You’ve Got it Bad

Five

Perrie's POV 

When I woke up the next morning and heard music blaring from downstairs, I knew that only meant one thing. Jimmy was home, and boy did I have a few choice words for him. 

I rolled out of bed in a hurry and slid my feet into my slippers. Once I threw my robe over my shoulders and was about to storm to his room, I froze in my tracks.

What am I doing right now? I need to calm down. 

I knew that there was no way I would get through to Jimmy if I was yelling at him, and I also didn't want to risk him suspecting that I was ridiculously in love with his girlfriend.

He could be very standoffish and rude at times, but my mom always said. "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." I decided to take the nicer route in hopes that I can at least see where he stands with her.

I padded downstairs and went straight to the kitchen. I decided to make us both breakfast and try to talk to him that way. Once I finished the eggs and bacon, I went to his bedroom and knocked lightly on the door. I don't think he could hear me with the music playing so I began to pound on it.

He snatched the door open about halfway and stood there frowning at me. "What?" Was all he said and it took everything in me not to wrap my hands around his throat. 

Play nice, Perrie. 

"Hey, I made breakfast. Join me?" I smiled in return. His face softened a little and I think I even saw a slight smile. 

"I'll be right out." He closed the door and I went to set the kitchen table for the two of us. Jimmy could really be a class A asshole, but there were times when I caught him being a decent human. 

I think it's all a facade. He wants to look and act like a tough guy, but being someone you're not takes a lot of commitment and energy, and at times I can see he gets tired of it. In a way, I felt sorry for him.

Once he came out we sat down at the table and started digging in. He started shoveling food in his mouth like he hadn't eaten in days. To be honest, I don't think he has. 

"I want to ask you something, and I don't want you to get upset." I started.

He looked up from his plate and c****d one eyebrow with a mouthful of eggs. "What is it?"

"It's about Jade." I could swear that I physically saw him tense up. "It's just that we've become friends and I really lo- um care about her feelings. How do you feel about her?" I hope he didn't hear my near slip of the L word, or see me choke on the word "friends".

"She's alright." He replied, looking at his plate again.

I'm sorry, what?! Alright? Just alright?!

 My blood was boiling and I could feel my cheeks heating up. 

Did he just describe Jade as alright?! 

I took a deep breath because I didn't want him to see how his lack of emotion unraveled me.

Once I was calm enough to speak without profanities every other word, I asked him what I really wanted to know. "Do you love her?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, I guess."

You guess? One does not 'guess' if they love f*****g Jade Thirlwall. Either you do or you're dumb. That's it. 

"Do you know if she loves you?" I asked, already knowing the answer. 

"Yeah, she tells me all the time."

I tried to hide my sigh, but I'm not sure it was successful. "And do you tell her? Do you show her?"

At this point my feelings for Jade were tucked neatly away. They had no place here. This was about making sure she got the love she needed and deserved in return, because she was special and really because one-sided love sucks. Trust me, I should know.

"Why do you care?" I could tell I was making him uncomfortable, but I needed to know.

"Because she is my friend." There's that word again. Doesn't taste any better the second time. "And I need to know that she's not wasting her time."

"I show her I love her almost every night." He smirked and I wanted to throw up.

"s*x? Are you talking about s*x? Because that's not how you show love!" I raised my voice a little at the end, letting my emotions get the best of me.

"That's how I show love. If she doesn't like it well then that's on her. She can f**k off."

And there was my answer. No. He didn't love Jade. At least not the way she loved him. 

"Hey, if you don't love her the way she loves you then why don't you just let her go? There's no decency in stringing her along because you can't express your feelings." I said and again I saw him tense up.

"Who says I can't express my feelings? As I said, I express my feelings physically. And as for letting her go, not gonna happen. She belongs to me. She's mine for as long as I want her to be." He continued eating his bacon.

What the f**k? 

I dropped my fork on the table and looked directly at him. "First of all, women aren't your possessions, Jimmy. She belongs to no one except herself, and you're an ass for saying that. Secondly, if you're so sure you express your love in s*x, tell me something. Do you at least make it about her? Do you cater to her needs?" I couldn't believe I was asking this, but he had me fuming.

