Getting in Touch with Your Hexed Side

Gaming Night

We parted ways after that, Lizzie and Michael heading off to do more research and promising to let us know if an email came in. Joe decided to join us at Caesar’s. Scrambling into Caesar’s truck was a lot less fun now that I’d lost a foot of height and a lot of leg length.

“Has this thing always been this tall?” I mumbled, using both hands to pull the door shut.

“Always, short stack.”

“Brave words for someone within grappling distance.”

“Leave the driver alone,” he quickly pulled onto the highway. “Last thing I want to do is try to explain my condition to doctors in the ER.”

“Fine, but only because broken bones don’t appeal to me either. I’ve been in enough pain the last few days.”

Joe was waiting when we arrived, probably having sped the whole way. I wondered if paws made it difficult to drive. Caesar lived in an even more rundown place than Lizzie and I, but he put his paychecks into gaming gear instead of a house fund so the inside was much more comfortable. I ran to the couch and flopped down contentedly the moment we were inside only to jump back up again as Joe reached for his pants.

“Holy s**t, dude. Do you mind?”

“Not at all,” he let the pants drop with his own sigh, showing off his boxers and a long tail, suddenly free to wag.

“Oh my god,” Caesar bent double laughing. “You weren’t kidding when you said you got the whole package. You need to tear some holes in your pants, though. No one wants to see that shit.”

“Whatever, I’m grabbing some beers. You guys get the games running. I don’t want to think about this s**t for the rest of the evening.”

Caesar shrugged at me and started up the console. Joe had shed the coat and his shirt by the time he came back, almost totally revealing himself in full furry glory. He set six bottles on the coffee table, somehow also carrying a couple cans of mountain dew for Caesar cradled higher in his arms. He flopped down and easily pried one open of the bottles with a claw, downing a third of the contents in one go. He sighed and leaned back, easing into the sofa and propping his feet up.

“Damn, dude. At least you got ripped,” Caesar gestured to the man’s chest. Even under the copious amount of hair you could see the muscle definition. Joe grunted in response.

I grabbed my own beer, trying and failing to twist the top. I pulled my shirt from the overalls and tried again, but the thing once again failed to budge. I eyed the edge of the coffee table and Caesar hissed.

“Don’t you dare. Is it even a good idea for you to be drinking? Doesn’t it mess up developing brains or something?”

“Other than my obviously stunted decision making skills in having you pricks as friends, my brain is fine and in dire need of a beer. Open this for me or I’m adding another scratch to your precious table,” I handed him the bottle and he obediently cracked it open, reluctantly handing it back after I’d stuffed my shirt back down.

“This feels so wrong. I’m not the law abiding citizen Michael is, but I’ve never provided alcohol to minors either.”

“If Jason’s a minor I’m a dog, and that’s not somewhere you want to go,” Joe growled. “The man deserves a beer for having to deal with no longer being a man.”

“Thank you, I think,” I took a sip, wincing as my new taste buds didn’t take as kindly to the bitterness.

“Come on ladies, let’s get this show on the f*****g road!” Joe howled, which was more hilarious now than usual.

“You’re gonna be the loser tonight,” I teased Caesar. “I can feel it.”

“What makes you think it’ll be any different than always?”

“I’m going to have the reflexes of the younger generation now.”

I didn’t.

After Caesar had mopped the floor with both myself and an increasingly intoxicated Joe, we let him take his fun online while we trash talked him from the couch. I’d only had one and a half beers, but I was definitely drunk. Not ‘puking my guts out in an hour’ drunk, but ‘can’t quite walk straight’ drunk. New me was a hell of a lightweight.

I excused myself and stumbled to the bathroom, much to the others’ entertainment, and by the time I got back Joe and Caesar were embroiled in some kind of technological debate I couldn’t begin to wrap my head around. How Caesar pieced together any kind of argument while also remaining competitive in his virtual world was testament to the man’s wasted intelligence. It wasn’t even ten when the beer caught up to me and I passed out.

“You know, she’s a pretty cute kid if you ignore the fact our foul mouth asshole of a friend is nestled in her brain.”

I groggily listened to the conversation, content to stay exactly where I was.

