That's not who I am!

Chapter 21

LIAM'S POV

"So we are all in agreement. We pay the prick off. Then all the money from the house goes to Jane" I say

"Yes, but we also have our inside man have a little word that he has nothing else to do with Jane or his solicitor. I'm not playing with the cunt" Luke says

"I'll have your mum have a restraining order set up as well. Plus have Jack see what else he can do. But it's time he leaves our girl alone" My dad says standing up from the seat in my office.

"For sure. Also I'm buying Jane a house local. She wants a safe haven incase things continue to go badly. I want her to feel reassured that it's all good. But I also think we Layla needs to be the one to gift this to make her feel more at ease or mum and dad" I say

"Thats fine with me" My dad says "Me to, I already gave her the phone this morning what she doesn't know though is I do have access to everything. I'm not snooping and I won't listen to the therapy calls etc but I will just be alerted to new number calling and messaging that way if anyone gets hold of this phone details who shouldn't we will know straight away. I'm not having that bullshit hallen again" Luke says

"Okay, I won't say anything but I promised I wouldn't keep anything from Jane so if she asks I can't lie either" I say

"Thats okay I can live with that" Luke says

"Okay, I really need to get to this meeting. Your still joining via video chat yeah?" my dad asks "Yeah, go ahead I think we covered everything" I say.

JANE'S POV

I wake up screaming from a nightmare and I'm surpised I fell asleep watching Christmas movies on the sofa.

Cara comes rushing in just as I stop screaming my heart is pounding and I'm covered in sweat.

"Sorry, I had a nightmare. They. It was from when they attacked me. I didn't realise I fell asleep watching TV" I say with my hand on my chest as I mentally try to tell myself to get it together.

"It's okay, I understand. I remember the nightmares well. There get easier" Cara says.

"It's the first one I've had, I hope i don't have anymore" I say sitting up straighter. "Well you usually have Liam with you when you sleep. It's because you feel safe and you trust him you can sleep nightmare free. I was the same with Aaron" Cara says

"How did you know that it was okay to trust Aaron not to break you all over again?" I ask

"I didn't know, I just decided I'd have to take the leap of faith one day. Nothing is certain in life everything is a gamble. But Aaron he did everything possible to win me round. I knew that even of it didn't work out he wouldn't break me on purpose. So I decided he was worth the risk" Cara says

"Your right nothing is certain. I know that really. But did you wait until you were healed?" I ask.

"Getting with Aaron healed me. Only you can decide Jane. I see your little head ticking over the more time you spend with Liam the more you question when. It's not even a matter of should I anymore. You want to know when is the right time. Only you can decide that. I think he helps heal you already I mean you don't have nightmares when Liam is with you" Cara says

"I think your right, I didn't think of it that way. Surely it would be wrong to expect someone else to heal me though" I say

"Sometimes people need others to heal and that's okay" Cara says

"Do you think I'm one of them people?" I ask.

"Honestly yes and no. I think you can do it alone but I think your find it easier with people around you. I think if you were to give Liam a chance he would definitely help you in your healing stage" Cara says and I appreciate her honesty.

"I think your right if I'm really honest with myself. But I just feel bad for thinking that" I say "Don't feel bad. It's time you allowed people to help you" Cara says

"I think that's what my parents ment when I nearly died. They want me to lean on others. I know I'm tired of trying to survive alone that's for sure. If I hadn't come here I k ow I wouldn't be here right now. I think I should talk to Liam though" I say

"I think your right" Cara says

"I'm going to have a shower. I'm okay thankyou for answering my questions it's helped" I say

"I'm glad I could help. Enjoy your shower dinner will be ready in a hour" Cara says

"Okay" I say getting up and I head up to my room to get showered and changed. All the while thinking over everything me and Cara just spoke about. Maybe I have been thinking about it wrong all along. Maybe just maybe I need someone to help me heal what I didn't break either. Maybe Laim could be that. But is it fair that's the real question.

Once in showered I get into some leggings still not comfortable with jeans after the operation and a big woolen jumper. I'm so cold these days. Then I decide to go see if Liam is busy or not for a quick chat before dinner.

I knock the door to his office where he said he had to work from all day today.

