Moth to Flame

CHAPTER 9

Ethan

"Baby doll, wake up. You're having a bad dream."

Mia had been writhing in her sleep and she was starting to make those pathetic whimpering noises. It made me f*****g angry to know something plagued her in her dreams, and I was helpless to stop it.

She curled further into my chest. I shook her once more and she woke up. It took her a minute to focus on my face, but when she did, she smiled, her beautiful doe eyes looking up at me. Never in my life would I get used to the fact that such a pure and innocent creature loved my sorry ass.

Mia sat up and put her small hands on my chest. "I'm so sorry, Ethan. I've been having more nightmares lately. I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep."

She looked tired as f**k, and I could still see the dried tears on her silken cheeks. I couldn't stand to see my baby doll sad. The fact that she was in pain made me feel like a knife was being slashed through my heart. I would do anything in my f*****g power to make her happy.

I took her hand from my chest and kissed her palm. "Baby doll, you don't need to apologize. You were there for me when I had a nightmare, and I'm here for you now. Tell me why you can't sleep, darling?"

She just sat there, staring at our intertwined hands. She seemed to be in some kind of f*****g trance.

"Ethan… I… just… hold me."

I sat up and pulled her to my chest. She put her head in the crook of my neck and drifted back to sleep. Her glorious scent surrounded me, and I could feel her steady heart beat. I held onto my baby doll for dear life, because I knew that my presence would somehow soothe her.

After Mia's nightmare, I couldn't get back to sleep. I just lay holding her and thinking about the past few days. I had nearly lost my baby doll before the dinner party because I had acted like a goddamn stupid motherfucker. That day she had been in the kitchen making breakfast after giving me the blowjob of a lifetime, and I had f*****g yelled at her and pushed her away.

I had been so angry when I thought about my sweet baby doll holding that gun, the same gun I had used to kill the man who had killed my father. Something had snapped inside of me, and I had lashed out at Mia because she was the only other person there.

I had accused her of not trusting me. I f*****g demanded that she do s**t or else. I knew how stubborn Mia was and yet I goaded her on. The kicker had been when I'd inadvertently called her a cunt. She had balled her tiny little fist up and clipped me damn hard on the jaw. I saw f*****g red, and if it had been anyone else besides my baby doll, I might have kicked their ass.

It was good Mia had stood up to me. Oftentimes, I was a controlling, chauvinistic, and arrogant motherfucker. No one had ever called me on my bullshit before my baby doll.

In that bedroom, I had thought that she was going to leave me forever. When she turned me down, I was scared shitless. I took her to the meadow and told her everything. I would never forget the look in her beautiful chocolate eyes when she accepted all of me for who I was. I had gone and done the most b***h ass s**t in history and carved our initials in a tree, but Mia seemed to like that s**t, so it was worth it in the end.

She had been so beautiful in the meadow, with her white baby doll dress and those f*****g sparkly hair clips. Her outfit and hair made her look so young and carefree. I felt like a f*****g pervert groping her tight little body in that swing. I'd never been a religious motherfucker, but I felt like going to some kind of church and thanking whatever god it was that sent my f*****g angel to me. That night, I made up with my family, and we put the past behind us. For the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged.

Ian had set me up with an anger management class. I already went to one session and I liked the guy that taught it. His name was Reed, and he was a huge Samoan motherfucker with all kinds of tattoos.

Reed was a f*****g hard ass, ex-military and s**t. He had said something to piss me off the first day and I'd gone off into a temper tantrum. He pulled some kind of martial arts move that had laid flat on my ass. From that day on, he had my respect.

Reed used traditional psychological tools for anger management, but he also used some of the native traditions. That motherfucker looked like he chewed f*****g nails for breakfast, but when his wife and little girl dropped by to visit him, he turned into the most p***y whipped motherfucker around. That made me laugh, so I had signed up for six more sessions. I was determined to improve my goddamned disposition so Mia could stop kicking my ass all the time. Although, a part of me did get off on her going all dominatrix on me.

Fortunately, Jeff had saved my relationship with my baby doll. It had been him I talked to after Mia went upstairs. He convinced me that if I wanted her love and forgiveness, I was going to have to tell her the truth. We discussed women, love, and feelings.