“Not cute enough. I don’t even know how Lizzie handled him before,” Caesar was lightly laughing.

“Screw you guys. I am the perfect gentleman.” I muttered, keeping my eyes closed and relaxing. I vaguely recognized the position I was in now wasn’t the one I’d fallen asleep in, but was too tired to care.

“Now you have to worry about becoming the perfect lady,” Joe jostled me from the side. Okay, I was clearly curled into him somewhat. Still didn’t care; fur was warm.

“And I’ll buy you a collar.”

“Haa,” he drew the fake noise of humor out, but there was genuine entertainment in his voice. At least he wasn’t offended by talk of his condition. “I think someone’s cranky. Maybe we need to get you to bed.”

“One, screw you. Two, a bed sounds great, but I’m not crawling into Caesar’s crusty sheets.”

“Jesus, I’m not that disgusting. I’ll get a fresh blanket from the closet and you won’t even notice.”

“Ugh,” I moaned, but managed to extricate myself from the awkward position and to my feet without meeting either of their eyes. “Don’t stay up all night; you have to drive me home tomorrow and I’d like to be there before Lizzie gets home from classes.” Joe c****d his head, looking hysterically like a dog in the moment.

“Are you really going to try and make it work?” he asked.

“I’m way too tired for that conversation,” I rubbed my eyes. “I guess. Not like this is forever. We find ourselves a witch and get back to our old selves and I’ll still be able to propose this winter.”

“Hope so, buddy,” Caesar said, unusually somber. “Now get some sleep. You look more like the walking dead than I do.”

“Ha Ha. Night, assholes.”

“Night girly,” Joe called, wagging his eyebrows.

I didn’t bother making Caesar get the blanket. He wasn’t that gross. He may have fit the gamer stereotype in a lot of ways, but he never shirked hygiene and kept up on his laundry as well as you could expect your average bachelor to. I’d slept in far more disgusting conditions during my own bachelor days.

I couldn’t see well in the room, but there was clearly some kind of cartoon character on the sheets. I laughed as I crawled between and snuggled in. I hesitated for a second, but stripped the coveralls as well as the restrictive bra. If Joe could parade around the apartment in his underwear I could certainly sleep in mine. The guys’ voices still echoed from the living room, ribbing and joking with each other. I wanted to be out there and part of it, but my damn eyes just weren’t going to stay open.

I woke up in a furnace and I loved it. My body craved the heat radiating from both sides. I yawned and cracked open my eyes, stretching my refreshed body. After two or three nights of feverishly tossing and turning a full night of sleep felt goddamn amazing. However, it was a little strange to wake up sandwiched by a zombie and a wolf-man. The zombie of a best friend, especially, should have disturbed me, but even if he looked like death I didn’t find myself disgusted. He was still Caesar, like I was still me. I was just glad he wasn’t really dead. Moving a bit brought my bare leg against his and I winced. We’d often all crashed on one of our beds or another, but it felt different now. Should have felt better being a little less gay, but instead it somehow felt a little more wrong.

Awkward as it was, I wanted to stay in this blissful heat, but my body had other ideas. I groaned and crawled to the foot of the bed under the covers, slipping out without disturbing either of the others. Thank god Caesar’s toilet was still clean. With how much Joe had been drinking I’d been worried I’d be wiping aside vomit to do my business. Was his new body better at holding his liquor? Lucky bastard could probably lift double what he’d been doing and I’d be lucky to get half. I would have to find a new gym partner or be utterly humiliated. I washed up and headed back to the bedroom. I hesitated, looking between the bed and my clothes. I wasn’t tired, but I didn’t want to get up yet. I’d spent so many days heading to the office at the c***k of dawn that the idea of lazily sleeping in sounded wonderful. The Sun was barely peeking through the windows; I could stay in for another few hours and still beat Lizzie home.

“Just get back in bed, Talia” Joe growled. “Don’t make it weird.”

“I’m not sure I like you calling me that,” I huffed, gratefully crawling back to take my abandoned place.

“It is what it is. Doesn’t feel right to call you Jason when you look like this,” he reached over and pinched my cheek.

