Moth to Flame

CHAPTER 8.1

He was holding the hand of a beautiful woman with tanned skin and green eyes. She looked to be of possible Italian heritage, tall with large rounded breasts and long legs. She had on a black jersey dress and high heels which accentuated her beauty. Her black hair was in an elegant bob, and she wore diamonds on her fingers. 

She was sophisticated and gorgeous; everything I wasn't. He had called her Lena. From the casual way they were standing and holding hands, I could see that they had been intimate before. I felt bile rise up in the back of my throat. I wanted to run, but there was nowhere to go. Besides, it would be rude of me to ruin Eleanor's dinner party by leaving.

The beautiful woman put her arm around Ethan's waist and then turned to look at me. She held her hand out. "I'm Lena. You are Ethan's assistant? I am so happy to meet you." She had a sexy exotic accent. She was even smiling at me, probably laughing at how childlike I looked next to a woman like her.

I mumbled, "Nice to meet you", and then trained my eyes to the window. I'd only been gone a couple of hours, and Ethan had already replaced me with a better model. His words this morning had been a lie. He could live without me.

I looked up to see he was staring at me with a serious expression on his face. Lena whispered something in his ear, and he smiled. I couldn't take it anymore, so I excused myself to go to the restroom. 

After I closed the door, I sat down on the large cushioned bench and started crying. Ethan was here with another woman, and I was the only guest without a date. How could he be so cruel to me? I thought that we would at least be able to discuss our problems, but he had just gone and started sleeping with Lena. They had probably made love on the same sheets Ethan and I had shared last night. That thought caused a new rush of tears.

I was about to re-enter the living room when I heard a loud ruckus. It sounded like all the guys were arguing about something. I recognized Wyatt's voice.

"You goddamn bastard! You led her on and then you dumped her. After you promised me you wouldn't hurt her! How could you, Ethan? Don't you see how sad she is? Do you care nothing for her? I'm going to beat your face in until you learn your lesson! You won't hurt my baby sister again." 

I heard Ethan growl and what sounded like Ian trying to calm him down. “Get your facts straight, Wyatt! She walked out on me. I f*****g love Mia. Of course I care about her. She is my life. She's the one making our relationship difficult."

I heard more scuffling and yelling as I entered the room. I was so angry I was shaking. How could he say I was his life when he refused to let me get to know him? He was the one ruining our relationship by cheating with another woman.

"Don't you dare, Ethan! I didn't walk out on you. You dismissed me and threw a tantrum, so I left. I am not making our relationship, if that's even what we have, difficult. I'm the one trying to build it. You are the one here with another woman. You claim to love me, but you're sleeping with someone else after I've only been gone a few hours.

Ethan looked confused for a couple of minutes, then he turned to glare at me. "Baby doll, what the f**k are you talking about? Who am I sleeping with?"

I couldn't believe he was really going to make me say it. "Lena. You brought her as your date. You didn't even have the courtesy to call and tell me so I could have bowed out. You asked me to be your guest, and then you…”

By that point, I was all out crying. Abigail and Eleanor came over and hugged me. Ian and Jeff were holding Wyatt back. Valerie looked pissed. Lena looked bewildered.

I was just about to ask someone to take me home when Ethan and Lena began laughing. Hot tears cascaded down my cheeks. I just wished this dinner was over so I could go cry somewhere for the rest of my days. Ethan had a condescending smirk on his face which made me want to hit him again. I knew that would upset his mother, so I just stood there seething with anger.

Finally, he stopped staring and walked over to me. Eleanor and Abigail released me, but stayed close by. I needed their support.

“How could you Ethan? I gave you all of me. I loved you," I whimpered, trying to talk through my tears. 

He was trying to say something to me, but I couldn't hear him. Eleanor was sending him death glares and tiny little Abigail had her fists balled up. I didn't want this - I didn't want his family to take sides between us. I needed to get out of here.

Valerie walked over to me and put her arms around my waist. "Get the hell away from her, slut. You've done enough damage for one night. Do you have to ruin everything you touch?”

I buried my face in Valerie's shoulder and let her walk me out to the gardens. I heard Wyatt attack Ethan, again but I didn't turn around. Ethan yelled for me to wait, but I couldn't stand to look at him anymore.

