Moth to Flame

CHAPTER 6

Mia

I had been so stupid. I had fallen for everything Ethan said - hook, line, and sinker. I had given him pieces of me I'd never given another man. The saddest thing was that I had really loved him. If I was honest with myself, I still did. I hated him for making me one of those women, the ones who loved some guy who felt absolutely nothing in return. He’d made me a pathetic pile of mush I'd been lately, and I would never forgive him for that. 

 After my first night at the club, I’d ridden home with Wyatt. He’d asked me how my day went, and I had confessed everything. Wyatt had stopped the car to turn around and kill Ethan, but I’d told him I would rather he took me home. He’d agreed only because of how emotionally drained I looked. He had known a confrontation between he and Ethan would only add to my stress. 

When we had gotten to our apartment, Wyatt called Abigail to tell her goodnight and assure her would see her the next day. I heard him tell her that he loved her and that he would miss her. Hearing Wyatt confess his love to Abigail made me cry, because he could say those words to her and hear them back. 

Unfortunately, my heart had chosen a man who would never feel or say those words to me.  I wished I had stuck to my guns when I told Ethan I didn't want to work at the club. Like the rat he was, he had used my Achilles heel, Wyatt, to thwart my decision. I would have to spend five days a week with the devil.

One good thing had come out of our contact with Ethan, though. Wyatt had found his soul mate. I'd met Abigail when Wyatt returned from Chicago. They couldn't bear to be apart, so she had spent the night at our apartment.

I loved Abigail from our first meeting. She’d hugged me and told me we were going to be best friends. Oddly enough, she was right. She was such a girlie girl. Usually I avoided her type, but Abigail had a heart of gold underneath her superficial exterior. She liked expensive things and shopping, but she was loyal. Plus, she really loved my brother. 

She'd told me about her eating disorder and how she’d almost died. I had been shocked. I promised her I would make sure she always ate well. Wyatt assured her I could be pretty stubborn. Abigail had giggled and called me a foodie.

Abigail was so tiny, but she was a ball of energy that couldn't be stopped. I couldn't believe someone as great as her was related to Ethan. He was the only topic we disagreed about. Abigail believed her brother had led a difficult life and was misunderstood. But I believed that he was an evil, sadistic opportunist who preyed on women's emotions…specifically mine. Still I loved Abigail, so I tried to keep my opinions to myself.

I was so lost in thought I didn't comprehend Wyatt was speaking to me until he started waving his hands. He wanted me to take the phone so Abigail could talk to me. We chatted for a bit about shopping and other random things. After about ten minutes, she was ready to hang up and go to bed. I handed the phone back to Wyatt. He gave her one last 'I love you' and hung up. 

Wyatt and I spent the rest of the night eating ice cream and watching movies. I fell asleep on the couch around five in the morning. He carried me up to my room.

I had nightmares about Ethan all night. The one who had given him a blowjob in his office was having s*x with him. He was taking her from behind while I was strapped to an office chair. In the nightmare, both of them taunted me. They said all kinds of filthy things as I squirmed trying to escape. Eventually, dream Ethan and Paula orgasmed. Ethan told me to clean it up. I was crying as he called me a pathetic b***h. 

That dream ran into the one I always had; the one where my parents were beckoning me to join them, but I never made it in time. This time my deterrent was quicksand which separated me from Mitch and Amy who were standing on a beach.

I awoke with a wet pillow and a heavy heart. I had a massive headache, so I reached into my nightstand and took out two Advil. I retrieved a water bottle from my desk and swallowed the pills in one gulp. When I looked over at the clock, I saw that it was two in the afternoon. I had been asleep for almost nine hours. 

 Great. Now I only have five hours until I have to see Ethan Sodero.

 Later, I decided to take a shower and cook before it was time to head to the club. It was Saturday, the biggest patronage night at most clubs. I knew I was going to need some de-stressing before going into the lion’s den.

I put on my robe and shuffled to the shower. Being in the water always helped me relax. When I was younger, I’d loved to swim. I still went to UW's gym to get some laps in every now and again. I wasn't tall enough to be a great swimmer, but I managed. I'd even been a swim instructor to some smaller kids in the past. I loved children, and teaching them to be safe in the water was very important to me.