“As long as you remember it’s still me in here,” I batted his hand away and snuggled down into the blankets.

“Mmhmm,” he made a noncommittal sound. Whatever, I wasn’t going to fight him on it now. The bastard was probably going to be calling me Talia even after we got turned back. I’d have to come up with a dog name for him to make it even.

“I should be dying of heat, but man it feels great,” I sighed.

“Yeah,” he commented drily. I belatedly noticed he was the one under only the sheet. That much hair must have been toasty. Could he still sweat or was he about to start panting?

“You could always go in for one of those full body waxes.”

“The agony would rival transforming into this mess in the first place,” he chuckled. “Go back to sleep, Talia. Even if you’re not tired, we are.”

“I told you not to pull an all nighter,” I shut my eyes and stretched back on the pillow.

“We didn’t, but we also didn’t head to bed before midnight.”

I snorted. They wouldn’t fess up to it, but I’m sure they were up until four or five in the morning. As long as Caesar was good to drive in a couple hours I didn’t care. Lizzie’s comment about cab drivers yesterday had me paranoid to head out by myself.

I turned away from him and relaxed. Caesar, for his part, was out cold, snoring softly and cuddling a body pillow on his other side that almost certainly had an anime character on it. It was hard to resist the urge to do something assholish to my friend, but I managed. Barely. I only rested for a handful of minutes before Joe put his arm around me and dragged me back into him. I stiffened in his grip.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“What? It’s not gay.”

“Debatable, but it’s sure as f**k weird.”

“Caesar wouldn’t lend me one of his anime girl pillows and I’m too used to sleeping with a woman in my arms.”

“Disgusting. I look like a high schooler; exactly what kind of girls are you taking to bed?”

“You know I like ‘em mature,” he snorted. “Just f*****g relax. I’m not getting any sleep being pushed halfway off the damn bed because I’ve been trying to avoid skin contact. We usually pass out piled on top of each other because Caesar can’t buy himself a queen sized bed like an actual adult. Full beds shouldn’t even be a thing.”

“I can feel your d**k, bro.”

“And I can feel your ass, babe.”

“Do not call me that,” I gagged. “Fine, but I swear to god you go pedo on me I’m getting Caesar’s softball bat and beating the s**t out of your furry ass.”

“Fine, but shut the f**k up so I can get some sleep.”

I actually fell back asleep too, but woke again to the sound of a camera shutter.

“I swear to f*****g god,” I was awake and swiping at Caesar’s phone, help a handful of feet in front of my face.

“That’s going to Lizzie,” he cackled. 

“Don’t you dare,” I tried to lunge at him, but Joe held tight in his sleep and I may as well have been jolting against a seatbelt in a car crash.

“I’ll go see what I have in the fridge. See if you can wake the beast enough to extricate yourself and we’ll get you home before Lizzie’s the one contacting me to bitch.”

“If you send that picture I’ll take a pair of scissors to Haruhi,” I gestured to the pillow he’d just abandoned.

“You wouldn’t,” he laughed off my threat. “You play asshole, but you’re like Michael when it comes to carrying through threats. Well, he doesn’t make them in the first place, but you get the point. I’ll see you in the kitchen.”

He strolled out of the room, utterly pleased with himself. I prayed he wouldn’t send it, but you could never tell with Caesar. Best case scenario he’d just save it for blackmail.

“Joe,” I called over my shoulder and jostled him. “Joe! Wake the f**k up and let me go.”

When he didn’t stir I tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but he had me in the sleeping version of a death grip. I managed to spin myself around in his arms and shove against his chest. If this is what his conquests had to deal with it’s no wonder he only had a couple women who returned to his bed more than once. I finally just reached up and pinched his nose shut. He drew in a couple mouthy snores and then coughed himself awake.

“What the hell?” he shook his head and shot me a nasty look.

“You weren’t letting me go or waking up. Sorry not sorry I didn’t have a glass of water to chuck on you.”

“What time is it?” he looked past me towards Caesar’s alarm clock and groaned.

I glanced as well. It was eleven o’clock, more than late enough.

