untamed feelings

17

REHAN'S POV

She went with Max for having some private conversation. I shouldn't feel this uneasiness right? She might have wanted to talk about Zara after all Maiyra and Max both are close to each other, aren't they? Till now Maiyra must be hating me just like Max. She's pure hearted and after she became aware of my past, she has no choice but to hate me. After all how can I expect her to not hate me when I already hate myself?

Maiyra will never want to live with a murder. She must be thinking how sick I am, she must be cursing herself for being my wife, she must be feeling shame to think of me as her husband.

Now, she will divorce me but it isn't like I am complaining. In fact I deserve it. Than she will move to her new life with Max. 

They will stay together and laugh at me whenever we'll cross each other's path.

Max must be making her agree to be with him. But it is good. Deep inside I know that Max will be better man for my Maiyra.

My Maiyra? Wake up Rehan, she's no longer yours.

They both will one day get married and have children then live happily. Max will always make her happy.

" Who are you?" I blinked twice, coming out of my thoughts. My eyes fell on the same little boy who was few minutes ago calling Maiyra.

Is this Max's child? But how is that possible?

I sat on my knees, matching with his height and passed a smile at him. He touched my cheeks with his little fingers and smiled back. 

I watched him in aw as he ran his fingers over my subtle. He seemed familiar as if I have already watched that cute smile on his face.

" What's your name?

" Drew and yours?"

" Rehan." I replied, running finger through his hairs.

He scrunched up his nose and for a second my mind stopped working. 

Why his face seems familiar? 

I observed his face for another moment. Holy f*ck! How can he look like me?

I brushed that thought off and stood up, my eyes still stealing glances of my wrist watch. It had been quite a time since they gone upstairs. I am sure till now, they both have agreed to spent their rest of life together.

My heart fell into the pit of my stomach as the sudden wave of nausea hit me. I need something to block this feeling. This is too much for my brain to think Maiyra with someone else. 

Alcohol, drug, anything, just anything to feel empty and not to feel this heart clenching feeling.

" Rehan? Will you please turn the T.V on?" 

I nodded absentmindedly and did as he said.

A huge smile formed on his face and he took a hold of my wrist with his tiny fingers. Then he gestured me to sit on the couch, next to him. Although I was feeling suffocated from inside but there was something about this little child which was forcing me to smile.

" I remember you. You were the one to give ice creams to the children in park, right?" 

He laughed and jumped on the couch after grabbing the remote.

" You were there, too?" I asked in surprise and he nodded whilst fixing his eyes on the cartoon which was playing on T.V.

" You know, uncle Max always wants me to study. I love him but he's so boring." He pouted.

Uncle Max? That means he isn't Max's child. But than who is he?

" Rehan, let's go." Maiyra came and offered me her hand.

Her eyes were filled with tears and the way she called my name, it was enough for me to know that she's been crying. 

Did Max has hurt her? No. No. Why would he? He's far better than me. 

My fingers itched to reach up to wipe her tears away but instead I let her to interlock our fingers together. A relief passed through my mind after her touch but reminding myself that she's going to leave me, I stood up.

" Aw. You two are going?" Drew whined.

" Sorry." Maiyra whispered and bend to place a kiss on his cheek.

My heart warmed at the sight of Maiyra passing a sweet smile to Drew. Indeed she loves little kids.

" Maiyra, wait." Max came running down the stairs.

He than came forward to grab her wrist and pull her aside. I clench my fist to stop myself from pushing his hand away from my wife. How dare he to touch her? A wild rage filled my mind but after watching the smile on her face, I silently let her hand go which she had connected with me, earlier.

" I am sorry, please forgive me. Just give me a chance to fix everything." Max said, looking into her eyes.

Why he's apologizing? And the chance? What does that mean? I rubbed my finger together and let myself believe that maybe they are perfect for each other. Max will always make her smile, like he was doing now.

Max looked at me than at Drew. I thought that he was going to warn that child to maintain distance with me but instead he did something which shocked me, completely. He came forward to hug me.

" I am sorry Rehan."

I stood there in confusion and somehow my eyes fell on Maiyra, who was smiling wholeheartedly. What's happening?

" Drew, come here champ." He said, once he stepped back and quickly he took Drew up in his arms.

" You want to meet your daddy?" He asked and Drew eyes went wide in surprise and all he did was to give a huge nod.

" He's your father." He pointed his index finger towards me, making the floor slip beneath my feet.

What?

