Moth to Flame

CHAPTER 6.1

Mia

His chest was even better than I remembered, but he had bruises - a lot of bruises. There was no way my punches had done that much damage. I broke our kiss so I could ask him about the injuries.

"What happened, Ethan? You look like you got hit by a truck. Surely, I didn't do all of that," I said, pointing at the large marks on his stomach.

"Don't worry about it, baby doll. Let's just say I got what I deserved for treating you like s**t," he said, smirking.

That could only mean one thing. "You mean Wyatt did this to you?"

He looked like he really didn't want to talk about it, but he replied. "No, it wasn't just Wyatt. Frank and Abigail had a 'talk' with me, too. Once they found out what happened between us, they took your side over mine. I couldn't f*****g believe it."

I couldn't hold back any longer. I started laughing. Ethan took that as his cue to start kissing me again.

"You know, you can kiss it and make it better, baby doll."

I pushed him back on to the sofa and straddled his hips. I licked and kissed every part of him. I didn't have any experience with intimacy, but everything came natural with Ethan. He was moaning deep in his throat. I felt bold, so I moved my hand down to his pants and squeezed his erect p***s. He opened his eyes, and I was surprised to see they were on fire.

"Not yet, baby doll. You first," he said, gripping my hips hard in his hand.

My underwear was already gone. Ethan began removing my skirt. Once he got it off of me, he threw it down on the ground. Then, he untied the bows on my halter top. It fluttered down to my waist leaving my breasts exposed.

"Christ, baby doll. You're more beautiful than I f*****g remembered," he said.

I could barely form a sentence, but I knew I shouldn't be letting him do that to me again. I was going to be really hurt when he threw me away. I was like a crack addict who needed a high, and I didn't care what it cost me.

Ethan sucked my n*****s into his mouth. I watched them get redder after he was done. He pulled my top over my head. I was completely naked, except for my thigh high boots. I went to take them off, but Ethan stopped me.

"No. You're f*****g sexy with those on and nothing else. I want you just like this."

Ethan spread my legs further apart, and then began kissing and licking my neck. My body was on fire. I was sure I had to be soaking his pants. He must have thought so, too. He lifted me up, so he could unbutton and kick off his bottoms. He was wearing dark blue silk boxers. I could see his erection poking out of them. Ethan was big, very big - so big that I wasn't sure he would fit inside me.

I bit Ethan's earlobe. He moaned so loud it echoed through the room. Thank god no one else worked up here and that the door was closed. I needed to feel him. My body was in flames. I just needed a release.

"Please, Ethan. Touch me where I need you most," I whimpered.

"Baby doll, are you sure?" he asked, looking deep in my eyes.

"Oh yes, Ethan. Please just touch me there," I begged, pointing at my dripping core.

He glanced at me one more time before he dipped one of his long fingers into me. "s**t, baby doll. You're so f*****g wet for me. Your p***y is so damn tight and hot. I can't wait to feel it on my cock."

He pushed his finger in and out of me at a glorious pace, and then he added a second finger. I bucked hard. "More please, Ethan! I need more," I moaned losing all my inhibitions in the moment.

He added a third finger and pressed my c**t at the same time while also biting my neck. I couldn't hold it anymore. I exploded into a million little fragments of light. I made the most ridiculous noises and shook uncontrollably. It was the most intense feeling I'd ever had in my life. Of course I'd touched myself and had mini orgasms before, but the real thing was different. It was filet mignon after a life of soy paste.

I clung to Ethan as I came down off my high. My bare breasts molded to his hard chest. I felt his heart beating against mine. I kissed him hard as the last shudders wracked my body.

"Ethan, that was mind blowing. Thank you," I breathed.

"You don't have to thank me, baby doll. It was my pleasure," he said while squeezing me tighter and tucking my head into his neck.

"And I guess I'm not such a prick after all, because you let me see your thong."

With that statement, cold hard reality came back to me. The whole thing had been a joke to him. He had just used me again to prove a point. He didn't care about me, he just wanted to show me he was dominant. And like an i***t, I had let him make a fool of me. I stiffened and lifted my head to look at Ethan's face, his smirking smug face. The expression confirmed it.

"What the hell did you just say, Sodero?"

"I... what's wrong, Mia? Why are you getting up? What did I say? Whatever it is, I'm sorry. I don't want us to fight anymore."

"Your innocent act is not going to work with me, Ethan Sodero. Christ, I am so gullible when it comes to you. Let me go. I want to clean up," I pleaded as I squirmed trying to escape his arms.