There was a light drizzle outside, but I didn't care. Valerie led me to a gazebo in the middle of the garden. We both sat down on the bench and then I broke down again. I cried so hard that I curled up into a ball. Rose placed my head on her knee while I sobbed.

“You know he isn't worth all this, don't you?" she asked, looking down at me. I just continued to cry. 

She began stroking my hair. "I tried to give Ethan the benefit of the doubt when we first met. He is Ian's brother. I love Ian, so I thought we could all be friends. That never happened, though.”

She stopped to pick at her nail, but then went on. "Ian has always tried to get Ethan to bond with him. Sure Ian is a big guy, but underneath that he's a little boy. His biological mother abandoned him when he was young. Since then, he feels that he needs to be liked by everyone. Ethan is the one person whom Ian never won over. He considers Ethan his brother, but Ethan goes out of his way to insist that they aren't related. It hurts my husband. I love him so much that I can't stand to see him hurt; therefore I hate Ethan. He treats all of us like lepers. He acts like we should be grateful to be in his presence. He is a jackass. I'm sorry no one warned you, Mia.”

I sniffled and shook my head. "My brother did warn me, but I didn't listen. I just thought that my heart wouldn't let me fall in love with a man like that. I mean, what does me loving Ethan so much say about me?" I sat up and turned to face Valetie.

She looked deep in thought. "You can't help who you love. You just love them and hope they return the sentiment. I'm sorry your heart chose Ethan.”

I smiled because she was right. When it came to love, you had little choice in the matter.

We spent the rest of the hour talking about our lives. Valerie's profession shocked me - she was a mechanic. She owned an auto body shop which catered to women. It had a daycare area for kids, and there were classes where women could learn about cars. 

She told me that instead of the naked women you see at men's auto shops, they had adorable baby calendars. I promised I would bring my Range Rover in for her to look at some time.  She then left to check on Ian and the twins. 

I lay back down on the bench and must have dozed off. When I awoke, Eleanor was sitting next to me.

"I'm sorry, Eleanor. How long was I asleep?" I stood up and stretched my legs.

She smiled at me and patted my knee. "Only about fifteen minutes, dear. It will be another hour until dinner, so you have time to nap if you want. Feel free to come inside and take one of the spare bedrooms." 

"Thanks. I think that a little power nap will get me through the night." I hoped it would.

Her face twisted, and then she let out a small sob. I pulled her to me the best I could. I was freaking out because Mrs. Mitchell didn't look like the type who usually cried.

“Mia, Ethan asked me to speak to you." I stiffened and nodded for her to go on. "Lena is not who you think she is. I will leave it up to Ethan to explain. 

“While you two were yelling at one another, I heard him say that he loves you, and you said that you loved him. Do you truly love my son?”

My answer was automatic "Yes." Then I started crying along with Eleanor.

"That's what I thought. I know Ethan is difficult and can grate on the nerves, but it's not all his fault. His father pretty much raised him to be his clone. Ethan never really had time to be a kid. He grew up fast. 

Did he tell you he was there the day his father died?" I nodded, remembering the story Ethan told me about killing the man that killed his father.

"Ethan's father had a dangerous job. He found his pleasure with other women, and I looked the other way because he was the provider. Ethan is the same way. I've heard the stories, and I know how much he gets around. I should have fought harder to take Ethan away from his father, but I was weak. I feel guilty because I know that if I had of been stronger, Ethan would be a better man today. I failed him as a mother, and because of my failure, I worry that he's incapable of love."

She was crying again and I shushed her and rubbed her back. "Eleanor, I can guarantee you that you didn't fail Ethan. He may be rough around the edges, but the capacity to love is there. Just because Ethan and I didn't work out doesn't mean you failed as a mother.”

Eleanor turned to me and clasped my hands. "Thank you, Mia. Jeff and I like you and Wyatt a lot. We're looking forward to spending more time with you both and welcoming you to our family. Abigail and Ethan had been so broken before you two. I want all my children to be happy and forget the past. Couldn't you at least give Ethan another chance? I would love to one day have both you and Wyatt join our family.”

I wanted to tell her yes. But right now I wasn't sure what the future might hold for Ethan and me. "I'll think about it, Mrs. Mitchell, but there are no promises." 

She thanked me. I had almost forgotten about Wyatt and what she must have thought of him threatening her son.

"Please, I apologize on Wyatt's behalf. He's usually very calm and non-violent. He's just overprotective of me because I've been his responsibility for so long. Don't hold it against him.”