Before our talk, I'd always thought Dr. Mitchell was a p***y-whipped motherfucker, but he was deep. He really was a good man and my mom was lucky to have him. The way he talked about her, you could tell that she was his life. I had even made plans to go fishing with him, Jeff, and Wyatt, which was something I would never have done before Mia.

Even f*****g Valerie liked my Mia, and lord knows that b***h was hard to please. My baby doll had taken her car to Valerie's shop the other day, and they had had lunch. I knew this because I had a personal bodyguard to follow her.

I hated it when she went out on her own, but she was so f*****g stubborn. Because Valerie and my baby doll seemed to be becoming great friends, I was going to have to make a point and be nice to the b***h, even though I still f*****g hated her. Valerie had f*****g called me ‘Slut’ for the past three years. She was sweet to Mia, though, and that was all that really f*****g mattered.

Seeing my mom so f*****g happy was another highlight of the day. I knew Eleanor carried around guilt for what I had become, but I didn't know how deep it was until Mia told me about the conversation they had had inside the gazebo. Knowing that my mom had finally found some peace for our past made me feel ecstatic. We now had a bond that we never had before. There was still a lot of work for me to do, but I knew I was on the right track.

My relationship with Wyatt was also much better. He was doing an excellent job at my club, and I was pretty sure that he and Ali would be getting married soon. Mia thought the sun rose and set on her brother, so I was determined to stay in that fucker's good graces.

Wyatt and I soon discovered that we had a lot in common. We both enjoyed war history, chess, and classical music. Mia called us geriatrics, because in her opinion, we acted like sixty-year-olds. I took offense at that, and in retaliation I took off my shirt and asked if my chest looked sixty.

As usual, my baby doll had stared transfixed at my pecs until her face turned tomato red. I would never get over her f*****g sexy as hell blush. I f*****g licked her cheeks so much that she was going to start chafing soon.

Mia had surprised me the night of the dinner party. She incorrectly thought that Lena was my girlfriend. I had seen the hurt, jealousy, and hate in her eyes when she saw us together. I hadn't wanted to bring Lena, but she'd made up some story about fighting with Stefano, and I agreed to let her meet Mia.

The truth was that Lorenzo and Stefano sent Lena to spy on me. That gossiping motherfucker, Luca, had let it slip that I was infatuated with my new secretary, and the Russos were interested. Stefano had sent Lena because her father had been a made man, and she was good at reading people. She had confessed it all to me in the garden and apologized for having to do it.

Lena thought Mia was beautiful and not at all like the bitches that I usually f****d. I had told her of my love for Mia, and the romantic in her had come out. She had taken an early flight back to Chicago and told Stefano and Lorenzo the good news. Yesterday, Lorenzo had sent a f*****g diamond pendant for my baby doll, but I hadn't given it to her yet. I knew she didn't like expensive s**t, so I was not sure how she'd react to finding out that they knew about our relationship.

I leaned over and kissed Mia's forehead. She sighed and snuggled into me. I heard her muttering something in her sleep. She had a tendency to sleep and talk and I thought it was the cutest thing ever.

"Ethan, more please. Feels good. Don't stop."

I looked down at her to see if she was awake, but her eyes were closed and she appeared to be asleep. Every cell in my d**k wanted me to wake her up and demonstrate what felt good, but she needed all the f*****g rest that she could get. One of her small hands drifted to my upper thigh and my c**k became so hard that it felt like hot steel.

That was another one of my current problems. I hadn't made love to Mia yet, and my d**k was in a f*****g frenzy. I didn't blame it really, with all the willing temptation nearby every night.

Usually, I f****d a b***h and never saw her again, but Mia was special. She was mine for life. She was also a f*****g virgin, so I wanted her first time to be memorable and special. Her birthday was coming up in about a week and I was planning on popping her cherry on that day.

Mom and Abby were helping me set up a special trip to Italy that I was planning for Mia. She'd never been out of the country. I knew she was going to f*****g cream herself when she saw the villa we'd be staying at in Tuscany.

My baby doll hadn't been making my decision to wait easy, though. She f*****g threw herself at me, and I had so little willpower. Mia was becoming so goddamn sexy that just her presence in a room made me leak.

The first time I met her, I had misjudged her as a prude. She was far from that; it just took the right fucker to bring it out into the open. Mia's reactions, movements, and body were naturally s****l. I had whores in the club downstairs that couldn't hold a candle to my baby doll's sexiness, and we hadn't even properly f****d.