 I put a sad song on my speaker and sang along with it while I shampooed my hair. Sadly, it was too late to save myself from falling in love with an asshole. If there was some therapy to make me forget, like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I would have given up everything I owned to get it. More than anything, I wanted Ethan gone from my memories and my mind. I had known him less than a week, and he had already managed to ruin my life.

 After the hot water ran out, I stepped out of the shower and threw on some comfy clothes. I needed to go downstairs and make dinner. I knew I was doing things backwards by showering before I cooked, but I’d needed the heat so I could function.

I wasn't planning on making anything too complicated, so I wouldn't get dirty. I looked in the refrigerator for several minutes before I got the idea to make paninis for dinner. Yesterday, I had been happy when cooking, because I was making something special for Ethan. Today, I was just going through the motions. I wouldn't be feeding Ethan anymore. He wouldn't appreciate it, and he sure as hell didn't deserve the gift of my cooking skills after he tapdanced all over my heart.

 I remembered the things Ethan had told me, about how he was just trying to 'f**k' me. How I 'wasn't worth the effort’. My stomach would turn to ice. I had to hug myself to get warm again. Ethan Sodero had torn me apart, and I was just trying to hold whatever was left together. I made the chicken, ham, and mozzarella paninis; added some salt and vinegar chips and crudités. Then, I wrapped everything up and placed it into a large picnic basket. I started making strawberry cheesecake for desert.

When I was finished, I felt better than I had all day. Cooking really centered me. Wyatt was out with Abigail. But he was going to be by later to get me so we could all ride to work together. Abigail didn't officially work at the club, but she’d decorated most of the floors and helped some of the working girls pick out their outfits. I suspected Wyatt would be too wrapped up in Abigail to eat, so I had packed enough food for all of us plus Frank. There would probably be leftovers, but I would certainly not be sharing with Ethan.

Wyatt was shocked that I knew the club employed prostitutes. I was not as naive as he and Ethan liked to think. I knew what a working girl looked like, and I didn't look down on them or think it was wrong. If a grown woman or man wanted to make money by selling themselves for s*x, then it was their choice. I only had a problem with it if people were forced into the lifestyle or it involved children and teens.

After I was done cooking, I went back upstairs to check my email. I hadn't wanted to take the Macbook Ethan bought me, but it was so cute and shiny. Besides, he’d said it was for work. I felt justified in bringing it home. 

I opened it up and signed into my email account. I had several messages, mostly from old college friends and from parents of the kids I used to babysit. Many of them sent me pictures of their growing kids and well wishes. Wyatt and I planned to visit Sequim soon, so we could see our old hometown again.

I had started babysitting in high school. I had really wanted to work at Trevor's family store, but Wyatt didn't trust Trevor to be alone with me. He had forbidden me from having any other job except babysitting. He’d even insisted on screening the parents. I loved all the kids. I’d made enough money to buy my first laptop - the very one I still owned. Wyatt had wanted to get me one, but I felt he'd already done enough for me. My computer had been very new and state of the art six years ago.

Thinking of Trevor made me smile. He had always been a good friend to me. I knew he had had a crush on me in high school, but I just hadn’t felt that way about him. He and I had remained friends, though.  I felt bad Ethan had assaulted him simply because he’d touched me. I mean, I was not Sodero's property. He had no right to try and stake his claim on me. He was the one who had basically said he didn't want me. Then he went and acted like a Neanderthal.

Trevor had been at the club with some friends because it was his first night back from Iraq. He was married. He'd told me about his wife and their little girl. He’d showed me pictures of his beautiful family. I was truly glad to see Trevor happy. We hadn't really kept in touch. But when he found out he would be in Seattle, he'd decided to look me up. He lived in South Carolina, but he’d told me he missed the fog and rain of the northwest. We'd stood outside reminiscing until Trevor's buddies texted him to come back to the club.

I told him goodnight and then went back to my office where I’d proceeded to feed Ethan dinner. Sodero had been cruel and called me baby doll, reminding me of just how callous he was with my feelings. Well there would be no more nice Mia Watson. In fact, I wasn't going to even talk to the prick. He’d touched my body like he wanted me, when all the time he had been having a bit of fun toying with the stupid virgin.  Just because I was a virgin didn't mean I was passive and weak.

