Behind the bars there is peace

Hi, they call me Grecc, but my original name is Lavender. I dont like people knowing my real name, or anything about my past. I was in jail for 14 years. Crazy I know. why was I in jail? Well my father was a driver of one of the biggest d**g dealers in town. He was never home alot. so it was me and my mother mostly. I had a baby sister and brother who at the time were 2. they were twins. me and my mum were extremely close. when I was 5 I heard a conversation between my parents. my mum saying my dad cant keep on borrowing money from the "boss". my dad said he would pay it off and then my mum yelled " WITH WHICH MONEY JEREMY!! THE REASON YOU BORROWED THE MONEY WAS BECAUSE WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY. WE WOULD IF YOU JUST STOPPED WITH THE D**GS. WE HAVE 1 DAY LEFT TO PAY IT OFF AND I DONT WANT ANYTHING BAD TO HAPPEN TO THE KIDS OR I SWEAR..." relax my father said. I know what I have to do. I heard him walk towards the door and I ran to my room. I heard him leave the house. it was 1AM in the morning. what is that man up to I thought. the next day after school me and my mum made cookies, as usual and had a good time. it was a normal day you could say. But what am about to tell you next I remember in detail and not in a good way. It was 11pm when I heard a knock from the door. I woke up and went to the kitchen. and to my surprise this huge man I had never seen before entered. he whispered something to my mum and my mum said they are in the room. at once I ran to my room as quite as could be. I went under the bed. this man entered the room and took my siblings with them. I could tell he never knew there were more than two kids. the twins were five now. I was eight. I saw the man take my sleeping siblings to the car and drove off. I then heard this man barge in the house. I quickly ran to see what was going on. my husband isn't around my mum said. it was him, the big boss. am not here for him darling. am here for you. you cant do that my mum said. well darling your husband said that he never had the money to pay us back so we could have your for the night. so won't you be a doll and let us enjoy the night? at once my mother hit him with a pan, what a woman. she hit him with all her might until I saw these men grab hold of her I ran out saying leave my mum alone. Lavender stay back, run atleast she screamed. but I never listened. what a pretty girl he said. he wanted to touch my face and I bit him. I was mad. I could tell he was under the influence of something. demons maybe. the hit his weapon on my mother's head and he lost consciousness. the then tied me up and let me watch what he would do to my mom. he removed her clothes and teased her body, he inserted his p**is in her and r***d her. he shot her multiple times after that. he then r***d me and shot me too, only difference is I wasn't dead.... but mum was. I crawled to her and remember her last words" I love you, and see you up above". my mother was a dedicated Christian and I knew she had a place in heaven. she closed her eyes and so did I.i woke up in the hospital failing to say a word, trauma the doctor said. my dad was there. but by then I didn't process what he did. when I did I had this hate for him,it burned like a million volcanoes. my dad became extra nice to me and it only made my hate for him more. 3 months after the incident my dad came late from work. he had later gotten an office job and we moved to an area with more people. when he came home he never knew his 8 year old had a surprise for him. he entered the house and I sat there waiting to give him his food as usual. after 5 minutes he got up to go to his room just to find me in the hall with a weapon. I never heard what he said all i could hear was mums voice. I aimed for his head and bam he was on the ground. I got a sharp object and cut of the same tool he used to made me, it still leaves a smile on my face when I remember that night. I used the sharp weapon until I was covered in blood. the police had come five minutes later to find a dead man in the hall and his 8 year old in the TV room holding his p**is watching Dora the Exploerer. I was arrested for murder and did some years. when I was pardoned I went to kill the d**g dealer and all the people there at that night. I later went back to jail but It wasn't as serious cause i killed a most wanted criminal. I came out of jail 5 days ago and to be honest I will miss the place. but I swore on my mums dead body that no one will ever call me babydoll or Levender again.