Eleanor laughed and brushed her hair back. "I know, darling. Abigail has talked my ear off about how great Wyatt is, so you have nothing to worry about. Please do come in and lay down in one of the guest rooms before you catch the flu.”

We walked back inside, and Eleanor went to the kitchen to check on something. Valerie was curled up in Ian's lap watching the football game. Abigail was in the kitchen with Eleanor. Wyatt and Doctor Mitchell were watching the game, too, but they were also playing a heated game of chess. I sucked at the game, but Wyatt was a pro. Jeff seemed like a natural.

Wyatt looked over at me and mouthed 'I'm sorry.' I blew him a kiss. Ian caught our play and complained that Wyatt was ruining it for the rest of the male species. Doctor Mitchell laughed loudly at that and wriggled his eyebrows at me. I blushed once again.

Ethan was sitting in a chair in the darkest corner, drinking what looked like brandy. When he caught my eye, he smiled and motioned for me to come sit by him. I scowled and asked Valerie for an Advil. She retrieved her purse and bought me the bottle. 

She asked if I was okay. I told her I had a headache and would be upstairs laying down. She patted my shoulder and climbed back in to Ian's lap. I didn't see Lena, but she was probably around there somewhere.

When I got to the third floor, I took a room that had a large bed with a baby blue comforter. The walls were a pale gold and had intricate gold designs. I thought to make it a point to ask who decorated because everything was beautiful. 

I laid down on the comforter and gathered my knees to my chest and began crying again. I cried for all I had lost, and I cried for the broken pieces of my heart. I imagined Ethan and Lena together, and my chest caved in with my broken sobs.

"Mia, are you okay? I heard you tell Valerie that you have a headache."

Oh god, why couldn't he just leave me alone? He had already broken my heart.

"Go away, Ethan," I muttered.

"Baby doll, please talk to me. " He was begging, but I didn't answer him. I just lay there and let the tears flow.

"Go find your new girlfriend. Leave me alone. We have nothing more to say to each other." My voice sounded hollow and scratchy from my crying.

In the next instance, the door was thrown open, and I was left staring at a pissed off Ethan. He kicked off his shoes and threw his jacket and tie on a chair before climbing in beside me.

I didn't need this right now. I felt bad enough. I curled up further into myself and closed my eyes, praying he would leave. I had no such luck, though. A moment later, I felt his finger's caressing my cheek.

"You look so gorgeous tonight, baby doll. I know you wore that dress for me. I love all the clips in your hair. Please just look at me, Mia."

My heart rate sped up and I cursed my body for its natural reaction to Ethan's touch. "Get the hell away from me. I don't want to talk to you. Just let me make it through this dinner party. Go make love to Lena."

A snarl echoed throughout the room, and then Ethan kissed me. He sucked on my bottom lip hard before taking me. I felt his tongue probing the inside of my mouth and I moaned. My hands went around his neck and pulled him closer. Then I thought about him kissing Lena and stopped our foreplay. He stared down at me with a hurt expression on his face.

I sighed and shook my head. "We can't, Ethan. You chose Lena. Please go find her and leave me alone. I'm tired of this back and forth between us. Just let me go." I turned my back to him and stared at the walls again.

After awhile, it was so quiet I thought that maybe he'd left, but then he spoke. "Mia, Lena is not my girlfriend. She is my godfather Stefano's fiancée. They had a fight about something trivial, and she flew to Seattle last night to visit and do some shopping. I was busy with you and didn't check my phone until this morning, and it had a message from her. She was upset, so I invited her to the dinner party. Lena and I have never slept together. We are just friends. I told her all about you, and she was excited to meet the woman who kicked my ass and stole my heart."

He had a small smile tugging on the corner of his mouth. "By the way, she thinks you're beautiful. That's what she whispered in my ear downstairs." 

Could it be true? Did Ethan still love me? He had said so in front of everyone, but I didn't trust him.

"I don't need your lies, Ethan Sodero. Leave me alone." I was not going to let him break me again.

The bed shifted and I turned around to see Ethan pulling his fingers through his hair. He looked hysterical. "I know I f****d up this morning, Mia, and I'm sorry. It's just that the thought of you with my gun made me panic and I didn't think. I wanted to keep all that s**t away from you. I'm sorry I yelled and ordered you around.