“I thought the whole point in seizing me was so you could get some sleep. Don’t complain about Caesar not being an adult when you can’t pull yourself out of bed at eleven.”

“Whatever, I gotta piss.”

“Charming,” I rolled my eyes. He flipped me off and strode out of the room, leaving me to dress myself and catch up to Caesar in the kitchen.

“Watchu got? Please tell me it’s waffles and eggs.” I jumped into one of his kitchen chairs. He didn’t have room for a table, but his apartment had come with a thick enough half wall to the kitchen area to use as a bar.

“It’s either cereal or hot pockets,” he dropped the crispies box in front of me. I groaned as I poured a bowl.

“You can stock beer for us but not real food?”

“You going to give me the cash for it? Maintenance doesn’t pay anywhere near as well as your managerial position and when I’ve bought that s**t before it’s just gone bad before I can get to it.”

“Only you would call real food ‘s**t’,” I snorted. “All that preserved crap you eat is going to kill you.”

“At least now no one will be able to tell the difference.”

“Coming from Joe it sounds hilarious; from you that sounds like moping.”

“You’re right,” he sighed. “Sorry. Have you heard anything from Lizzie?”

I double checked my phone but shook my head.

“Guess that means no luck on the witch front. What are we even going to do with all this free time? Are you staying over again today?”

“Tempting, but no. Lizzie is expecting me home. You can play with Joe, though. Tell him you want to explore his newfound s****l awakening.”

He choked on his bite of cereal.

“What was he doing last night?” he asked hoarsely after he got his breathing back under control.

“f**k if I know. Said he needed the room.”

“Could be. Maybe the dude just craved some comfort and didn’t have the balls to admit it. Just thank god he was next to you and not me.”

“Thanks. I’ll be your sacrificial lamb any time.”

“More like a sacrificial virgin now,” Joe strode into the room, bringing all of his assholery with him.

“People are more likely to sacrifice animals,” I shot back around a mouthful of cereal. “Just feel lucky you turned into a dog instead of a goat.”

“That would be Mr. Wolf to you,” he turned his nose up.

“I think there’s a guy in accounting named that,” I said, frowning.

“Nah,” Caesar polished off his bowl by noisily slurping down the milk. “You’re thinking of Mr. Welf. Guy’s a dick.”

“Clearly a relation, then.”

“Probably. Finish your cereal so we can go,” Caesar headed back to his bedroom to change out of the pajama pants.

“I swear if one more person tells me to finish my food I’m going postal,” I muttered darkly.

“That’s the spirit,” Joe said jovially, taking a seat back on the couch and flipping on the TV. “Is it cool if I hang out here today?” he yelled back to Caesar.

The dead man walking yelled back in the affirmative. He strode back out before I could finish. I was full anyway, so I poured the little the remained down the sink and followed Caesar back out to his oversized truck.

Back in the apartment, I decided to make myself useful before the girlfriend showed back up. I tidied up as best I could, grabbing a step stool to do the dishes and then to look high in the cleaning closet to find something to put on the food stain on the bedroom carpet. She was just walking in the door as I made my way back to the living area.

“Look at you! Jumping full on into the wifely duties.”

“Not like I’ve never done the dishes before,” I rolled my eyes.

“Just giving you s**t, babe,” she laughed and pulled me into an embrace. I instinctively went in for the kiss, but she turned it into a peck on the cheek and a hug.

“Sorry,” I muttered.

“Not your fault,” she sighed. “We’ll get it sorted. Michael and I worked a little on it yesterday before it turned into a movie marathon. You guys have fun?”

“Tons,” I collapsed on the couch. “If you get a media message from Caesar, it’s in your best interest to ignore it.”

“I have a feeling I’m going to figure it out regardless,” she commented, pulling her laptop out and sitting at our small table.

“How were classes?” I made small talk as she waited for it to boot. She took the opportunity and started complaining about every person she’d been in contact with that day. It slightly worried me what kind of s**t she was telling Michael behind my back.

“Oh! Our witch messaged back,” she chirped excitedly. I jumped up to read the message from around her side, unable to peer over her shoulder.

“She wants to talk,” she talked it through like I couldn’t read it. “Needs more information, huh? Better call the guys.”