"I don't know what the f**k you're babbling about, Mia, but you're wrong. Here, I'll take you to wash up."

With that, he tossed me over his shoulder and went over to the bookcase. I was livid. How dare the bastard just cart me around like a sack of feed. I started kicking in an attempt to get him to release me.

"Calm down, tigress. I'm just taking you to my lair so you can freshen up. We can talk in there."

"Your lair? Is that where you slaughter unsuspecting virgins and sacrifice them to your god?"

I was still kicking. Ethan reached up and slapped me hard on my bare ass. "Ouch, you prick, that hurt!"

"I told you to calm down. But you didn't listen, so I had to discipline you, baby doll." He was laughing. I gave up fighting afraid he would spank me again. I heard him punch some numbers into a keypad. Then, there was the sound of keys unlocking a door.

We were in some kind of apartment, but no one had told me there was an apartment up here. It must have been hidden, which explained why we'd been at the bookcase. The room was behind the shelves. It was so dark I couldn't see anything. Then, all of a sudden, a bright light filled the room. Ethan put me down. I swayed because I was slightly dizzy. He caught and steadied me as I looked around.

There was a large bathroom with a huge Jacuzzi tub surrounded by plush carpet. The place really was a lair. The toilet, Jacuzzi, and both sinks were black and all of them had brass fixtures. The walls were painted a cream color and provided the only softness in the room. The floors and the counters were black marble. The tub faced a TV mounted on the wall. There were lots of red, black, and gold towels with the letters ES on them, and there was a towel warmer in the corner. The only feminine touch was the bowls filled with potpourri.

"Wow," I breathed, stunned at how masculine and sinister the room looked.

"Do you like it?" Ethan asked. He looked nervous for some reason.

"It's kind of scary but sexy, too. I like it a lot, Ethan." My words described not only the bathroom but Ethan. He was both scary and sexy.

His lips broke out into a brilliant smile. "That makes me so f*****g happy, baby doll. I want us to share this apartment." He left for a minute and came back with a large Dartmouth shirt, white socks, and a pair of silky blue underwear.

"These are for you. I'm sorry I messed up your clothes. The panties are brand new. I got them from one of the club's patrons who owns a lingerie boutique. He gave me lots of women's lingerie in exchange for VIP tickets. I was going to give them to Abigail; but that just felt creepy so I kept them."

His eyes were starting to get dark again. I ushered him out of the bathroom so I could freshen up before he grabbed me. I stripped off my boots and looked around the massive bathroom. It was bigger than my entire room.

I didn't understand Ethan when he was sweet. Most of the time he acted like an asshole, but sometimes he could be playful and gentle. I wondered which man was the real Ethan Sodero.

Since I felt sticky, I took a quick shower. I used his soap. My body tingled under the hot massaging cascade of water. I didn't wash my hair again, because it was still clean and curly. After I dried off, I slipped on Ethan's big t-shirt and the underwear.

I ventured out into the rest of the apartment and spotted Ethan at the table, eating from my picnic basket. He was relaxed with a smile on his lips.

"Mr. Sodero, I did not give you permission to eat my food. Put it back now!" I was still a little angry at Ethan. I would keep my promise and not pamper him.

"I'm sorry, Mia, but I saw you fix a plate for Chanel and Frank. I assumed you made dinner for us all tonight. Besides, this is f*****g awesome." He attempted to stuff a whole panini in to his mouth. I couldn't stay mad at him when he was being so adorable.

He had set everything up on the kitchen bar. I reached over and grabbed some food and crudités. I added some of the raw vegetables to Ethan's plate. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I pointed at it and mouthed eat. He mumbled something that sounded like 'f*****g vegetables' and then popped a carrot in his mouth. I giggled even harder.

We sat on tall kitchen stools eating in relative silence. Ethan was moaning, but there was no other noise. I felt a terrible sense of déjà vu, but I pushed it away to enjoy the moment. After his third slice of cheesecake, Ethan declared himself full.

"Finally." I muttered. He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.

"You know you secretly love feeding me. Don't you, baby doll?" I blushed as usual and Ethan smirked.

He asked me about cooking for him regularly and suggested he would pay me extra. I informed him he could buy the groceries but wouldn't have to give me any money. He argued but relented when I pointed out the mutual benefits. I would get to do something I loved, and he would pay for the ingrediants. It was a win-win situation for both of us.