I wasn't the only motherfucker who noticed her either. I caught guys eye-f*****g her all the goddamned time. I almost hated to take her out in public. She called me a Neanderthal because of my possesiveness, but those fuckers should have known better than to visually covet another man's woman.

All of a sudden, Mia's hot little hand started to creep higher. I contemplated waking her up again, but I decided to try to sleep and just ignore her attempts to molest me. I moved her hand back to my chest, closed my eyes, and drifted away to dream land.

When I woke up, my baby doll was gone. I panicked for a minute, but then I smelled something heavenly cooking and realized that she was in the kitchen. We'd stayed another night in my lair because Mia liked it, and it was pretty cozy. It had become her second home.

I loved having her with me. I'd even finally managed to convince her to move some of her stuff in, so now there was a bunch of feminine s**t in my f*****g bathroom. I'd become such a dopey ass motherfucker that when I had seen her body wash in my medicine cabinet, I had f*****g smiled. If anyone had told me I would care about f*****g s**t like that, I would have taken them to the nearest mental hospital.

I went into the kitchen to see the object of my affection in person. She was standing near the stove reading a book. She had on one of my long sleeved Harvard t-shirts and a pair of my white gym socks. I loved seeing my baby doll in my clothes. It stirred something primal in me. Maybe I was a Neanderthal after all.

Smirking, I walked over and took the book out of her hand. "Gotcha."

"Hey, I was getting to the good part." Her cute little nose scrunched up and she pouted her lips.

I picked her up and sucked on her bottom lip. She opened her mouth and fisted her hands in my hair, pulling me closer. "Mmm, Ethan, you taste so good." That compliment went straight to my d**k. I licked inside her hot sweet mouth for a few minutes before setting her back down on her feet.

"What are you cooking, baby doll? It smells f*****g delicious."

She gave me a sexy smile and then went over to the stove. She lifted a portion of food on a fork, took it over to me, and put it in my mouth. She looked so hot standing there in front of me that I almost forgot to breathe. I shook my head when I realized she was saying something.

"It's a western omelet with flank steak. I hope you like it."

Of course I liked it, I liked everything she made. "It's f*****g perfect. I love you, baby doll." Mia just stood there staring into my eyes and blushing. I left her to finish the cooking while I worked on some financial s**t.

Mia had quickly become the most important person in my life, so it was time that I started making plans for our future. I knew that eventually I was going to have to introduce her to Lorenzo and Stefano in person, because I planned on proposing to Mia soon. She'd be joining my world, so there were some things I was going to need to teach her. My tigress was tough, and she could handle s**t. Knowing that was the only thing that gave me the courage to make her mine. We were fated or some s**t. There was no way my life would have continued if I hadn't met her.

The club and my investments were making me a lot of money. I wanted to buy my baby doll something special. The only problem was, I didn't know what she liked, and she wouldn't f*****g ask for anything either. Ever time I brought up some item that other bitches were fawning over, Mia seemed uninterested. I was busy racking my brains for ideas when suddenly it came to me, the perfect gift for her.

I got the number for a real estate agency in Sequim and set everything up. I was going to take my baby doll to visit her hometown and the cemetery where her parents were buried. This week was the anniversary of her mother's death; I had a feeling that was the reason she'd been having those goddamn nightmares every night.

We would leave on Friday and spend the whole weekend there. I rented a spacious cabin and gave the agent special instructions to make sure it was cleaned and fully stocked. Hopefully, Mia would be able to put the past behind her so we could move on with our future.

After the arrangements for the trip were finalized, I went back to the kitchen. Mia had set everything up on the table and was back to reading her book. I walked over and sat down next to her. She had already made me a plate, so I began eating. The silence started to get to me. I was a little pissed that she was paying more attention to her book than me.

"Put the book down, baby doll. Eat your food and talk to me."

She looked like a frightened deer who had been caught in the headlights. "I'm sorry, Ethan. I just really wanted to finish this before work tonight. What do you want to talk about?"

I wanted to talk about us, our future, her nightmares, why she was shutting me out; however, I kept all of that to myself because I didn't want to get into a fight so early in the morning. I looked over at Mia to see she was now eating vigorously. When she was halfway through, she put her fork down. Her mouth opened and closed a few times. It looked like she wanted to say something but kept changing her mind.