I had beaten the living daylights out of Ethan. I’d felt kind of bad afterwards, but looking back on it made me laugh. He hadn't expected it and hadn't even tried to fight. He had accused me of trying to castrate him, and I should have. Assholes like Sodero didn't need to procreate. He would probably end up knocking up a w***e like Paula and get stuck with a kid they would just pass off to some expensive nanny. I was saving him all that trouble by kneeing him in the crotch. I had already decided I was going to start showing Ethan I wasn't a doormat he could walk all over.

I pulled out one of my very few sexy outfits my college roommate had picked out for me. Joanne hadn't been one of those sexy girls herself. She was like me. We preferred to be comfortable. I missed Joanne all the time. She had married her college sweetheart, Greg, and they worked in the Peace Corps. Her last postcard told me they were in Honduras. They travelled to some of the most remote places, but Joanne always managed to get word to me that she was okay and happy. She and Greg would be coming for a visit in a few months. I was glad, because I needed her insight into the whole Ethan Sodero thing.

One night on a dare, Joanne and I had gone to the local mall and picked out three sexy outfits for each other promising to only wear them when we needed an extra boost of self-esteem. I didn't really like guys drooling all over me. But I didn't mind making Ethan jealous - not that he would be. It would make me feel good, though. I would show him what he so easily passed up by choosing to be with a w***e.

I reached into the back of the closet and took out the outfit I knew would work. It consisted of a denim, dark blue mini skirt which stopped mid-thigh; a sleeveless, silky, black double bowtie halter top that left most of my back bare; and black leather thigh-high boots with heels.  Since I planned on being inside all night, I wasn't going to bother with pantyhose.

I stood in the mirror putting my long dark hair into cascading curls which would hang down my back. Usually I didn't wear makeup, but I was going all out.  I pulled up a smoky eye makeup tutorial on YouTube and used the cosmetic kit someone had given me last Christmas to give myself what the video called 'bedroom eyes’. With that done; I dabbed some red lipstick on my lips, applied mascara, and spritzed on perfume.

I wasn't planning on wearing a bra because it would show, and my breasts weren't all that big anyway. Maybe that was why Ethan doesn't desire me. It didn't matter, though. I liked myself. 

Looking in the mirror I had to say I looked damn good, especially for the pathetic little virgin Mr. Sodero thought I was. The only jewelry I wore was my angel necklace.

By the time I finished getting dressed and doing my hair and makeup, I only had thirty minutes until Wyatt would be by to get me. When he pulled up, he was not pleased to say the least. We spent twenty minutes arguing because he wanted me to go back inside and change. I refused by saying I worked in a club, so I might was well dress the part. Wyatt said he wouldn't let his baby sis be a w***e. After that, I didn't talk to him for the rest of the drive. When we arrived, I handed Wyatt the dinner I’d packed for him and Abigail.

I walked over to Frank. He looked at me strangely, but thankfully he refrained from expressing his opinion on the matter. He just took my bags and helped me on to the elevator. He and I had developed a somewhat strange relationship. He'd ended up sleeping over on Thursday. I’d cooked for him, but he never spoke. If I didn't know better, I would have thought he was mute. He was extremely quiet, but he had a calm about him that made me feel safe even though he was so much bigger than me.

 When I got to the office, my area was empty. I could hear Ethan talking to someone in his office. Frank set down my bags, and then proceeded to leave. Before he could, I went into the kitchenette and grabbed a large Tupperware container. I put two Paninis, chips, and some cheesecake inside and handed it to him. He looked shocked but composed himself and thanked me before heading out.

 I was still unpacking when I heard a soft voice greet me. "Hello, you must be Mia. My name is Chanel. I work here, too. I thought I should introduce myself," a blonde woman said while holding her hand out to me.

She was wearing a knee-length, fitted sweater dress with high heels. Everything she wore looked designer and expensive. I was immediately suspicious. Ethan hadn't told me about a Chanel. Could she be one of his previous lovers? Maybe she and Ethan had had s*x before I’d entered the office. Thinking of the two of them together made me sick.

 "Um, yes. It's nice to meet you too, Chanel. Do you work with Wyatt?" She seemed conflicted for a moment, but then continued. "I wish. Wyatt's a great guy. He's your brother, right?"  I nodded.  

 "Mia, you are aware this club has escorts?" 

 I told her yes. 

