. He gasped and stared at me.

“Oh my God Suzanne! What have we done?” He exclaimed and scratched his head vigorously.

I was left lying down with my face confused and disappointed. Disappointed because everything we did actually felt good. But I agree, what have we done?

He buttoned up his shirt again and helped me to sit back up. He hugged me so tight and it felt so genuine.

“I’m sorry Suzanne, we shouldn’t have done that this early in our relationship. My mind went blank, I didn’t know what I was doing. I’m really sorry.” He said with evidence of fear in his voice.

“No August, I’m okay. Don’t worry.” I replied as I fixed my face and my clothes. If August hadn’t come to his senses, no one knows how this night would end for the both of us. Just like how I know him, he is really nice and a gentleman. How many good traits does this man have?

I opened the snacks that were lying on the floor and arranged them on the picnic mat so we could eat now. I immediately felt cold after what we did but I set a distance between me and August so we wouldn’t do that again.

I’m afraid that if we continue where we left earlier, we might end up doing something we might regret later on. Sure, it felt good now but will it feel like this for a long time?

***

The night went so unbelievably fast. After that quite hot moment we had, we ate the snacks he bought and had fun and light conversation but at some time, we also talked about something serious.

If August didn’t instinctively check his watch, we wouldn’t know it was already past 9pm. During those hours we were together, I told him everything that happened in the village, at my grandpa’s house and the sudden decision for me to quit my job.

He felt so bad for leaving me alone that day. And if he hadn’t left me alone, I wouldn’t have to be in such a dangerous situation. I told him that I was fine and it wasn’t his fault which is true. He just wanted some time for himself and I respect that. He apologized so much that I actually felt sorry that I made him overthink because of not talking to him that monday.

We hugged each other tightly to console each other. We settled on not talking about that incident again. What matters is that Joshua is in safe hands now and I am okay now too. There’s nothing left to worry about.

We also held hands until we reached my dormitory. We couldn’t risk anyone seeing us together at this hour. Malicious rumors might spread that could break August’s clean reputation in the university.

We also talked about Benjamin and I couldn’t believe what he told me.

August said that Benjamin still has feelings for me. It never changed and in fact, it grew more and more as we got close again. August was having second thoughts of telling Benjamin that we are now dating, it would definitely hurt Benjamin’s feelings for sure. He was so afraid that this might be a form of betrayal to their lifelong friendship since August always knew about Benjamin’s feelings for me.

But then August said that he knows Benjamin as a very understanding and considerate guy. There is a small chance he’ll accept August’s and my relationship. I just hope he’s right. August also reassured me that no matter what happens between him and his best friend, he’ll fight for what we feel for each other. August will accept every harsh word he might hear from Benjamin but he won’t ever give me up.

That night, when I was laying on my bed, I started to think about Benjamin and what might happen in the future if he discovers I have an intimate relationship with his best friend. I was thinking of so many possibilities, both negative and positive.

Before going to sleep, I prayed for everyone, especially August and Benjamin. I thanked God for this awesome day he has given to me and I hope August and I will stay together like this until the end. I miss August already, I want to be in his arms again.

***

August’s POV

I love Suzanne. God knows I really do.

That night, that kiss under the moonlight, it might sound cliche but nothing could ever beat how happy I was. The first kiss lasted for seconds only but my heart couldn’t calm down after.

And then when she told me she likes me, my heart jumped out of happiness inside my chest. It was the best feeling ever.

That hot and steamy kiss we had that I couldn’t help to stop, was the time I realized how much I am crazy about this girl. It was the first time I felt this way on someone. It was also my very first kiss, Suzanne should know. Everything around us happened really fast, if I hadn’t stopped myself from taking off my shirt, we would’ve gotten into something dangerous. I’m so grateful that Suzanne didn’t find me creepy because of everything I did and said while we did our little “thing”.

We spend our remaining time having conversation about anything light to some serious stuff. She told me everything that happened this past few days, which answered all the questions inside my head.

I dropped her off near the university to avoid anyone seeing us together at this late hour. I couldn’t risk anything that might cause malicious rumors about us. Even if it might seem like a cowardly move, I encouraged Suzanne to keep our relationship to everyone. Everyone, especially Ben. Thankfully, she had the same thought so we settled on it.

After dropping her off near her dormitory, I walked on my way home. Well, I left my bike inside the university so I have no choice but to walk. Plus, it would be a nice time to walk around since it was really cold tonight but my heart feels warm.

As I got home, I took a quick and cold shower, changed into my comfortable clothes and went directly to my bed. I think I spent every bit of my energy, I didn’t even have to eat dinner since I do not have the appetite. I feel like my body was beaten up, maybe it’s a sign that I need to do more exercises.

What happened earlier between us suddenly flashed in my mind as I stared at the cold and dark ceiling of my room. I can’t help but giggle and roll to my bed like a stupidly in love guy. If everyone sees me right now, everyone would think that I look so dumb. But I’m so sorry, just thinking of Suzanne makes me so crazy. I want to wrap my arms around her right now at this moment and if possible, I want to wake up with her beside me everyday. Oh wow, I’m really thinking of what might happen in the future already, at this stage of dating.

But… I’m dating Suzanne now! Everything was like a dream but for Suzanne, there’s no turning back. I love that girl so much.

This is really the time of the night that I am always thinking of her and some stuff. You know the feeling of thinking about something at night, when everything is dark, you’ll suddenly remember good and bad memories. So either you feel reminiscent or you’ll feel regretful.

Memories that I made with Suzanne comprise almost all of it, being good memories. We only fought jokingly and because of really small things. Other than that, I only remember good memories of the three of us, Me, Suzanne, and Ben.

To be continued…