"It's not supposed to be about her. It's about me and my needs as a man. And yes she does belong to me. She will be mine to "love" every night until I decide we're done." He spat.

I was disgusted by the entire conversation. "You sound like a sexist asshole right now."

"Perrie, I don't really give a f**k what you think. You can be friends with Jade all you want but like I said, she belongs to me. I'm allowing it. For now. You don't even know half of what's going on, so don't get in my way and you two can stay friends. I'll sleep with who I want, I'll be with who I want and she'd better learn how to deal with it." He replied flatly.

Rage seared through me, and I'm pretty sure steam was coming from my ears. Not only is he blatantly disrespecting the woman I love, he is disrespecting women everywhere, and I can't sit here and listen to it. I stood up from the table abruptly. 

"What you are not going to do is sit here over breakfast, that I, a woman, made for you, with a stupid ass grin on your face and disrespect women like that. You are a selfish son of a b***h, and you don't deserve her or anyone else for that matter until you learn how to treat women. Nobody belongs to you and you can't just use her and as many other women as you want to pleasure yourself and then just put them back on the shelf when you're done. That's disgusting. You're disgusting." This quickly turned into a screaming match.

He stood up as well. "I can do whatever the f**k I want with whoever I want and it's in your best interest if you keep that pretty little mouth shut, sis! Before I close it up for you!"

I stepped around the table to be face to face with him. My jaw was clenched and my fists were balled up at my sides. I was trying so hard to contain my anger but it was boiling over. "If you think I'm scared of you Jimmy, you have another thing coming."

He came toe to toe with me with his fists balled up as well. "Good because I like it when my women at least try to fight back."

"Wait, what? Do you hit her?" I asked and he ignored me. "Do you f*****g hit her, Jimmy?!" I yelled.

"As I said, you should mind your f*****g business. You're making s**t a lot worse for her!" He yelled.

That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled back my right arm and swung a fist, landing it right across the left side of his face. He stumbled backwards with a surprised look on his face, but quickly swung back, hitting my lip and causing it to bleed. I charged at him again, this time kneeing him in his most sensitive area. 

I threw punches at his head as he doubled over in pain and screamed. "Ahhhh! You b***h!" Before I knew it he was charging at me with both hands out. He wrapped his hands around my neck and I fell back onto the table. 

He continued to choke me as I writhed and clawed at him trying to get air. I felt around the table for anything, because honestly I was beginning to see stars. My hand landed on a fork and I was getting ready to place it right in his back when I heard the shrieks of a familiar voice.

"Stop it now!" It was my mom. She grabbed at his arms but he was too strong for her. I was slowly fading in and out of consciousness. That's when James, his father, came running into the kitchen. He hooked an arm around Jimmy's neck and tightened him into a full Nelson hold. Jimmy was strong but he was no match for his father. 

I gasped to fill my lungs with air as my mom held on to me. I looked over to see Jimmy and his dad we're now fighting.

"Haven't I taught you not to put your hands on women? You feel like a tough guy? You wanna fight someone? Fight me!" James was now throwing punches at his son as he was leaning over the kitchen counter. 

"Not so tough now, huh? You can't fight back? Fight me back!" He continued to hit Jimmy in his arms and stomach. Jimmy tried to fight back, but as I said he was no match. None of his punches landed. 

After deciding that his son had had enough, James stopped hitting Jimmy. "Now go to your room and don't come back out! I can't look at you right now!"

Jimmy walked off to his bedroom and slammed the door. James walked over to my mom and I. He kissed my forehead as if I was his daughter. 

"Are you alright, Perrie?" He asked.

Despite the bruises on my throat and the bloody lip, I replied. "I'm okay." 

My mom looked like she wanted to cry. Like she knows what would've happened had she not walked in when she did. 

I looked at my mom to reassure her. "I'm okay mom, really." She just nodded. "I'm going to go clean up, then I'll be back to hear all about your trip. I gave a weak smile to the two of them before going upstairs to shower. 

We used to be so close, inseparable even. Like real brother and sister but those days were long gone. We stopped getting along a long time ago, and if I didn't hate Jimmy before, I definitely did now.