 "Well, I'm the head of them. I manage all the girls and keep things from getting too rowdy." She was the Madame of Club HADES, so I knew she and Ethan had slept together. He’d already confessed he had been intimate with every woman who worked for him. He was a w***e, plain and simple. He didn't do it for money, though. He did it for control.

Chanel must have sensed what I was thinking. "Before you ask, Ethan and I have never slept together. I'm sure you know he has slept with almost every other woman who works here. I find it vile, but that's just Ethan. He does what and whom he wants."

I knew Ethan all right. I knew he was a cold, lying bastard. She smiled at me. I liked how honest she was being, so I offered her some dinner. She took a panini and some cheesecake saying she had to watch her figure. She was already gorgeous with pale blonde hair which fell a little past her shoulders and big sparkling hazel eyes. Her figure was slender, but she had full breasts and long legs. She was much taller than me. Her thinness made her look sophisticated.

I, on the other hand, had hips which were too big and a prominent butt with smallish breasts. Ethan had said he loved my body, but of course it had all been a lie. I could see him with someone like Chanel, someone who was professional and worldly. She was technically a prostitute, but she carried herself well. Ethan had said he liked experienced women. 

Chanel and I chatted about everything while she ate and I worked on the filing system. She told me all the club secrets and listed all of Ethan's scorned women who worked at HADES. She promised she would keep them away from me as much as possible.

It turned out her real name was Catherine Hamilton; but she used Chanel because it was her favorite designer and it sounded more like an escort name. Her sister, Kelly, had been Ethan's last secretary. I relayed to her what Ethan previously told me about Kelly. Catherine assured me it was all true.

According to her, Kelly was a lazy gold digger who wanted to get things the easy way. A few months ago, Kelly had set her sights on Ethan and would not take no for an answer. Catherine had begged to have her transferred, so she would at least still have a job. Unfortunately, Kelly still insisted on contacting Ethan. I thought about the phrase about ‘not shitting where you eat’. Someone should have told Ethan. 

 We were so caught up in our conversation that we didn't see him come into the room. "Chanel, what the f**k are you still doing here, and why are you talking to Mia?" 

He looked devastatingly handsome in black dress pants and a blue button-down he had rolled up to the elbows. His luscious hair was in disarray as usual. His blue eyes were alight with fire.  I wished my body didn't respond to him, but it did. I felt the wetness building between my thighs. Thankfully, my lower body was hidden from view by the massive desk. I just had to be strong and not let him know he affected me, and then I would be all right.

I had almost forgotten Chanel was still there until she spoke. "Well, Ethan. Unlike you, Mia has manners and fed me dinner. I was on my way out."  She picked up the container which held her cheesecake and put it into her purse.

"Bye, Mia. I'll come visit you some other time if your daddy lets you out to play," she said, winking at me. "Come see me anytime. Thanks, Catherine." Ethan looked surprised I knew her real name. Catherine kissed me on the cheek. Then, she waved at Ethan and left.

 He was looking at me with a mixture of apprehension and disgust on his face. I guess he didn't like me having other friends at the club, but he would have to get over it. Catherine and Frank were my friends, and I wasn't going to give them up for Ethan.

 "Mia, I need to see you in my office for a few minutes. Bring a binder and notebook with you. We need to go over liquor sales before we order a new shipment."

So, I guess Ethan was going to follow my earlier plea and keep our 'relationship' professional. That was fine with me. I didn't bother to reply. I was giving him the silent treatment because he was an asshole.  I grabbed my things, added a dab of lip gloss, and headed into his office.

 I knew the second Ethan noticed what I was wearing, because he made a noise which sounded like a half groan and half growl.

 "f**k! Why the hell did Wyatt let you go out of the house wearing that outfit? I mean f**k, you look like a slut. I forbid you to leave this office unless you change into something decent. You f*****g know better! You can't wear s**t like that inside this place. I mean s**t! I can almost see your c**t in that skirt, and those heels scream 'dirty bathroom f**k girl’. Is that what you want, a cheap f**k in the one of the club's public restrooms? Are you that desperate to lose your virginity, or are you just too f*****g horny? Because if you are, I'll let you go into petty cash to buy yourself a vibrator.

"Mia, just go change."

I was angry. How dare he try to control me. I didn't belong to him. I'd thought he would at least find me sexy, but he talked to me like he would a naïve teenage sister. I had sworn not speak to him, but I was too pissed to hold off. 