I blinked in confusion and a sudden scream of happiness erupted from that kid. For a minute, I felt as if I was hallucinating.

" Yay. The cool Rehan is my daddy."

" WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU SAYING MAX?" I yelled feeling confused.

My head started throbbing as if it was going to explode. The whole room went silent after my outburst and I stared at Max for explanation. He didn't said anything just sighed with a guilt covering his eyes.

" Rehan, calm down. You're scaring Drew." Maiyra spoke, breaking the icy silence and than only I saw Drew, hiding in his uncle's arm.

I ducked my head low and pinched the bridge of my nose.

" Uncle Max, does my daddy don't love me?"

" No baby, your daddy loves you a lot. He's just stressed." Maiyra added.

" Rehan, if possible than forgive me. I was stupid to not realize that it was never your fault." Max put Drew down on the couch and pulled me away from him.

" I lied. I lied that Zara had a miscarriage. I am sorry but after she suicide, I just needed someone to put blame on so that I can feel less pain. I thought that you don't deserve your own child..I- S-Sorry."  

He whispered and the only emotion detectable on his eyes was guilt but I didn't stressed about that because my mind was already trying to adjust the information it have just gained.

Zara never had a miscarriage? 

I-I have a child?

My eyes went to Drew who was now busy in watching cartoon. Everything froze. There was that heaviness in my chest which was lifting down as I watched him. 

That's why he was looking so similar because he's m-my own child? That child which I thought was dead? 

At the moment, what I felt was unexplainable in words. It was like my heart was filled with enormous amount of happiness.

With heavy steps, I walked to him. He looked at me curiously but still in excitement. I placed my shaking fingers on his cheeks. A new emotion flickered in my heart and I pulled him into my arms, securely because I was scared that it might be just dream and when I will open my eyes, everything will fade away.

"Daddy, are you mad at me? Please don't be, I promise, I will always be a good bye." He spoke in a childish voice and at that time I found my childhood in him.

I used to cry in front of my father and mother to just treat me the way every children are treated with their parents. I wanted their love, attention, care, time but all they offered me was hatred. Just like today Drew had said in the same way I used to beg in front of my parents to give me little love. I never asked for more but they never even given me a bit.

But I will never treat my Drew like them. I will give him everything for which I have craved.

" No, I am not mad at you." 

I placed several kisses on his face and again hugged him.

" Daddy can I live with you? I mean uncle Max is cool but I want to live with you and mommy like my friends do." 

I nodded and took him in my arms.

" Rehan, will you not forgive me?"

" I don't need to forgive you Max because you were right at your place. I have no hard feelings for you instead I should be the one to ask for forgiveness but Max, think from Drew's point of view. Don't you think that because of your hatred, he was the one to suffer most?" 

He nodded quietly and tried to say something but failed, miserably.

I smiled and after putting Drew on his feet, I hugged Max. 

" Return me my best friend back, please."

" Only if you promise me to take care of Drew and never let him crave for his father's attention like we did."

" I promise, Max."

" Yay, daddy and Uncle Max are friends but daddy where is my mommy?" 

Drew asked and suddenly everyone went silent.

How can I tell him that I was the one because of whom, her mother was no more?

Max stayed still and so did I but Maiyra asked Max to open Zara's picture in his cellphone and give it to her. Max hesitantly gave his cellphone to her by putting Zara's picture in display.

" Drew, she was your mommy. Her name was Zara but you know she couldn't come here because she's with god." She said softly whilst handing him Max's cellphone.

" That means I have no mommy?" 

He was just about to cry when Maiyra smiled and said " Your mommy really loves you but as she couldn't come to meet you that's why she has sent another mommy for you."

" Who?"

" Hmm. Guess. You already know her and her name starts with M."

" Wow. Uh- Yay Maiyra, you're my another mommy, do you?" 

Maiyra nodded her head and instantly Drew started clapping her hands and showered kisses on her face.

My heart skipped a beat and all I could feel was a pure respect for that woman. My woman. How easily she had accepted Drew as her own child? If any one else was at her place than she would have definitely tried to run away from such situation.

" You're really lucky to have her." 

Max spoke low enough that only I can hear him but just like that my smile turned upside down.

Why she did that when she's soon going to leave me?

A/N

I am sorry for the late update. Hope I am forgiven?

And can you guys please check out my another book " MARRIED TO MR. CRIMINAL" ?

And one more thing please read the next  chapter. There's a surprise for all the writers.