"Come in" I hear and I open the door poking my head round I see Liam sat at his desk as he says "That won't work. We need to over haul the whole system"

"I get that but it's going to take time" Someone says

"Sorry, its not important" I say going to exit the room but he waves me in covering his mic he says "It's fine, come sit with me" so I slowly walk in and he stands up to sit on his desk as he points to the chair people are talking but I don't pay much attention to what they say

"Now that will work. But it just needs to be done quicker" Liam says as I take a seat then I hear Aaron say "Alright let's wrap this up lads my wife is going to be fuming that I won't be home in time for dinner as it is"

I look at the clock and see we have twenty minutes "Nope it's gonna be ready in twenty minutes" I say

"See my daughter knows, twenty minutes guys and it takes me half hour to drive back. Wrap it up" Aaron says and I go wide eyed. Liam laughs at me as he balances his laptop on his lap then says "Okay can you narrow the time frame down by a month if so I think we have a deal"

"That we can do" Someone says

"Great have the paperwork sent over and we have a deal.. dad I'll let mum know your be home late and it's my own fault. Don't worry" Liam says

"Thanks son. See ya soon sweetie Cara messaged me saying you and a rough afternoon. So just relax" Aaron says

"Bye dad" Liam says and then he shuts the laptop. "What's wrong?" Liam asks moving the laptop aside.

"I'm okay" I say "bad afternoon what happened?" Liam asks

"I had a nightmare" I say "Oh baby girl, I'm sorry I should of been with you" Liam says taking my hand in his.

"It's okay, your mum came rubbing bless her. Then we chatted, which brings me here" I say

"Okay, then let's talk I'm all ears" Liam says

"So your mum and I were talking after I had some questions. Long story short we were talking about how some people do or don't need others to help them heal after things happen. But I was thinking that's a selfish thing to do.. but I always realised I can't just decide I'm selfish to someone else if I think maybe that is what I may need. I don't know if I need it. But that again would be taking a leap of faith. I don't know.. everything is a leap of faith everything is a gamble. But in my hearts of hearts I know I'll likely never fully be healed. Your likely be fixing pieces of me if I took a gamble. Does that make sense?" I say

"It does, I don't mind fixing you baby girl. I'd rather help you than watch you struggle alone. Your right everything is a gamble but I can tell you I'd never go out of my way to hurt you. I can't say I will be perfect but if you gave me a chance I promise if I do mess up at any point I'd of not gone out my way to do so" Liam says

"I actually know that strangely enough. I also realised today that your already fixing tiny fragments of me there's still billions to go but you alongside everyone else are helping me fix myself and its okay to not need to fix myself alone. If it wasn't for everyone I'd not be here now still trying" I say

"Good, I'm glad your still here and I'm glad we can help fix you baby girl" Liam says

"We should get to dinner" I say standing up

"We should get to dinner. I'm glad you came knocking that door and I'm even happier your asking questions" Liam says standing up as he takes my hand he kisses my cheek.

After dinner I decided to teach Layla a few new dance moves..

"Do you think it would be selfish if I tried dating right now?" I ask as I watch Layla repeat the move I just showed her.

"No, I think you should do it when you feel it's right. But I don't think that would be selfish why?" Layla asks.

"I think I might be ready to take a gamble on dating Liam. But I'm not sure" I say

"I think you should.. I think Liam is what you need. And I'm not just saying that because I want you two together and share this house. Your both growing closer together and well I see how he is becoming your anchor when your stressing out and scared. I see how you look for him. I see how he looks for you. I see how you both just relax when your together you help ground Liam as much as he grounds you. You both spiral when the other person is away. Liam isn't even his cocky self anymore trying to win you over he is just being Liam the real Liam who adores you I will add" Layla says

"I did notice that he isn't so big headed anymore. He doesn't tell me how we will date instead he shows his patient side" I say

"So do you think it will be worth the gamble?" Layla asks

"I do" I say

"Do you think he will treat you right?" Layla asks

"I do" I say

"Do you want to?" Layla asks

"I do, it's me who is messed up" I say

"Oh hush, Liam doesn't care he loves you. I think your ready and you just answered all your own questions. Have you spoke to Liam about it?" Layla asks

"Yes, he said he would happily fix me" I say

"Well then what's stopping you?" Layla asks

"I need my own house. I need a back up plan a safety net. I need to know I'd have you if things go bad" I say

"I'll move out with you who needs men? we can have our kids and then take them" Layla says making me laugh.

"I don't think Luke would like that" I say

"And you came first and always will he knows that" Layla says

"Okay, were buy a house as a back up plan then I'll date Liam" I say

"Phew, I'm glad you said that because I'm in the middle of a sale going through on a house up the road it's ours we need it after all they are Mafia men you can't be to careful" Layla says

"You didn't" I say

"I did and you know what luke then came to me and said we should buy you a house for Christmas so that you wouldnt move across the world. so I had to tell him I was on step ahead I mean you were my back up plan remember" Layla says and I laugh again as I say "I love you don't worry your secret is safe with me

"Good now go get your man, I need to gi make babys" Layla says