"You hypocritical asshole! You have some stripper give you a blowjob in your office with the door open - " he was trying to interrupt, but I went on, "and you accuse me of being a slut. What? Just because you're a man you can't be a w***e, is that it?

"To answer your question. No, Wyatt didn't let me leave the house like this. He had the same reaction as you. I put him in his place. This is a club. You never specified workplace attire in my contract, so my outfit is appropriate. I can and will wear what I want, where I want. As long as it doesn't hinder my job performance, it's none of your damn business.

 "And no, Mr. Sodero. I am not desperate or horny. If I was, I could have sunk so low as to sleep with the manwhore that is Ethan Sodero. You would know about 'bathroom f**k girls' because you're the guy they're f*****g. You're just as nasty and degenerate as you think they are. As for the vibrator, keep your money. Unlike you, I get pleasure from more than just s*x. 

 “Oh, and Mr. Sodero. If you ever forbid me to do something again, I will give you round two of our fight night." With that parting shot. I pulled out my binder and took the seat across from him crossing my legs. Ethan's eyes were glued to my thighs. It took several minutes before he composed himself enough to answer me. 

"Fine. I you want random guys to molest you, then go ahead and keep your skanky ass outfit. But don't come crying to me when you get unwanted attention. By the way, the next time you wear this getup you might want to remember to put on underwear." His voice was gritty as he was clenched and unclenched his fists. 

 "Not that it's any of your business, but I am wearing underwear. I have on a thong. If you weren't so much of a prick, I might let you see it." I winked at Ethan and slowly uncrossed and crossed my legs again giving him a peek of said garment. It made me extremely proud to see Ethan's eyes turn dark with lust. Pricks like him always wanted the unattainable. He’d definitely lost his chance at having me. 

"f**k. I need a drink. Do you want one?" I guessed he’d finally realized he wasn't going to win this argument, so we would be getting back to work. I didn't answer his question, because I had said all I would say to him. I giggled thinking about how he was such a caveman. He must have heard me because he turned around. He looked pissed. 

"What the f**k is so funny, Mia? Do you enjoy making me crazy?" "Immensely, Neanderthal," I mumbled. 

 "Neanderthal? Why the f**k would you call me that?" Ethan snarled. He looked dangerous, but I didn't care. He walked all over my feelings, so why should I spare him? 

"You're a modern Neanderthal. Seriously, I'm surprised you're not still dragging your knuckles and clubbing women over the head." 

He moved so fast I didn't have time to respond. He pulled me out of the chair roughly and smashed his lips to mine. I didn't want this, did I? I had only been trying to tease him, but he was out of control. The kiss was hard and animalistic. He didn't lick my lips for permission, he just plunged his tongue inside. One of his hands was in my curls as the other one massaged my breast. I moaned in his mouth.  Even though it was Ethan and I hated him, my body was on fire. I needed much more. I wanted him to be as close to me as possible. 

I forgot about what had happened last time at my apartment, and the way he'd yelled at me a minute ago. I only let myself feel the pleasure he was giving me. Ethan's hand left my breast to travel down to my butt. He bunched up my skirt until my ass was completely exposed. Our tongues were fighting for dominance in each other’s mouths. I could feel wetness soaking my inner thighs. I pressed my body closer to Ethan which caused him to let out a low groan. 

"f**k, Mia! Don't stop, baby," he moaned. 

"Ethan, we can't do this," I got out between moans and kisses. Ethan ignored me and continued kneading my butt with his large hands. I felt disgusted with myself for letting him do it to me again. He was a flaming fire, and I was the moth who flew too close for comfort. 

Soon, I felt Ethan trying to remove my thong. He bent down to get it the rest of the way off, and I helped him. Finally the garment was completely gone. I stood bare in front of Ethan's eyes. Before I could change my mind, his fingers slid inside my warm core. I gasped, because no one had ever touched me there. The sensation felt amazing.

"Don't worry, baby doll. I won't hurt you. I just want to touch you," Ethan cooed. 

 He backed us up to the large leather sofa in the corner of his office. Our lips and hands never left one other as we fell back on to the butter-soft leather. I was trying to unbutton Ethan's shirt but couldn't finish it. He stopped for a minute to take it off.