That's not who I am!

Chapter 20

JANE'S POV

My face is tear-streaked and I've been off the phone for ten minutes watching the stars.

"Don't judge me, I'm trying and look what's happening. You think I wanted this I didn't. You should of collected me not keep pushing me back here" I say praying my parents can hear me.

Then it starts raining "If that's a sign that's a pretty shitty sign. I'm still recovering you know" I say then I decide to get up and go inside thunder strikes "Alright! no need to shout" I say and lighting flashes across the sky I look up as a rumble of thunder strikes again.

"Rude much" I mutter then I continue in.

As I enter the kitchen I see everyone sat around with drinks in hands.

"If ever there was a rude sign that it" I say pointing to the sky outside. Aaron laughs and I look at him "Sorry, just reminded me the night I found you arguing with the sky.

"Yeah it's just like that night! bloody raining" I say

"I'm confused" Liam says "Layla talks to the stars to her parents" Layla says as I grab the coffee pot and make myself a drink.

"Yeah I tell them don't judge me and it starts raining so I told them that was a shitty sign and it thunders. Bloody rude. Judging me! can't they see I'm trying" Then thunder strikes followed by lightening then the lights go out.

"Thats not nice either" I shout before thunder strikes again followed by more lightening and the lights come back on.

"Okay, Imma leave you to your little arguement with your parents. Please tell them to stop messing with the lights though" Layla says

"You tell them. There angry with me" I say then the radio goes on and Dear life by Blake Wood starts to play.

"Oh yeah real good! I get it you can stop now" I shout and the radio goes off.

"So uh, your parents are mad. There haunting the house now huh?" Luke says

"Urgh, its clearly a freaking sign. I'm allowed to be mad! but let me tell you I got the message loud and clear okay. But next time someone trys to take me out I'm going into the light!" I shout and the song restarts

"Yeah, there sending you a clear ass message. I wouldn't keep arguing us parents can be persistent" Cara says

I sit at the table with my drink and then Christmas music starts playing.

"Jokers more like" I say and Aaron laughs

"They die, they f*****g die leave me with a teenage boy who turns into a jack ass! beats me gets me raped, kills someone then I nearly get killed and now they wanna show themselves after being silent. I'm mad at them to. I'm mad they left me. I'm mad!" I say then I stand up and start walking out as I shout you hear that "I'm mad to, I'm really mad at you both. You should be here! You git it easy on ya fluffy clouds while I'm here dealing with this bullshit!"

LIAM'S POV

"Yeah she's mad" I say

"Clearly raging mad" Luke says

"She's fighting everything they told her when she nearly died so now there haunting her" I say

"How do you know that?" Luke asks

"Because she told me everything they said. They want her to live she wants to die, they want her to trust people she is struggling with that, they want her to date she aint dating" I say

"Well this was fun but I'm going for a shower" My dad says standing up.

"I'm going to join Layla hoping we can make a baby" Luke says

"To much information luke, I only need to know once the baby is actually made" My mum says making us laugh.

"I should go see if Jane has calmed down" I say standing up.

I find Jane in the dance studio laid on the floor music blaring that same bloody song on repeat again. I go lay down next to her and she look at me as she lifts the remote and turns the music down.

"I know I'm crazy" Jane says

"Nah your not.. you okay?" I say

"Half left, half right and little in the middle" Jane says

"Wanna talk about it?" I ask

"Not really" Jane says

"Okay wanna dance with me?" I ask

"You want to dance?" Jane asks "Yeah why not?" I say

"Okay let's dance" Jane says sitting up she changes the song to last of my kind by shaboozey and Paul caulthen as we stand up. I take Jane's hand and spin her onto me slowly.

"You sure you want to dance with me? I'll spin circle around you?" Jane says then she literally spins around in circles all around me until we locking eyes and a lose arm goes around my neck. I pull her close with one arm around her waist as I say "Absolutely baby girl" She smile at me as we start to sway to the music a little and she says "Okay, don't say I didn't warn you" I start to laugh but suddenly my hand is being pulled as Jane spins herself out then she spins back in so her back is flushed to mine before she drops low to the floor with her knees bent her hand running down my body before she slowly stands again. My c**k is instantly stirring and what I wanted to be a sweet simple dance turns into something hot and wild. Jane walks around my body hand flowing agsint my body as she goes then she spins around in circles to the dance pole before throwing herself backwards saving herself with her leg curling the pole before she pulls herself back upright grabs the pole before slowly going down a little then dances her way all the way back to me wrapping both arms around my neck into the little sway we started out with.