"Ethan, why haven't you made love to me? I know you've been with lots of women, and I probably won't compare. I still thought… Never mind." She looked so f*****g depressed that it broke my heart. She honestly thought I didn't want her, or that those other bitches were better.

Fuck that s**t.

"Baby doll, you're so far above and beyond all those other women that it's laughable. They are my past. They meant nothing to me. You are my future, and you mean everything. I want our first time to be memorable and special for both of us. Trust that I have a plan, and you will be thoroughly deflowered soon. I love you, Mia. You are mine forever. You are the only woman I will ever hold, make love to, kiss, or touch for the rest of my life.

"For your first time, I want to wait and make it something you won't ever forget. Please don't think that makes me want you any less. I ache for you, baby doll." I hoped my confession would alleviate her fears and help her to understand why I wanted to wait.

Mia stood up and came to sit in my lap. She had a small smile on her face. Her eyes were glassy and heavy lidded. "I love you so much, Ethan. You are the sweetest man in the world. You like people to think you're a tough guy, but underneath it all, you're a gummy bear. That could be your new pet name; gummy bear."

I was about to protest when she silenced me with light kisses all over my face. She ended the kiss on my lips, taking time to suck on my top lip for a minute. Mia made me feel special and extremely happy. I loved it when she teased me.

"You will not call me gummy bear. I may be p***y-whipped, but I have to draw the line somewhere. No grown man wants to be called a candy ass name like that."

Mia just giggled and mumbled something about 'soft on the inside.' I patted her on the ass as she stood up to clean up our dishes. She never let me help her, but I always enjoyed the view.

After breakfast, Mia and I went into the living room and cuddled. We found a Doctor Who marathon on TV and vegged out to watch it. I alternated between tickling Mia and doing impressions of the characters. I had her cracking up, and it felt f*****g fantastic to hear her beautiful laugh again. She was trying to fight me off because she was laughing too hard. My d**k was f*****g hard as a rock, but I didn't want to ruin our moment with s*x. We already had a strong physical attraction.

"Ethan, I have a surprise for you tonight after work." I looked down at Mia. She had a sly look in her eyes.

This can't be good.

"What is it? Can you give me a hint?" My hands were lightly resting on her ribs. I felt her heartbeat speed up as her eyes got wide.

"Um...no… It's a surprise for you. You just have to be good and wait."

Now I was really f*****g curious. What kind of s**t was she planning? She had that stubborn look in her eye, so I didn't bother pushing the issue further. I would find out soon enough. Soon, she curled up with her back to me and continued watching TV.

An hour later, Mia fell asleep in my arms. I put her in our bed, locked up the lair, and went down to talk to Luca. I planned on letting Mia sleep until lunchtime so she wouldn't be too sluggish tonight.

Luca had a s**t eating grin on his face. "Hey, boss, you look properly f****d this morning. Is the lovely Mia the reason you kept me waiting so long?"

Obviously, this fucker forgot about his last beating. "Shut the f**k up, Luca. I don't want you noticing how lovely Mia is. She is mine. I'll kick your ass again if you touch one hair on her pretty little head."

He conceded by throwing his hands up, but he still had a tiny little smirk on his lips, and I wanted to punch it off. "Point taken, Capo."

I smiled at the Italian name for Chief. Luckily, I was fluent in French, Italian, Greek, and Spanish. I picked that s**t up easily because of my eidetic memory. I was looking forward to taking Mia to all those countries and dazzling her with my skills.

Luca and I went over the shipment of drugs which was coming into the club. A large amount of m*******a was due, and he wanted to know if I needed to take some off the top. I declined because since Mia and I declared ourselves, I hadn't touched that s**t. Lately, I have even felt bad about trafficking hard drugs through the club. I didn't want that s**t near my baby doll, so I was going to talk about it with the Russos during our next meeting.

By the time we finished, it was close to one. Luca told me to tell Mia that he said hello and would drop by to see her tonight. I gave him a hard glare and the finger before getting in the elevator to go upstairs. I typed the code on my keypad and entered the lair.

Mia wasn't in bed, but I could hear the shower running. I contemplated going in and joining her but decided against it. I wanted to take her out for lunch and if we showered together, we'd never get out of the apartment. I sat down on the bed and put on some music while I waited for her to finish. I would take a quick shower, change, and then we would be off. I was planning on taking her to an authentic Spanish restaurant one of my good friends owned.

