Journey

Needed Tragic News?

I start my day by waking up promptly at 3:30 in the morning. The inner geek in me did a math equation to prove how long it would take to do all the responsibilities, before child-sitting and the late night coffee shop shift. In the end, I lucked out and had to wake up two hours earlier. Because I decided to be responsible and figure in the hour drive, the whole getting ready process, prep breakfast, check on Es, call mom, feed Jackie and walk her, check the mail, and pay some bills all before I start work at 11. Thinking about the list, there is always more I could add, making my equation one of probability. Therefore, starting early, working-out, make at-home coffee and then getting stronger coffee at Starbucks are all necessities. I think and so I start my day what fun.

When I woke Jackie was sleeping right beside me and was startled by my early alarm. I reassured her before commencing with the list. I put down Jackie's food and started the coffee pot before hopping in the shower. On the way in the bathroom I checked on Es, she seemed to be sleeping fine, with a slight temperature. So, I gave her a cold, wet washcloth and placed it on her forehead and shut off the television. After, I took her dishes and late night snacks in the dishwasher. By this time Jackie, had finished her breakfast and was like Mommy, I want to smother you in eternal kisses now. I brought out her puzzle feeder to keep her busy while I finally hop in the bath.

I put on 2000s rock songs on my MP3 player that is plugged into my radio for the best volume. I stepped out of my sweatpants and the baggy shirt I was wearing, then stepped into the hot and steamy shower. Instantly, once inside I began to relax.

I towel dry my curly long dark brown hair, and go for a messy bun look. I then apply some mascara, eyeliner, foundation and blush. I through my dirty clothes in my laundry hamper, place my towel on my closet door hanger and get dressed. I decide on a jumper with a cardigan pull over, and flats. Having gotten out of the shower with the time now 4:15AM, my dog runs toward me tail wagging around in a happy motion as I step out of my room.

I greet her by petting her and making excited noises so she follows me into the kitchen and living room area so I can clean. I grab my phone and lead her to our messy living area. First I reach for the coffee and pour it into my favorite mug. It is funny that my favorite thing to collect is mugs and my favorite one is not from any foreign countries, but a $5.00 on from Boston, about saving lives yet in a corny, funny manner.

I quickly finish the rest of my mandatory tasks and then some. I mean, what can I say, guess instead of someone putting the magic in me coffee does. In the events following that, I write a note saying, I left and text you later, and leave it attached to the island in the kitchen along with the mail. I say goodbye to Jackie and skillfully shut the door on my way out. We do not need to hear, "Who let the dogs out" in our heads as we track down Jackie this early in the morning. Next, I take the elevator down from the 5th floor to the lobby/mailbox area. When I leave the building I start searching the premises for my navy blue jeep. It always takes me a good five minutes of pure fright to locate my car. Once I finally do find it, I unlock the car as I approach. When I am there I hop in and get it all re-adjusted.

One of my favorite things to do in the whole entire world is to drive, there is so much freedom, adventure and uncertainty in it. It is always a thrill and a good

break away from the rest of the world. I get my phone all set up playing a combo of 80s, 90s and early 2000s. Of course the first song to come on is, "No Diggity" by Blackstreet. I verify for my own sanity I have everything, I lock my car doors once more and turn on the heat as it is a chilly morning. Alright there is no more stalling, I put the car into drive and pull out of home. The freedom and fear/thrill sets in and I start to smile. Once I pull out onto the main road I am in my third home and heading to a new start and promise.

About ten minutes later, my mother calls me. I am less than astonished though, she has trouble sleeping well. I accept the call from my radio screen in my car.

"Hello, mother." I say starting our little inside family joke.

"Hello, daughter." Mom answers.

"I have missed you lately, the girls and I will be road tripping soon and heading home. I have some big stuff going on today. A doctor I used to intern for is pulling strings so that instead of medical school on the West Coast, I may get into an Ivy League school. After all of that jazz, I have to babysit and other work stuff. I also, have to check in on Esme, she may be coming down with the common cold. How about you, how have you been lately?" I fill mom in like talking to an old friend.

"Well, I am going to continue trying to cure ASD today like I have all throughout my BCBA/ABA career. However, there is a couple things I need to talk to you about and keep in mind I have not discussed this with any other family other that your father. You know how just last year Dad got diagnosed with arthritis, well yesterday I got diagnosed with the early signs of multiple sclerosis (MS)." Mom shakily said.

"Well it is a great thing I am looking to get me and my roomates back near home. I might need a couple months to get my stuff all moved and do not even argue, i am coming back near you guys, this diagnosis is the final straw. To be honest I do not exactly love it out here. Anyways, Mom, I am afraid I am going to have to get off of here."

"Alright Lealea, we will talk later. Love you, bye." Mom says relieved and abruptly.

The current song that is playing is Backstreet Boys', "I want it that way." My mind is in a flurry of thoughts, let alone emotions. The only clear things are that I need to back where I can call my mom and go out to coffee every morning and I need this to go quite well. If not, me blowing off medical school here was a huge mistake. All of this is rushing through your head as you pull into the clinic.