"Thanks for the dance" Jane says before kissing my cheek the song ends and she goes to walk away but I grab her wrist gently bringing my baby girl back to my other hand gently cups the back of her neck as her hair flows through the tips of my finger tips.

"Baby girl your playing with fire. Dance like that again with me and I won't stop myself kiss you. Don't say you haven't been warned" I say

Jane leans up on tiptoes her mouth grazes my ear as she says "Okay, I'll make a mental note of that" Then she moves back locking eyes with me.

"I need a shower" I say before kissing my baby girls forehead.

"I'm sure you do" Jane says quietly but I hear her just.

"Go grab food, we're pig out in bed and watch TV. I'm definitely cuddling up to you tonight" I say followed by a kiss to my baby girls cheek then I leave so fast before I kiss her so hard. But as I reach the door the music stops and Jane says "What if I wanted you to kiss me just then? what if I wanted to feel anything other than sadness for a second?"

I turn back and look at my baby girl as I say "Baby girl, I'll make it clear I want to kiss you so badly but once I do your mine. You won't be a five minute wonder. Your for keeps forever. If your ready for that then tell me now if not I'm going for my shower. You decide"

She looks at me for a moment then she says "I'm not ready, I'm sorry. Go for your shower and I'll grab food" "I know baby girl, it's okay" I say and I rish off for my shower because this women is testing my dam. sanity.

Half hour in the cold shower it took for my c**k to go down and even then I caved doing a hand Jon whilst replaying that dance in my head and imagining what it will be like when I eventually have my women to make love to. Because it's not a matter of if its a matter of when. I'm sure of that even if Jane us uncertain.

I walk out of the shower in my pj bottoms hair still damp as I towel it off still Jane's already sat on the bed in her fluffy pj's and dressing gown how this women is cold all the time is beyond me. I even whacked the heating uo and she still doesn't lose any layers. cold pizza and KFC is laid out on the bed. Jane midway through a slice of pizza which in glad to see. She needs to eat more I hate how much weight she is losing and she was skinny to start with.

"How are you so confident we would work?" Jane asks as I lay on the bed next to her grabbing a slice of pizza. I'm surpised by the question. I didn't expect it.

"I'm just curious" Jane says and I realise I hadn't responded because I was lost in my surpise at the sudden question.

"Because I believe in love. I know I love you and I know you love me to. I'd do anything it took to make it work. I'd give you my life if I could just to see you smile. I knew it the moment I saw you. I know it still now. I'm not expecting it to be easy, love isn't easy, love comes with its battles but I'd fight to keep you. I'd cherish you. I know your struggle to trust in that. I know your find it the hardest but I'm asking once chance because I only need one chance. You wouldn't regret it" I say

"Thats a good answer. I use to believe in fairy tales and dream of getting married and having children. I really did, they life happened" Jane says

"You were doing life alone then. You wouldn't be doing life alone with me and I'd make them dreams come true if you gave me the chance" I say

"I need to fix me first" Jane says "I know you do baby girl" I say then we finish eating both lost in our thoughts. I'm mainly wondering what's going on inside that pretty little head of hers and how long until she will be ready though. Once we're both finished eating Jane moves the food to the bedside table before cuddling into me.

"I don't want to move out, but of we didn't get together I couldn't stay here. So I need my own house still near by. I need to feel like I have my own safe haven if things continue going badly" Jane says

"I understand that so how about we find you your own house but I don't think your need it" I say

"I had a email from the monsters solicitor he wants his share of money from the house. I feel like I should have the insurance fix it before selling for its value but at the same time I pay that insurance so I feel like I should pay the sick prick out before at the lower value then get it fixed and then sell it. Its such a headache" Jane says

"When did that email come in?" I ask

"A few weeks ago.. I don't know what to do" Jane says

"I'll sort it okay, let me sort me" I say

"I'd appreciate that. Everyone right it's all to much to deal with alone and I can't bare to even communicate with his solictor" Jane says

"Then it's sorted I'll sort it. your have your own house here no issues" I say "Thanks" Jane says as she starts running her fingers along my chest and I know she is over thinking. But I'm glad she came to me for help. I'm glad she wants me to help.