Suddenly, my baby doll stepped out of the bathroom in the tiniest f*****g towel known to man. Small droplets of water were all over her lightly flushed skin. She made her way over to me and I smiled. I thought she was about to shoo me out so she could get dressed. I was getting up to leave but she blocked my path and f*****g dropped the goddamned towel. I froze because in front of me was a vision: my Mia in all her f*****g glory. I was mesmerized. I let out a low groan, and she smiled.

"Hello, Ethan. Like what you see?"

I had to get the f**k out of there. I managed to pick up the towel and hand it to her. I gave her one chaste kiss on the forehead and then made my way to the bathroom. I took the coldest goddamned shower I could stand. I didn't even f*****g touch my d**k because it was so hard it hurt. I tried to concentrate on something boring, but all I could see was my baby doll standing there naked: her perfect pink n*****s protruding, her lickable belly button, the light sprinkling of soft curls covering her promised land, her tight, little heart-shaped ass.

Damn.

My d**k was so hard it could have cut steel. I turned the water temperature down and pictured myself f*****g Paula. That did it. My hard-on fled, and I was able to finish showering.

Thankfully, when I got to the bedroom, Mia was gone. I could hear the television in the living room, so I assumed she was watching a show.

I put on one of my slate gray Prada suits and a black tie. I spritzed on some cologne and added my Prada loafers. I just ran my fingers through my hair because that's all I ever did, and besides, Mia grabbed onto it whenever she could so it always looked like I'd been freshly f****d. I studied myself in the mirror and decided I was a sexy motherfucker, good enough to be seen with my baby doll.

When I found her, she was sitting on the far end of the leather couch staring out into space. Her chosen outfit consisted of a red scoop neck sheath dress and kitten heels. All of her hair was down and there was a red and black headband holding it back. Her makeup was minimal but she did have on lip gloss and mascara. As usual, she was f*****g magnificent.

I knew more about women's clothes and makeup than most men, because my father had taught me that s**t so I could woo women. My baby doll was a natural beauty, meaning she could wear a sack and still hold my attention.

Mia glanced at me when I walked in, and her eyes widened. She turned away. When she glanced back, I could see the pain in her eyes.

I kneeled in front of her for a heartbeat. "What's the matter, baby doll?" She wouldn't make eye contact with me. I held her small hand while I waited for her answer.

"It's stupid, really. I just wondered why you turned me down in the bedroom." I was grateful that that was all to it.

"Mia, believe me, I wanted to lick every inch of your skin, but we have a lunch reservation. If I started, we would miss everything, and I want you to meet some of my other friends. I will make it up to you later."

She leaned forward to kiss me. I wasn't expecting it, so I ended up flat on my back with Mia straddling me. My d**k was instantly hard again. She started grinding herself against my erection. I pulled her head down for a kiss. Her lips automatically molded to mine. We stayed like that for a while.

When she started moaning into my mouth, I broke the kiss and stood her up. She smiled and took my hand quietly. She was blushing, so I licked her cheeks. She tried to push me away but I started sucking on her neck. Since we would be out in public, I wanted to make sure every other fucker knew that she was taken and giving her a couple of hickeys was the easiest way I could think of.

She eventually removed my mouth from her neck and slapped me on the chest. "Christ Neanderthal! I think they'll be able to tell I'm yours." She tried to sound angry, but I saw the small smile that she was trying to hide.

Eventually, we rode the elevator to the Phantom. I pulled the car out of the garage, and we headed to the restaurant. Mia sat quietly holding my hand.

We pulled up to our destination about thirty minutes later. A valet opened Mia's door and took my car keys. I caught him looking at Mia's ass, so I stomped on his foot hard before he entered the car. My baby doll f*****g apologized for my behavior and then took my hand. I threatened to cut off his needle d**k if he looked at her again or wrecked my car. He looked scared shitless, so I was satisfied.

I went to a booth near the back which had been reserved for Mia and me. It was separate from the rest of the diners and would give us some privacy. The waiter came by to take our order and I let Mia go first. Her eyes went wide when she took in the prices. She tried to order something cheap, so I dismissed the waiter, telling him we needed a minute.