"I've been talking to Ian downstairs, and he suggested I try taking an anger management class. Please just give me another chance. I'll go the class and work on my temper. I love you, Mia.”

I looked in his eyes, and they looked so sincere. 

"Ethan, I want us to be together, but we spend most of our time fighting with each other. How do you know it will get better before it gets worse? I'm already in too deep. Sometimes, I feel like we are one soul and that scares me. I've never needed anyone as much as I need you. If you decided to leave me, I couldn't go on."

He took my hand and put it to his heart. "Mia, I'm not saying we won't ever fight again, but I'm willing to prove myself to you. I know I'm f****d up and that I don't deserve you. I meant what I said downstairs. You are my life. I am willing to do anything to make us better. Please. I need you to keep loving me." 

I wanted to reassure him, but I had been telling the truth when I said I couldn't go on if he left me. I just didn't want to need him so much. "Ethan, I can't." It came out as a small whimper.

He let go of my hand. I glanced up to see his expression and what I saw blew me away. He looked like a man who had been tortured thousands of times over. There were unshed tears in his eyes and he was breathing heavily.

“Ethan…"

He held up his hand to stop me. "Can I just take you somewhere? There's something I want to show you in the meadow." He looked so broken that I would have agreed to anything.

"Okay. It looks like the rain has stopped, but I'll need to get my cardigan."

He retrieved his discarded suit jacket and helped me into it. "You can just wear this. The last room at the right has a door that leads downstairs to the back meadow. We can go that way.”

He grabbed my hand and led me outside. We went a little ways into the woods and then he stopped.

“What are we doing here, Ethan? What did you want to show me?" I was a little nervous to be alone with him in the woods because of his current mood. He led me to a tree which had a swing hanging from it. 

He took off the vinyl cover and then sat down. He pulled me down with him and began swinging lightly. The meadow reminded me of the woods surrounding my childhood home. I was enveloped in the smell of honeysuckle and fresh rain; it was wonderful. I leaned back against Ethan and just enjoyed my surroundings.

Ethan wrapped his arms around my waist. "Baby doll, I have done things I'm not proud of, and for that I'm sorry. There are lots of illegal activities that go on in my club, and I don't want you near them. I sold my soul a long time ago. I've never regretted the decision I made until I met you. I'm going to tell you who I am, and if by some miracle you still want to be with me, we can go from there."

I wanted to turn around to gauge his mood, but he seemed to need my back facing him to make his confession. It was then that Ethan told me all about his father, his membership in the Russo Clan, and trafficking through the club. He confessed everything, including how he had slept with a w***e the night he met me. He told me about using hard drugs and how dirty he felt afterward. He told me about his godfathers, and how he felt loyalty to them because they had always taken care of his family. Then he apologized for every tear he caused me to cry, and promised to become a better person so that he would be worthy of me.

By the time he was done with his tale, I was in shock because of what I'd just learned: Ethan is a mobster in the Russo Clan based out of Chicago. There are lots of illegal things going on at my place of employment. And Ethan wants to improve because he felt he was unworthy of my love - as if that were possible. I loved him no matter what.

Mentally, I sifted through everything he had just told me and came to a decision. I stood up to face him. His face was twisted in pain, and I could see that he thought I was about to walk out on him forever.

I straddled his lap and wrapped my legs around his waist. Then I leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was different from all the others we had shared before. I poured all of my love, forgiveness, and devotion into it. I licked his tongue, the inside of his jaw, and all his teeth. I sucked his tongue into my mouth. I breathed in his soul. 

My hands went to his soft hair and we both moaned loudly. Ethan settled his hands on my hips and pulled me closer. I began to cry because the moment was so perfect, and nothing would ever feel better than him. I couldn't breathe anymore, but I refused to let go of Ethan's lips.

Eventually, he pulled away to look up at me. He wiped the tears from my eyes and I saw that he had some of my teardrops on his fingertips. He licked them and then kissed the rest away. His eyes showed so much love and dedication that I started crying again.

"I don't care about any of it. I love you with all my heart, Ethan. We're in this together, and where you go, I go. Whatever happens to you happens to me. I'm never letting you go again.”

I hugged him hard and gave him another kiss. He sucked on my neck and collarbones before ending our kiss. Abrilliant smile lit up his face. He swung us harder and I smiled as he held me while the wind blew through our hair. I had never seen Ethan so carefree and happy. I loved this man. He would be my lover, the father of my children, and my husband in time. He would die one day, and I would be right behind him.

