Daring his Passion

1 I didn't want to want her. I knew I shouldn't want her. She wasn't mine, and thanks to her marriage to my best friend, she never would be. It was crazy to desire her this much––to the brink of obsession. The more I tried to forget her, though, the more I craved her with every ounce of my being. Cassie had been my dream girl from the first moment I laid eyes on her. And, for the record, I saw her first. Not that it matters much. Dirk called dibs on her before I could even develop a coherent sentence. It was like calling "shotgun" to sit in the front seat of the car––a childish move that had stuck for all of these years. I'll never forget that first night we met her. Dirk and I had been young college studs out drinking and celebrating our impending graduation. Dirk had suggested seeing how many girls we could “seal the deal” with in one night, but that idea didn't appeal to me in the slightest. It wouldn't have been a competition, anyway. Dirk has always been the ladies' man, not me. It was her laugh that first drew my attention. She laughed with her entire body––tipping her head back, opening her mouth wide, and bellowing from deep within her belly. It was intriguing, obnoxious, and sexy as hell. She had been sitting at a table full of tipsy co-eds, but I only had eyes for her. I couldn't even tell you what the other girls looked like. I'm sure they were pretty, but they paled in comparison next to her. I vividly remember every detail of how she looked that night. She was wearing a black leather jacket over a low-cut, shimmery silver top. Her form-fitting, faded jeans shouldn't have been as sexy as the short skirts many of the other girls in the bar were flaunting, but she made the demure, wanna-be bad-a*s look work. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Everything about her drew me to her as if we were massive magnets. I didn't want to frighten her by staring at her like a creepy stalker, but it was physically impossible for me to tear my eyes away from her. It didn't take long for Dirk to notice the object of my sudden obsession. I have relived that exact moment over in my mind a million times. In my imagination, I quickly and efficiently inform him of my discovery of the woman of my dreams, before boldly walking over to sweep Cassie off her feet––literally and figuratively. In reality, I sat still and gawked at her like a big, dumb dope. Dirk's eyes followed my gaze. It only took him a fraction of a second to mobilize. He stood, took a giant gulp from his bourbon glass, leaned in to speak into my ear over the loud music in the bar, and said, "I won't need you as wing man for this one." His consummate confidence was galling. Knowing he was right about his ability to charm her pants off still grates on my nerves. He leaned in close to the woman I had been immediately drawn to and whispered something in her ear. At first, I thought she would shut him down. She turned to her friends with a roll of her eyes and said something that had them all in hysterics. I felt an immediate, irrational swell of pride over her ability to see right through Dirk's bullshit. Ever the cocky bastard, Dirk didn't give up. Instead, he stole a chair from a nearby table and scooted it right next to Cassie. Spreading his thighs and plopping down backwards on the chair, he wormed his way right into their conversation. It wasn't long before he was charming all the ladies at the table, except for Cassie. I knew this was his style. He flirted with everyone, except his target, making her want what she couldn't have. I vividly remember sitting there alone, taking shallow breaths, and silently praying she wouldn't fall for his ruse. For a while, I thought she would manage to be immune to his manipulative tactics. In fact, her body language––arms crossed high across her perky chest, torso leaning back away from Dirk, and shapely legs crossed towards the woman on the other side of her––gave the clear indication that she was repelled by him. If only that had been the case, my life would be ever so much better. Even if I couldn't be with her, not having to see her with Dirk, which brought on the unbidden images of him screwing her brains out, would be a huge relief. She held out for a long time––much longer than his usual conquests. By posing a challenge, she unwittingly made herself his ultimate goal. The more she ignored him, the more he worked his magic on her friends. He had them all in stitches. I tried not to be jealous of his innate knack with the ladies, or his athletic prowess, or his preposterously blessed life. It gets old watching him win at everything, but I had long ago learned to accept it. Dirk was just charmed and the rest of us were mere intruders in his glowing orbit. Most of the time his easy breeze through life no longer bothered me, but as I watched him begin to win over Cassie, my jealousy seethed. It wasn't in my nature to be an envious person. Dirk beat me at everything from sports to grades to earning both of our families' love, but I rarely let it get to me. Dirk E. Davis was a winner, and I wasn't. It was as simple as that. Watching him with the woman of my dreams was too much, though. I wanted to punch him in the throat...or the balls. When Cassie tipped her head back for one of her irresistible belly laughs, I thought to myself, Yeah, he definitely needs a good swift kick to the nuts. That was many years ago. Dirk and Cassie had been inseparable since that first night, and it almost killed me to be around them. Some self-torturous side of me wouldn't allow me to cut ties with them, though. I rationalized my continued involvement in their lives, which caused me indescribable amounts of torment, by reminding myself that Dirk and I had been friends too many years to flush our relationship down the toilet. Besides, one would think getting to see the object of my obsession regularly would be better than not seeing her at all. It turned out that spending time with Cassie was probably causing me far more anguish than I would have suffered by not having her in my life. I searched for her flaws, trying to convince myself that my instant attraction to her had been misplaced. Unfortunately, the more I got to know her, the more irresistible she was. She was gorgeous. I already knew that from how drawn to her I was from across the crowded bar. What I hadn't known then was how her shiny brown hair would gleam in the sunlight, shimmering with golden highlights. I had known that she laughed with pure joy, using her whole body, but I hadn't realized how just being in her presence when she graced the world with one of her signature bellows would cause spontaneous, contagious giggles to erupt from anyone within earshot. And her scent. I had assumed that she would smell good, but I could never have imagined the intoxicating mixture of vanilla and fresh peaches that she somehow always seemed to emit. Just thinking of it made my c**k uncomfortably firm. Her body was banging, of course, or Dirk would have quickly lost interest. She generally kept most of her luscious skin demurely covered, but I had seen her in a bikini at their pool on several occasions. Her creamy-colored breasts appeared plump and perfect as they peeked out at me from behind the tiny wisps of triangle fabric. They looked like they would make a slightly overflowing handful...or mouthful. I ached to find out. I pathetically prayed that her bikini string would cause a wardrobe malfunction, so her t**s would pop out, and I could get a glimpse at her n*****s. I didn't know whether to wish that they were small and dark or large and pink. Either way, I was sure they would harden into irresistible nubs when I nipped them with my teeth. The only thing that could possibly be better than her perfect t**s was that round, voluptuous a*s. The overwhelming desire to grab a handful of her firm butt cheeks overcame me whenever I saw her in a bathing suit...or jeans...or a pencil skirt...or leggings...or probably even a potato sack. What a sad loser I have turned into. I'd give anything to fall for someone other than my best friend's wife. I just don't think it's in the cards.