Getting in Touch with Your Hexed Side

Death of the Self

“This is it?” Lizzie peeked into the empty storefront. 

“I swear to God. That place just down the street is where we ate after the whole thing.”

“Well, let’s go ask them what happened.”

We went down and did just that, but when we asked about an occult shop the woman registered nothing.

“That spot has been empty for as long as I can remember. Owned by some out of towner, but never puts anything in,” she snorted. “Can’t imagine paying the taxes on one of these buildings and not bothering to make any money on it. Least they could do is rent it out.”

We thanked her and stepped back out, heading back towards the car with nothing else to do. I kept it together for all of two blocks before I collapsed, leaning up against a wall and putting my head in my hands.

“This can’t be happening,” I couldn’t help the tears of frustration. Maybe it was fear. I couldn’t face the possibility of this being permanent. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I’d accepted this was happening, but what was I supposed to do now? I didn’t have the slightest idea how to begin reversing this. My job wasn’t going to wait for me forever. They’d only believe sick leave for a few more days at most. 

“What am I going to tell my parents?” I croaked. “What are we going to do? God, I was going to propose to you this winter. How the f**k is that supposed to work?”

She looked taken aback for the moment at the word ‘propose’, but quickly gathered herself. She grabbed an arm and dragged me back to my feet.

“If you’re going to have a breakdown at least wait until we’re back in the car. I’d rather not deal with a sobbing child in front of a hundred people.”

I couldn’t believe how easy that was for her. Me? I’d handled my emotions well enough for polite society, but right now I couldn’t turn off the waterworks.Best I could do was keep it to a minimum as she dragged me along, letting the tears go but biting back the sobs. She was right; there was no reason to make a spectacle of myself, but I felt my whole world crumbling and I had no idea how to cope.

“How old do you think I am?” I asked back in the car.

“You’re 26.”

“No, I mean how old do I look? You called me a child.”

“I don’t know,” she glanced at me exasperatedly “Could be anywhere between 12 and 18. What does it matter?”

“I guess it doesn’t,” I sank down in the seat. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do now.”

The sobs started coming again and she fiecly shushed me.

“You’d be a terrible mom,” I found the humor in the situation.

“Whatever you may look like, you’re not a child, so you don’t get to act like one. You’re two years older than me, for god’s sake.”

“You’re right. I have no idea what’s wrong with me. Well, other than the obvious. It’s like I can’t get myself under control.”

“Hormones,” she muttered. “Man up.”

I doubted the assessment. It wasn’t like it was unreasonable for me to be freaking out right now. In fact, it was pretty inhuman that she wasn’t. I managed to hold it together all the way to our apartment complex and she quickly ushered me up the stairs, hurrying me along like a ticking bomb filled with salty tears. I collapsed on the couch, dropping my head in my hands and counting to ten and back. It worked for anger, why not for gut wrenching sadness?

Didn’t work. I broke down in sobs again and, to her credit, Lizzie didn’t try to shush me this time. She sat on the couch beside me, rubbing my back and whispering that it would be okay over and over. She’d done the same thing when Grandpa had died. Was this me mourning my own death? No, that was a little dramatic. 

Eventually I cried out, sagging into the cushions in exhaustion. Lizzie brought me a wet washcloth and I gratefully draped it over my eyes.

“Better?” she asked.

“Didn’t really solve anything,” I shrugged, now embarrassed over the outburst.

“Do you feel better though?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that’s good enough for now,” she blew out a breath. “Good thing I’m not looking to be a parent any time soon.”

I ignored the shot fired.

“So what do we do? I’m not sure how we go about tracking down the woman if she can make the entire shop appear and disappear at will. Do we just check back every day?”

“That, and we can look around for someone else who can break the curse. If there’s one real witch in the world there must be more, right?”

“Yeah,” I nodded in agreement, feeling some measure of hope again. This wasn’t going to be forever. I may lose my job and a few other disasters, but I’d worry about that when I’d tackled the first problem.

“In the meantime, how about lunch?”

