Fighting Temptations

Chapter 3 "I love you"

I tuck Aiden into his bed and read him a bedtime story. He loves these so much because it gives us a chance to explore into an imaginary enchanted world. We are quite close and I love it. He is my number one man, who would never hurt me such as a life companion would. After I read him the story and we make up imaginary scenes I sing him a lullaby and his eyes are slowly closing. I stand up and go out of his room switching off the light. I enter into our room and feel the atmosphere somewhat has changed. "Babe can u please come here for a moment," I hear. I take light strides to the side of the bed and take a seat next to him. He looks at me with deep dark eyes and takes my hand into his big warm hands. "You are my wife," he starts. I look at him quizzically. He has always been good with words hence I'm sitting on this bed with him now. I feel my heart flutter and my throat constricted. My eyes dilating cause I'm not sure where this is going. "You are the mother of my child!" Okay now this is becoming weirder by the minute. "We have been through so much together and would not want anything or anyone to come between us," he continues. I swallow gulps of air as this is becoming very uncomfortable for me. "You are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with and have no regrets marrying you." I love you Mrs Johnson. I look at him with a puzzled face and think to myself where all of this is coming from. Oh goodness could it be that he knows what has transpired between Cyp and I. I feel the cold beads of sweat forming on my forehead. My palms are sweating and I feel the need to get some air. My mind is running away with me and I feel as though i have become a mute. After a while the silence was so deafening i stood up and told him I need to use the bathroom.. Was I insensitive for not responding to his outpouring or is my guilt taking control of me. I'm at a crossroads and it seems that it is driving me insane. I walk into the bathroom and stay inside for quite some time. I question myself, "Is this man for real? One minute he is hot the next he is cold ever since we got hitched. He does as he pleases and has become verbally, physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive. Everytime he speaks I should listen and believe his words. I'm here with a glimmer of hope that things would change and go back to how they were before. He knows that I love him and our boy very much but it doesn't give him the right to treat us like that.

I eventually decided to come out and continue the conversation. When I enter the room he is already under the covers and he looks at me and smiles. "Come join me for some quality time," he says. I look at him quizzically and frown at those words. It's something we haven't done in such a long time. I undress and put on a loose cotton short and a shirt and get in next to him. He pulls me closer to him and gives me a kiss on the forehead. I feel like checking this guy's temperature but I'm a bit hesitant. He utters a few words that don't make sense and then all of a sudden apologizes for the way he has been treating me. A part of me felt good and another part was questioning how long this charade will last for. I give of a smile and tell him it's all good but deep down I'm fighting a battle of temptations. "Can my life get any more complicated than what it is now?" I ask myself. Just then I feel his face in my neck breathing warm air into me and kissing my neck going down slowly. My mind drifts, Is this all I'm good for to my dear Mr Johnson I think. I avert my mind back and go along with the action taking place now. He takes my shirt off and sucks my n*****s and down the valley of my breasts to the other one. He slides down my stomach with soft kisses and eventually takes of my shorts. I feel soaked underneath as I think "Damn girl, two guys in one day, this is your new record or is it?" He slides his tongue into my opening exploring every avenue and I feel very turned on. He takes off his boxers and slowly approaches me as if a lion creeping up on its prey. He rubs his p***s against my c**t and I feel like I want to explode and cover him with my love. He finally slides it in and goes back and forth gently and it sends shivers down my spine that I arch my back. He moans from satisfaction and thrusts harder and faster. We both seem to have reached our climax as I dig my nails into him and hold him tight and so he grabs me around the shoulders and gives of a pleased moan. He kisses my forehead and says "You never disappoint!" Should I feel bad about the occurrence of today I think and it leaves me feeling so guilty. If only he were consistent in his behaviour, we would not be in such a messed up triangle and I would not be at this crossroad that is taking a toll on my mentality. I hate how much I love my husband and then I'm conflicted with feelings of falling for another man. These feelings are overwhelming me right now as my chest feels like it's caving in. Where do I go from here. Is this the life I'm destined to live. I cling tighter to him and feel a tear escapes the corner of my eye..