untamed feelings

18

MAIYRA'S POV

People die but memories don't. 

The memories are like a sky full of stars, so beautiful yet unreachable. We can look at them and smile but couldn't complete the urge to get closer to them. 

Maybe that's what the memories hold. The power to put the heart in craving.

Rehan was no exception. He was missing the old memories. Those beautiful memories of her sister and Zara. 

I couldn't imagine the pain of his broken soul. His heart was still caged in the past. That past which had the memories but still they were dark.

Now everything is clicking in place. Rehan was still that ten year old boy who unintentionally was responsible for the death of his sister. It was his parents who had built the emotion of self hatred in him. They had made the mind of a child to believe that he killed his sister. Due to Rehan, his sister died but he hadn't killed her. And when Zara committed suicide than it all triggered to him. That child in Rehan was back and again believed that he killed Zara.

Words are the most powerful weapon to hurt someone and maybe all his life, Rehan had felt that hurt. First from his parents than from Max.

He was still that child who was scared of everyone leaving him and hating him.

This love is something strange. Apart from being the most beautiful emotion, it can create a tragedy. 

Zara had loved Rehan enough, even more than her life. She only wanted some of love in return. After reading her letter for Rehan, one thing I was sure that every person hold stories. Now when she herself was nothing but a story, her life was much more than that.

Rehan had gathered so much demons in his heart that they all have stopped him from letting his past go.

He had buried this much pain in his heart. 

The pain of a twelve year old who unintentionally caused his sister's death, the pain of craving of the family bonding, the pain of physical and mental abuse, the pain of watching hatred in his parents eyes for him. 

The time where other children of his age were feeling the love from their family, he was feeling the agony of hatred towards him. 

And here I was complaining that I had craved for the family bonding. I had just felt emptiness but he had felt hatred. 

The child inside Rehan was still blaming himself.

" Wow, is this your home, daddy?" 

Drew's little voice brought me back to reality. Rehan nodded after pulling him into his arms as we entered into the hallway.

My heart melted at the sight of both Drew and Rehan. They both looked so cute together. Finally Drew has got his father. I can tell by the shine in his eyes that how much happy he is to be in his father's arm.

Rehan was excited too. I can not even express the happiness which was visible in his eyes.

" Daddy you know mommy had told me that my parents were not with me because they were busy in creating a home for me. Is this is that home which you both have created for me?" Drew asked in his innocent voice.

My heart fluttered at him calling me 'mommy'. I was already attached to him in a motherly way but still this feeling of him addressing me as his mother was beautiful.

If today Vishal was in front of me than I would have thanked him all over again for arranging my marriage. If it was not him than I would have never found these two wonderful gifts, one my husband and other this cute Drew. 

I have not given birth to him but still I will always love him like my real child. This little kid deserves every happiness of the world. Drew will always get that parental love for which I and Rehan had craved in our childhood.

" Yes Drew." 

I smiled and shifted my gaze to Rehan who was also smiling at Drew, absentmindedly.

Now I know that with Drew and me by his side, Rehan will be able to move from his past. Drew will be his hope and there's only thing I can do. I will make him believe that I love him even though he's scared of love. My love will be enough for both of us. I will give his heart a break from all his demons.

" Sweety, would you go and have a look of your new house? Your mommy and daddy needs something important to talk." 

Smiling, I said and he quickly nodded.

" Okay."

Rehan placed him on his feet and after sending a cute smile in my direction, he rushed away.

I took Rehan's arm and walked to our room. He simply followed me and sat on the bed with his feet dangling down the bed.

" Max and you had a private conversation, that's great. He would be a better Man for you than I was ever." 

He said with a broken smile. I tried to search any hint of anger or jealousy over his face but nothing was there. It was like he meant those words.

" Max is like a brother to me." 

I whispered and exhaled a little shaky breath. This was not the way I wanted to start our conversation but the sad look in his eyes were not serving a proper thoughts in my mind. He simply fixed his eyes on the mattress like I wasn't even present in this room. 

After licking my dried lips, I took few steps and sat next to him in same position as him. Our side knees were touching, bringing a small amount of comfort. He still didn't looked at me but this time neither did I.

" I don't hate you, Rehan." I uttered.

" I had killed my sister, I had killed Zara. And you're saying that you don't hate me?"

" I don't hate you."

I added and cupped his face to make him look at me. Our eyes connected, from black to brown. He blinked in disbelief but I didn't let him think otherwise. I nodded, conforming him.

" Leave me please, just leave me."