“Sounds great. I’ve gotta pee,” I pushed off the couch and made my way to the bathroom. I again avoided my reflection and went about my business. On the way out, however, I faced down the mirror, drawing a deep breath and taking it all in as I washed my hands. Lizzie was right, as a consolation, that I was kind of cute. Good teeth at least, though that was a bizarre thought. I kept my blue eyes, but had inexplicably developed red hair instead of my brown. Red hair ran in the family on my mom’s side, so if my genes had been rerolled it might have been possible. If I looked for it, I could still see the family resemblance. It was just like if I’d had a younger sister.

“You alright in there?” Lizzie yelled from the kitchen. “It’s not rocket science. You better not be doing anything else.”

“Shut the hell up,” I rolled my eyes as she cackled. That insinuation wasn’t something I was ready to deal with, so I headed back out to the kitchen to help her cook.

After some delicious stir fry and a cleanup later we snuggled on the couch and put on some TV in the background.

“Is this weird?” I asked.

“Not weird,” she considered for a moment. “Just different.”

I grunted. It didn’t really feel all that different for me other than being easier to lay under her arm rather than the other way around, but I knew she was dealing with having an entirely different body curled up next to her.

“I guess this puts our relationship on hold, huh? I can’t imagine you’re eager to jump into bed with me this way.”

She let out a genuine surprised laugh.

“Yeah, maybe the physical part better get put on hold. Last thing I need is Ollie spying through the window on me making out with my sister.”

“That’s too bad,” I gave a dramatic sigh. “I’m really going to miss these puppies.” I reached up and grabbed one of her breasts, squeezing it before she slapped my hand away.

“Shut the f**k up. You have your own to play with now.”

“I’d rather not,” I groaned. “I was never into jailbait.”

“Thank heavens for that, though you could pass as an adult, too.”

We both jumped as my phone went off. I hadn’t had any missed calls in the several days before, so I’d abandoned the thing in the kitchen. Lizzie rushed to grab it and put it on speaker.

“Caesar?” she read the caller ID and raised her eyebrows at me. I shrugged. I hadn’t heard from him since ‘the incident’.

“Hi Lizzie?” he sounded off. Not ‘I’m not a little girl’ off, but different nonetheless. He also sounded nervous and tired as hell. “Is Jason there?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Lizzie hedged. I smacked my hand into my forehead. Why would you say it like that?

“s**t. Did the witch screw him too? Can he even talk? I couldn’t for a while.”

“I can talk, Caesar,” I cleared my throat. It was silence on the line.

“No way. You’re screwing with me.”

“I’m assuming you made out better than me,” I sighed.

“If you consider being a walking corpse better then maybe,” he rattled a laugh. “Not that I’m actually dead. My heart is still beating at least, but I sure look like death. There’s a reason this isn’t a video chat. I haven’t been brave enough to go out in public. People are gonna call the cops. Or an EMT.”

“I get the picture.” I hadn’t even thought about the others. “What about Joe and Michael?” 

“Haven’t talked to them. You were the first on the call list. If she got the two of us I imagine she got them. God, Joe was the one who actually screwed with her. You think he’s still breathing?”

“Or croaking. Hurt so bad I could have believed I was turning into a frog. We need to talk. We all need to talk.”

“Right, I’ll call Michael and you can call Joe. I’ll take the guy who probably isn’t an animal or an inanimate object.”

“Nice. Meet at the usual place afterwards?”

“They're gonna let you in a bar?”

“Meet at Julie’s afterwards?”

“Remember what I said about going in public?”

“Try some makeup,” Lizzie cut in. “Works for the women pulling all nighters at the college. Might work on your zombified ass.”

“Always a ray of sunshine, Lizzie. I’ll see what Catherine might have left around,” he let out a deep sigh. “We’re gonna fix this, right boss?”

“God, I hope so. See you in a couple hours.”

I winced as I hung up the phone.

“See? Could be worse,” Lizzie said it like a joke, but there wasn’t any humor in her voice.

“At least I can show my face without people screaming and running. I have almost a morbid curiosity for what happened to Joe.”