Soon, Ethan put his feet to the ground to stop our swinging. The smile had never left his face. I touched his lips. He kissed my palm.

"Baby doll, you have made me the happiest man in the world. I love you. You are the only thing I can't live without. We will be together forever, and then beyond. You are my soul. I would die a billion times over if it meant you could live. My heart beats as your heart beats - not a minute more, not a minute less."

I began sobbing into Ethan's shoulder. He was saying all the words that were in my heart too. I loved him more than any words could ever say. He was mine, and I was his forever.

Ethan shushed me and stood up. He gave me one more passionate kiss and then set my feet on the ground.

“I intend to marry you, Mia Watson. I would like some time for us to work on our relationship, but if you want a ring we can go buy one right now. We could announce our engagement tonight."

I giggled and leaned in to kiss Ethans jaw. "I intend to marry you, too, Ethan. We don't need a ring. We'll take things slow and learn together. All that matters is that we love each other. Nothing will ever change that."

Ethan reached into his pants pockets and pulled out a Swiss Army knife. He glanced over at me and winked before carving E+M Forever into the tree the swing was hanging from.

“If you ever tell anyone that I did this b***h ass s**t, I will make you pay." I had to laugh because Ethan would never hurt me.

"I think it's sweet, hunny bunny." I was teasing him, and he knew it.

I ran, and Ethan lunged for me. Of course he was able to catch me easily because his legs were so much longer than mine. He picked me up and hoisted me onto his back. I held onto him for dear life as he jogged the rest of the way back to the house.

When we got to the house, Eleanor and Jeff were on the back porch looking for us. Eleanor saw us first. She took in our jovial manner and me on Ethan's back and her face became engulfed in a beautiful smile. She jabbed Jeff and pointed over to us, and he started smiling too. Ethan set me down and grabbed my hand. We made our way over to his parents.

He kissed me on the cheek and I blushed. "Mom, Jeff, I'd like you to meet the love of my life. My girlfriend, Mia Watson." 

Eleanor ran over and hugged us both. Jeff winked at me and patted Ethan on the shoulder. Eleanor asked me to come to the kitchen with her. Ethan didn't want to let go of my hand, but I kissed him and assured him I would be back, and he finally let go. In the kitchen, Abigail and Valerie were sitting at a table reading a fashion magazine. They looked up when we entered.

Abigail looked at me from head to toe and then jumped up and ran for me. "Mia, I'm so happy. You will be so good for Ethan. I can't wait until we're sisters." I hugged Abigail and took a seat at the table.

"How did you know, Abigail? You weren't even outside." She just hummed and pointed to my collarbone. I looked down to see I had a large hickey blooming. I blushed, and then I started laughing and couldn't stop.

Soon, I calmed myself down.  I felt so good that I'm sure everyone could see the joy on my face.

Valerie hadn't said anything. When I looked up she was staring at me. She must have seen whatever she needed to see in my eyes because she gave me a real smile.

"Tell Ethan that if he f***s with you, he'll have me to answer to, and I'm scarier than Ian. Welcome to the family, Mia." 

I had an Abigail moment and ran over to sit Valerie's lap. We hugged for a minute and then she shooed me away so she could finish her magazine.

I stood up and walked over to the stove, where Eleanor was putting the antipasto on a plate. It looked delicious. There were all kinds of meats, cheeses, and olives.

"Can you help me, dear? I'm not much of a cook, so most of this dinner is catered. My Ethan tells me you can cook, though. I'm glad you make sure he eats because I used to worry about him. Now that he has you in his life, I won't have to be concerned." She squeezed my shoulder as I smiled. I grabbed some utensils and helped her finish plating the appetizers.

Abigail and Valerie were arguing over whether or not the new line of some designer was good or bad. I felt like a part of the family, and that was one of the best feelings in the world. 

I excused myself so I could go find Wyatt. He was playing a video game with Ian and appeared to be having the time of his life. I was happy Wyatt fit so well into the family. 

"Um, Wyatt, I'm sorry to interrupt. Can I talk to you a minute?"

Ian glanced over at me and his eyes widened when he took in my hickey. He snorted. "Looks like our little Mia's been ravaged. I didn't know little Eddie had it in him." I blushed even harder.