He sounded forced, as if he was against his own words. I shook my head and leaned in till our lips were pressed against each other. First the touch was cool but than as I moulded my lips into him, the warmth spread. The fire ignited in me but when I felt him still, I removed my lips. Just one look of him and my heart scattered all over again. His eyes were filled with tears but this time the reason behind them was foreign to me. 

My fingers itched to wipe his tears away and the second I did, I couldn't stop myself from releasing the tears. In that moment, it was like I was feeling his pain. My lips tremble but surprisingly, he stilled them with the touch of his own. 

There was nothing like kiss, it was just a simple peck which instantly took all my pain away.

" I hate myself." He clenched his eyes shut and exhaled a small amount of breath.

" I hate mys-"

I put my index finger on his lips, shutting him off. His warm breath hit my cold finger and just like that, I couldn't help but feel the pain of a person in front of me.

" I love you." I breathed out. 

His breathing stilled. His face broke into various conflict, dominated with the emotion of guilt. I bite the corner of my lips and gently placed my palm over the fabric of his shirt in chest region. The nerves of my fingers were able to feel the wild rate of his beating heart.

" I'll never be able to love you." He chocked out and hide his eyes from mine. His heart beat fasten and he fisted his fingers. If I was unaware of his past than his statement might have broken my heart, I would have shed tears but not now. Not now when I know the reason why, he can't love me.

" Than don't. My love for you would be enough for both of us." He shook his head and placed his palm over mine which was on his heart. His contact evoked a new shiver in me, making my heart skip a beat.

" I-I had done sins for which I will never be able to forgive myself." 

He explained, clenching my fingers.

" Rehan, I don't hate you not because I love you but because there's nothing to hate about you. I agree that because of you, your sister died but you didn't killed her. It was an accident. Just let go of that little Rehan who is still blaming himself, just let him go.

And one more thing, I am also a woman and I can understand the pain through which Zara had gone. So if it was your fault for her death than believe me, I would have been able to forgive you. 

So will you take a chance and make peace with your past?" 

I looked at him hopefully but still nothing changed in his lifeless eyes.

" I can't."

I sighed in defeat. If this was how he's going to react than his guilt will never get over. He has to make peace with his past.

" You've to, okay? You've to, not for you, not for me but for our little Drew. For him you've to move on. You said that you'll never treat your child like the way your father did, right? But for that Rehan, you've to love Drew and for being able to love him, you need to stop hating yourself and that would be only possible if you will release the guilt from you." 

He stared at me as if he was thinking something and that's what the only expression I needed to make him believe the truth.

" Now you've greater responsibilities, now you've Drew. Do you want him also to crave for his father's love, just like you did? No right? Drew is your hope. For him, fight with your demons to let your heart free. You will never be able to love him till you hate yourself and why do you have to hate yourself Rehan? You're not bad, you couldn't be. Your wife and your child loves you, with that love, start building the new future. I will always be your side."

I let my heart out and that's when a small ray of hope sparked in his eyes. He pressed his eyes shut, exhaled a deep breath than again looked into my eyes but this time with a soft smile touching the corner of his lips.

" For Drew." 

He nodded at my words.

" I will try but you've to promise me that whenever I try to go back to my past, you will be there to pull me back." 

I smiled through my heart and mouthed "Always."

He smiled through his cheeks, revealing his cute dimples on the show.

" Say that again." He demanded.

" What?" I asked in confusion but when he gave me that shy smile with a blush creping upto his neck, I clearly understood that what he wanted me to say again, so I did.

" I love you."

" Again."

" I love you."

" Once again."

" I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."

He smiled and slowly removed my palm over his chest which I forgot that I had placed. He then pointed his index finger towards it's heart and something which almost took my breath away.

" Say it again, it feels good here."

" I love you, Rehan." 

I said and leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek but he moved his face and instead sealed our lips into a passionate kiss. This was different from all the kisses we had shared because this time, there were no demons in our heart. It was something pure and ecstatic.

" Thank you for coming into my life and turning it into beautiful reality." He exclaimed happily, resting his forehead on mine.

" I want to sleep." 

And here comes Drew. I laughed when Rehan startled at his sudden voice and made a face.

Drew jumped on the bed and put his head on my lap whilst playing with my fingers. Rehan rolled his eyes and lied on his back with his arms crossed beneath his head.

" Drew is just like you, always bad timing." 

Rehan said to me making me laugh all over again at his scowled expression.

Nothing could be more perfect.

At this moment, everything felt right.

A/N

So how was this chapter?

And are you happy for super fast update?

I have already written these chapters so I thought why not give you all a little surprise.

Bdw let me inform you that only 2 more chapters are left in this book. :)