“You don’t sound very sympathetic towards the guy. This the one who spiked the punch at the office party?”

“He’s the one who got the four of us in this mess. If any of us deserve this it’s him.”

Lizzie dialed the number and we waited to see if he would pick up. I was about convinced he was too crippled to get to the phone when he picked up on the last ring.

“Holy s**t, Jason. That old hag made me a furry.”

I stifled a laugh with a cough. The man acted like an animal, anyway.

“You’re not the only one,” Lizzie consoled him when I wanted to rub some salt in. “Jason is now Talia and Caesar is one of the walking dead.”

“What do you mean ‘is now Talia’?”

“It means Jason is temporarily indisposed, asshole.”

“I’ve got a tail, if it makes you feel better,” the usual joker didn’t even laugh. “I can barely answer the phone with paws.”

“Think you can make it to Julie’s in a couple hours?”

“You want me to go eat at a restaurant covered in fur?”

“Eh,” I shrugged even though he couldn’t see. “I’m wearing a bra and Caesar is coating his face in pink blush to make it happen. I have faith you’ll come up with something. We obviously need to talk and I’d rather take the freakshow public than have the neighborhood talking.”

“Fine, I’ll be there. What happened to Michael?”

“It’ll be a surprise. I’m assuming Caesar will get back to me if he can’t reach him.”

“How am I going to spot you since you’re not, well, you?”

“I’ll be the redhead dining with a sexy fox. That would be Lizzie, not you, by the way. Besides, I’m sure we’ll be able to find you.”

“True as s**t. I’m going to find a trenchcoat and I’ll see you there. I’ll be the unabomber with wolf ears.”

We sat there for a moment after hanging up. At least I had camaraderie in my suffering and it sounded like I hadn’t come out the worst. The others could barely go in public. I wasn’t me, but at least I was socially acceptable.

“Too bad we just ate. We’ll have to get something to go,” Lizzie rose and stretched her neck. I’m gonna take a shower. You should too; you’re still pretty gross. You may not have grown man BO, but you’re not a flower patch over there.”

“Thanks,” I sniffed myself and wrinkled my nose. “I’m so glad I went in public like this. Maybe the people were staring because they smelled me from down the block.”

“We had more important things to worry about than hygiene. Hurry up and shower and I’ll do your hair back up.”

“You’re way too excited for that.”

“Sue me. I never had a sister or girlfriend growing up.”

“I didn’t realize you were bi,” I c****d my head and looked at her in a new light. She just rolled her eyes.

“Not girlfriend like that, moron. Go. Make sure you clean everywhere. You’re going to smell like ass if you get self conscious.”

“You know me too well. Any other day I’d ask you to wash me yourself.”

“I’m gonna pass. I’ve got calls to make,” she waved me off and I obeyed. I’d been set on showering when I first woke up and felt the sweat, but I’d all but forgotten before this. And Lizzie had cuddled me on the couch anyway. I didn’t deserve that woman.

My desire to be clean overruled any self-consciousness. I used soap and bodywash on every inch and then heeded Lizzie’s threats from the hallway to use the floral scented hair and body product instead of my own.

Lizzie met me in the bedroom, making me pass a sniff test before handing over clothes. She’d talked earlier about how I was still an adult and didn’t get to act like a child, but apparently I was still going to be hers to dress up for however this long lasted.

“Do we want to go full on cute and innocent or free and casual?”

“I don’t even know what those options are. Just give me something I’m not going to be miserable in.”

“Sweetheart, I’d never let you be miserable when I’m your fashionista.”

I groaned and laid back on the bed. How much could she have even gotten at the local thrift shop? There hadn’t been that many bags.

Overalls. I hadn’t worn overalls since I’d been in first grade, but when Lizzie had produced the flower embroidered pair there was no talking her out of it. There was a fine line between ‘innocent and cute’ and what I would call ‘the farmer’s daughter’, but she assured me I fell into the former. The whole ordeal was a lot more exhausting than it had to be. I just wanted to climb into bed for another couple days, but we had the strangest dinner date in the world planned.