He showed me the bedroom and the living room. All the furniture was extremely expensive and well made. I blushed when he let me lay on the bed. Ethan just smirked. The bedroom was too dangerous, so I asked him to continue the tour.

We went outto the dining area which had a small French bistro table. The living room was huge and consisted of a big leather couch, another massive flatscreen tv, a bookcase full of books, and some coffee tables. There was also a large baby grand piano in the corner.

I walked over to it, letting my fingers graze lightly over the keys. "Do you play, Ethan? I asked.

"Yeah, I f*****g play but not much lately. I'll have to play something for you someday," he promised.

"I'll be waiting," I said blushing. One of my fantasies was to be made love to on a piano.

Ethan must have been able to read my mind because he said, "You're going to f*****g kill me, baby doll."

I thought about last night and the girl. I had to ask. "Ethan, did Paula give you a blowjob? I just need to know. I mean, I know you've probably slept with her. Never mind." I couldn't go on.

"Hell no! I f*****g told you last night that it wasn't what it looked like. That b***h came onto me, and you walked in while I was trying to pry her off my d**k. Yes, I f****d her before…way before I met you. I’ll never touch her skanky ass again. I haven't f****d anyone else since I kissed you."

It made me feel good to know Ethan wasn't sleeping around anymore. I hated to admit the thought of him with other women made me jealous. I wanted Ethan all to myself.

I walked over to kiss him. Our tongues mingled lazily while we held on to each other. We stood there making out for almost an hour before the rest of the planet seeped in our bubble. Ethan's cell phone buzzed, and he reached over to grab it. I could hear Wyatt's loud voice on the other end. He was screaming at Ethan, demanding to know where I was.

I’d lost track of time and forgotten I was supposed to meet he and Abigail downstairs during my break. We were supposed to go and get coffee. Ethan passed me the phone. I told Wyatt I was fine. He said we'd talk about it later, and then told me to hand the phone back to Ethan. He threatened Ethan for a few more minutes before hanging up.

"Your brother is really f*****g intense, but he loves you." Ethan was playing with a wayward curl of my hair.

"Mia, what you said earlier… it wasn't true. I lied to you yesterday. Wednesday night was special to me. I didn't sleep with any other women. The truth is you're all I thought about the nights we were apart. I was just trying to protect you, because you don't know who I really am and what I'm involved in. If you did, you would be in danger. I was just trying to keep you safe, but I can't stay away from you any longer."

"What do you mean, Ethan? Who are you? I don't understand why you would lie to me." I was confused. Nothing he said made sense.

"I can't tell you everything, baby doll, but I'm a dangerous man. I wouldn't be able to live if something happened to you because of what I am. I'm not good and innocent like you. I'm a goddamned killer. I've killed before. I don't f*****g deserve you. You shouldn't let my sorry ass near you, but you do. Each time it kills me, because I'm condemning you to share my personal hell. I mean f**k, you're here in my f*****g lair. I usually don't let anyone inside." Ethan looked utterly defeated.

I didn't believe it. Sure Ethan was vulgar and arrogant, but I couldn't imagine him being a murderer.

I wrapped my arms around his waist. "Who did you kill, Ethan?" I whispered.

"Does it f*****g matter?"

I nodded.

"If you must know, I killed the goddamned, c**k-sucking bastard who murdered my father. I was seventeen at the time. I walked in on it, and I shot the son of a b***h in the head."

I gasped loudly. Ethan must have taken it as a sign of disgust, because he tried to pull away from me. I pulled his chin up so I could look in to his eyes. "Good for you, Ethan. Thank you for telling me the truth."

He was taken aback I hadn't ridiculed him about it. "You're not disgusted with me, baby doll?"

"Of course not, Ethan. Do you know how many times I've wanted to kill the drunk driver who took my mother away from me? You were a teenager and you were scared. You saw your father dead and you panicked."

He pulled away from me. "It wasn't like that, Mia. I didn't see my father before I shot the guy. I didn't even f*****g think. I'm a f*****g monster. I've done drugs and f****d way too many bitches. I drink like a f*****g fish and do lots of illegal s**t. As if that isn't bad enough, I had to drag your innocent ass down to hell with me."

"You are not a monster, Ethan. You sensed your father was dead, and you protected yourself. That man could have killed you too or gotten away. I don't care about who you've slept with or how many drugs you've done as long as it's in your past. You didn't drag me anywhere. I chose you."

I was about to put it all on the line. I stood up and hugged Ethan forcing him to look at me. "I love you, Ethan. Even when you were breaking my heart, I loved you. I know we've only known each other less than a week, but we are fated. I never felt attraction before I met you. It's like I recognized you in my heart."

