Fighting Temptations

Chapter 2"Second Best"

I heard the front door opening and I gently pace towards the living room. I see my husband enter and I greet him with a calm voice. He looks at me and just nods. I go over to the drinks stand and pour him a double malt of scotch whiskey which was his favourite. He swirled the glass as the rocks clinked against the sides and then closes his eyes and takes a deep breath into the glass inhaling the aroma of the liquid. He smiles then nods and gulps it down.. Another one I ask and he nods, this time he sips it slow as if trying to savour the moment and identifying all the elements that make up the Whiskey.

I walk back into the kitchen and hear him ask, "What's for dinner?"

I walk back into the living room and look at him rocking back and forth in his chair. I answered "Grilled chicken with mac and cheese, our boys favourite." He gives me a cold stare and I feel my heart sink. "Why does it always have to be a competition?" I think and hardly two seconds after my thought I hear his sarcastic comment. " It's always about your boy and never take me into consideration. I'm always second best when it comes to you."

What is this man talking about. Is he beside himself with this idiotic thinking, I thought.. I find my mind wandering to the events of the day but coerce myself to block those thoughts as they are irrelevant. But can I? I look at him and he flips his head back in the chair continuing to rock it. As I turn around to walk back to the kitchen I hear him say "A little appreciation would be nice." Who and what does this man think of himself. Is he some type of God that hurls orders around and a word comes to mind ungrateful... Yes, that's what he is. Suddenly he gets up and goes upstairs. "I'll be in our room!" Just then the door opens and it's my mother with my pumpkin pie. My heart just opened up and smiled as I saw the handsome young man infront of me.. I open my arms wide and he runs straight into them. I give him a warm hug and kisses all over his face. Lord knows how much I love this little man. He is afterall my heart in human form. I ask my mother to stay for supper seeing that she lives alone but she refuses and makes up an excuse. I look at her and know that she does not want to stay because she has had many unpleasant encounters with my husband. I nod and give her a hug. "Goodnight mom, love you!" She looks at me with so much love and concern then replies "I love you too my dear child. Take care of yourself and Aiden." I smile and nod. She turns around and leaves.

"Guess what mommy made for supper?" I ask. He looks at me with a huge smile and shouts "Mac and cheese with grilled chicken!" I laugh and ask him "Are you a psychic now?" He smiles and says "No mommy I don't read people's minds." I reply "Aren't you too clever for your age and he laughs so hard I feel my heart warming up inside.. We go upstairs and I get the bath ready for him. He goes into the room where his father was sitting on the bed and out of the blue whispered in his hear "I love you daddy!". That was so touching yet daddy wants to compete with him.. I call Aiden to come take a bath and we play splash with the water. He is enjoying himself so much that I find myself taken aback and my heart starts to ache. We have been through so much with his dad and he is still so loving and forgiving. That's the world of a child, does not bare grudges. I let out a huge sigh and take the towel to dry him off. Into his room I moisturize his skin with baby lotion seeing both of us love the smell so much, it is the only thing I use for him. I put on his pyjamas and tell him to go downstairs we'll soon have supper.

As hubby said I don't appreciate him I go over to him and massage his shoulders. "Tough day?" I ask as he swings his head from one side to another. He nods and after doing so he stands up and walks into the bathroom and splashes cold water over his face. I tell him I'm heading down to dish up and that he should come down soon. He responds with a cold tone and answers "Sure."

I walk down the stairs and feel my face burning and suddenly feel water rushing down. I stop as I catch the figure of my son on the couch and turn back up. I don't want my boy to witness the anguish his mother is going through. He fights enough battles of his own for me to dump mine on him also. He's just a baby.

I walk towards the washroom and close the door behind me. I open the cold water tap and wash my face. I take a towel and tap my face dry. I look at in the mirror and find someone starring back at me. She is talking to me because deep down inside she is suffering. "Who are you?" she asks. "Why are you allowing yourself to be a victim?" I look at myself and feel sadness creep over me. I then clear my throat and tell myself "You are such a strong woman. You are brave, beautiful, resilient, ambitious and intelligent." Stand up for your rights and don't let him trample over your heart. I smile at the woman in the mirror and powder my face. I feel much better and I turn around to open the door. I go downstairs and set the table. I dish up and call everyone to the table. We all take our seats and say a prayer before we start eating. "Wow mommy this food is yummy!" Aiden exclaimed, his father giving him a glance. It is indeed delicious my boy, he says looking at me. This man is a mystery that I just can't seem to solve. He has changed a lot and it worries me, or am I looking too much into this??? Only time will tell..