One Night Only

I sat by my window, watching how the night crept in. It’s the only chance I get to hear my own thoughts without distractions. In a way, it was airy but welcoming. Quiet, the kind that made confessions easier. I had already put my child to sleep before he would arrive. I made sure of that. Anya. The only reason I was still here. I turned slightly, my gaze drifting to the other side of the room. The space behind me held its weight, heavy and unmoving. The silence settled, deliberate . glowing skin complemented her warm honey brown eyes. Long silky black hair, the kind you’d want to rest on your cheek. And oh, how I loved her gummy smile. Seeing her was like looking in a mirror, she was everything I once was. I couldn’t just leave it all behind. “She should be in her room." A voice recognizable spoke. It sounded almost like his. The man I fell in love with five years ago, the man who would look at me like I was the only girl revolving around his world, the man who never made me question my worth. I miss that man. My husband. All that remains of him is the child we share. I hadn’t heard him come in, let alone drive in. Dropping his keys on the nightstand. His presence so casual it startled me. Unaware of how full the space had been moments ago. I stayed still tracking every movement he made, more aware of the room than him. The floor board near the door creaked softly beneath his weight, and I held my breath, waiting for it to settle again. “She can sleep wherever she pleases." I responded. ”Well I don’t want her here tonight." He said, dictatorially, shrugging out of his business attire. I could swear time itself paused, just to watch. He was infuriatingly beautiful, words alone could not describe how beautiful he was, but if there was one-a…an………an Adonis. I often wondered how his messy brunette hair framed a face carved so beautifully, like something pulled straight from a painter’s canvas, a work only an artist could create. I swallowed my thoughts and lay beside Anya, deliberately ignoring him. I couldn’t endure another night spent arguing over needless things. The last thing I wanted was to be caught relishing the sight of him-or worse, admitting that I was. Peeking through the duvet, I watched him leave for the bathroom, my gaze softening once again as it traced what I had pretended not to notice before. ”Oh how I want my fingers clawing his back.” I told myself. The thought sharp and deliberate, not entirely honest. I let it bloom anyway, letting desire rise just enough to conceal my nerves, just enough to look convincing. I slid off the bed and followed him, careful with my steps, careful not to look behind me. The mirror caught us briefly as i reached the bathroom doorway. His reflection startled, mine unreadable. I closed the door behind us so as not to disturb the unwelcome. He stood still, processing all that was happening, the sudden desire I had for him. My actions surprised me too but I couldn’t give in. I wrapped my hands around him, my fingers finding their way to his torso. Enjoying every moment, every touch. But it wasn’t enough, I wanted more and his light groans didn’t scream satisfaction either. I aggressively reached for his pants, unzipping whatever obstacle in my way. Finally finding warmth, ease. The feeling was almost unexplainable. It was like untangling a silk ribbon, letting it slide through my fingers like it was made for me, caressing it as if it was the most tender thing I’ve come across. My hand moving in small careful motions. “Aghhh” He groaned, sounding almost helpless. I smirked. He turned to face me. Our eyes locked. I could see surprise flickering in his warm honey brown eyes, before something darker took its place. My hands still magnified to the back and forth movement. His mouth found its way to my lips, slowly making a grand entrance as we collided in a desperate kiss. Both tongues fighting for dominance. I could feel the desperate hunger in his kiss, it was soft and warm reminding me of Anya’s sweet I usually pick on. He missed this. He pulled back, slowly untying my garment with no hesitation. His hands going straight for my n*****s, circling it rhythmically, driving me closer to the edge with every circle. Without warning, I felt myself pinned against the bathroom mirror. My body heat slowly overwhelmed the coolness of the mirror. My reflection starring back at me, wrecked, undone, hungry. He didn’t look much better either. His hands slid between my thighs, stripping me off my silky panties, firm and knowing. Fingers playing around my clits with intense precision. “Please just put it in already.” I pleaded as I helplessly sucked on his thumbs, drool dripping down my cheeks. A feeling of relief overcame me. He had put it in, not his fingers, his thick c**k. I felt him in me, thrusting in deep, grinding into me continuously. “Say my name." He whispered, his lips grazing my neck. The words alone made my spine tingle. ”Ray…..Raymond." I moaned, his sucked thumb finally leaving my mouth. I turned to face him, my eyes tracing his swollen lips. They still looked irresistible. Our mouths collided again, devouring each other’s with an urgency that left us both breathless. Heavily panting in a shared rhythm, it was the only rapid sound in the room. The moment shattered with a sound. Not loud enough to explain itself, just heavy. Probably somewhere down the hall. We froze. The moment was gone. In that brief pause, my mind raced ahead of me, already forming conclusions I didn’t want to face. I held my breath, hoping, praying it was Anya. That it had always been Anya. Another sound followed, softer this time. I pulled away first. He was already looking past me, wander creeping in his dark eyes. Whatever warmth that filled the room moments ago evaporated. “Did you hear that?” He whispered. I nodded. We stepped out together, the house suddenly too quiet. My eyes wandering away. My chest aching with the effort of keeping calm, of not letting fear overload me. ”Mummy?” The word floated toward us, small, innocent and sleepy. Relief hit me so fast. I let out a shakily laugh. My hand placed on my chest as Anya appeared at the doorway, rubbing her eyes. “There you are.” I breathed. She moved towards us, arms already reaching past me for her father. He bent without hesitation, scooping her off the ground as if the tension hadn’t engrossed him moments ago. “I heard a noise.” She said, clinging to him. ”That’s okay.” He murmured. “You’re safe now”. I watched them, my heart settling slowly. Gratitude flooded me. Thank you, I whispered silently to whoever was listening. Still…..my eyes drifted. Once. Twice. The hall way, the door at the end. The quiet corners that felt alive moments ago. His gaze followed mine, just for a second. Before Anya demanded for a piggy back ride, tugging his attention back to her completely. Calm overtook me, while the room held its own secret.