In response, Ethan did the last thing I expected of him. He started crying. "Mia, I love you, too. I'm not good at it, and I don't know how to not hurt you. I'm s**t at caring about people. I couldn't stand to cause you anymore pain. I love you, baby doll. It f*****g scares me how much you mean to me."

I held him while we both sobbed. I noticed it was almost closing time, and we had yet to do any work. I asked Ethan about it, and he assured me being here together was more important. I had to agree.

There was still one question eating away at me. "Ethan, who are you? You said who you are could hurt me. Please, I need to know. I love you. There shouldn't be any secrets between us." I kissed his jaw and waited for a response.

He stiffened. "I can't tell you that. Let's just go to bed, baby doll. We can talk in the morning." He stood up and tried to pull me along with him.

I couldn't let this happen again. I needed answers now. "No, Ethan. We need to talk now. Why can't you just let me know the real you?"

He was angry - I could see the hard set of his jaw. "Why can't you just let this f*****g go? Do you have to be so goddamned nosy? If I say it's too dangerous for you to know then it is, end of story. Let's go to bed. I won't tolerate disobedience from you, Mia."

His words hit me like a cold cup of water. I couldn't be with Ethan if he wouldn't give me everything. I could deal with a lot, but I demanded honesty and truth if we were going to be intimate.

I snatched my arm away from him. "I'm not going to bed with you. You say you love me, but you keep secrets from me. You demand I do whatever you want and treat me like a child. I want you to let me out. I'm going to find Wyatt so he can take me home."

Ethan hissed, cursed, and let go of my hand. "Fine, if that's what you f*****g want then leave. You won't get another chance. I said I love you. But if you don't believe me when I say this s**t is too dangerous for you, it's better we don't get involved any further. It's probably not love anyway. My hormones are making me say stupid s**t, because my d**k wants to feel you. Just spend the night with me. I can make you feel good, and you can make me feel good. Then we can work better together without all of this s****l tension."

I started to cry. Ethan wrapped his arms around me. "Please Mia, just stay with me tonight."

He was looking in my eyes. I felt a strong pull to him. I almost gave in because he looked so lonely. He was begging me.

"I'm sorry, Ethan. I love you. Though that may not mean much to you, but it means everything to me. I don't love easily or often because I'm afraid of being left alone. When I do love, it's with all my heart. You're the first man I've ever loved and desired. I'm willing to trust you with my heart, soul, and body. Until you can trust me with the same, we can't be together," I whispered, wiping tears from my eyes.

Ethan let go of me and backed away. "You f*****g c**k tease! I don't need you. Just get out. I don't want to see you. You have tomorrow and Monday off. Enjoy yourself. Go see Trevor or any of the other fuckers you're probably leading on. I don't need you, I don't need anyone. I'm Ethan-f*****g-Sodero. I'm rich, good looking, and an excellent f**k. If you don't want to share my bed, I bet there are plenty of others who would be willing."

He was trying to act tough, but I could see it was a facade. My refusal had hurt him, and he didn't want me to know it.

"I still love you, Ethan. Nothing you say will ever change that. When you're ready, I'll be waiting."

I kissed him on the cheek. "Keep the food with you. If you need a good meal, come by and see me. We are friends. I know it will work out for us once you fight your demons. I'm not trying to be a tease. I fully intend to let you make love to me someday. It's just that I can't live with a broken heart anymore. I need it all, Ethan." I was pleading, baring my soul for him, but he wasn't reciprocating.

"I'll let you out, Mia."

He got up to open the door, and then, I was standing in his office next to the bookcase. I picked up my skirt and put it on. I was about to hand Ethan his shirt when he stopped me.

"Keep it, baby doll. You look damn sexy in my clothes. I'm happy at least a part of me can sleep with you."

"Ethan…" I looked up, trying to convey to him that I was sorry.

"Just go, darling. I'll see you Tuesday. Enjoy your days off." He turned to go back in to his lair.

"I love you, Ethan," I whispered to his retreating form.

It was almost soundless, but I could swear I heard him reply, "I love you, too, baby doll."

Sighing, I packed up my clothes, fixed my desk, and called down for Frank to escort me to the garage. I wanted to go back to Ethan; but I knew that if I did, we'd just end up having s*x and our relationship would never go any further. I intended to have all of Ethan and not just the pieces he chose to give me. With one last glance around the office, I turned the lights off and walked out.