Kismet

Chapter 10

Lucia

I wake up in Marcus's arms and snuggle closer to his chest. I love being in his arms it makes me feel so safe. I really think I might be falling in love with him but I'm not ready to tell him yet. Honestly I haven't even told Cam how strong my feelings are for him.

I don't know if I should tell Cam to be honest. I'm worried it might make her feel bad or sad. Honestly not really sure how she would feel but I know she isn't ready to hear about my love life.

She is doing so good with therapy but I know she misses Davon. Last night at work when she was talking to Marcus and I came over she had such a sad look in her eyes. I worry so much for her. I know something else happened to her the night she was admitted into the hospital. I over heard one of the nurses talking about how they had never seen so much damage caused from a r**e before. I know she'll tell me about it when she's ready so I've never brought it up with her. I also know that when she is ready to talk about it that she'll be ready to move past it.

I slowly pull myself out of Marcus's arms cause I gotta pee and need a shower. After my shower I get dressed and wake Marcus up. He has to be at work and I have a class in a few hours.

"Hey sleeping sexy" I whisper in his ear as I reach my arm around towards his already hard d**k.

"Mmm baby" he moan his voice still full of sleep and sexy as hell "my favorite way to wake up"

"Come on baby" I say as I increase the speed of my hand "time to get up"

He turns over on to his back and wraps his arm around me. "mmm f**k yea baby" I can tell he's so close.

"Mmm yes master" I say against his lips " you gonna c*m for your good girl"

"Oh f**k yea" he says as he tightens his hold on me "f**k yea you're such a good girl"

He pulls the sheet off him with his other hand so he can watch as I please him. "you know what I f*****g like baby god you're such a good girl" he grits out through his teeth.

When I know he is about to blow I lean forward and take his whole d**k in my mouth. "oh f**k" he groans out as he cums down my throat.

I sit up and lick my lips while never taking my eyes off his. "mmm definitely my favorite way to wake up" he says as he catches his breath.

"Well I figured since you woke me up the other day with your head in between my legs it was my turn to give you a nice wake up" I say with a small giggle.

I get off the bed and head into the bathroom to brush my teeth again. Marcus walks up behind me and wraps his arms around me. "What are your plans for today" he ask as he slowly starts kissing my neck.

"I have class and then I was gonna have a movie night with Luc" I tell him leaning my head to the side giving him better access.

"Do you have to leave already baby" he whispers in my ear as he reaches around and cups my breast in his hand.

"Yes I can't miss class again" I say moaning at the end because he now has his other hand under my skirt cupping my bare s*x. My panties are down around my ankles and I briefly wonder how I didn't feel him removing them.

"You sure about that baby" he says as he slowly inserts a finger inside me.

"Mmhmm" is all I'm able to get out.

"I'm sorry what was that baby" he has now inserted a second finger and pulled my shirt up exposing my breast. He pulls my bra down and pinches my n****e between his fingers. "look at me now"

I raise my eyes to look at him through the mirror and can feel my release coming. "oh f**k baby" I moan out.

"Whose p***y is this" he grits out as he inserts another finger

"Yours master" I moan out.

"Lift your leg up onto the counter I want to see your p***y as you come" he demands. I pull my foot out of my panties and do as he says. I lift my skirt up and you can see my p***y in the mirror. His fingers glistening with my juices.

"Oh god" I moan getting so close.

"Oh f**k yea baby your p***y is so beautiful and it's all mine to do with as I please" he grits out.

"Yes master all yours" I moan as my legs begin to shake "please master please" I whimper begging him to let my c*m.

"I know what you want just one more minute baby I'm enjoying the show" he leans down and kisses my exposed neck. "Oh your such a good girl for your master" he coos in my ear.

"Mmmmh f**k please master please I don't know how much longer" I can't even finish my sentence as my body begins to quiver.

"Yes baby c*m for me" he says. I scream his name as my release slams into my body. If he wasn't holding me up I know I would have been on the floor. God this man has given me the absolute best orgasms in my life. "Oh I could watch you c*m all day baby. Come on let's shower"

After my second shower of the day where I got to experience yet another mind blowing orgasm. I rush out the door if I hurry I'll only be fifteen minutes late to class.

As predicted I was only fifteen minutes late to class. Not that I really cared I was pretty much done and I knew I was going to graduate. So I spent the whole class just thinking about Marcus.

I really like him like alot but I just don't know if I'm ready to just be with one person. At the same time I feel like I'm falling in love with him. Ugh it's just so complicated sometimes. I wish I knew exactly how he felt about me. It would make it all so much easier.

I was so lost in thought I didn't even realize that class was over. As I was packing up James came over. "Hey how are doing"

"Good thanks" I told him. James has been trying to get me to go out with him since sophomore year. I f****d up big time last year when I slept with him. We were at a party and I had been drinking too much and wasn't thinking clearly. Since then he just will not leave me alone.

"So you got any plans tonight" he asked walking beside me as we left the lecture hall.

"Yea Cam and I are having a girl's night" I told him hoping he would just leave me be.

"Oh well maybe after we can hang out" he ask.

"I told you I am seeing someone James" I said for what felt like the millionth time.

"Yea I know I just figured we could still have some fun" he said with a wink.

"Listen this" I said gesturing between us "is never gonna happen. We slept together the one time and that was over a year ago"

"Fine whatever b***h" he said as he stomped off.

Ugh I need a drink I think to myself. If I had known he would become an overly obsessed puppy I never would have slept with him. On the way home I stop and grab everything we need for a good girls night.

"Hey babes I'm home" I holler as I walk in the door.

"Perfect timing" Cam says as she pulls a pan out of the oven. The smell of peanut butter cookies making me drool.

"You made peanut butter cookies" I ask excitedly.

"Well of course they are our favorite" she says as she places the cookies on a cooling rack.

"Well I got popcorn, twizzlers, MMs, Reese's cups, and Snickers" I say holding up the bags from the store.

We get settled on the couch and start to watch our favorite movie Practical Magic. It has been our favorite movie since we were kids. We sit and eat junk food as we watch and when the movie is over I look over at Cam and I can tell something is bothering her.

"Hey babes what's wrong" I ask as I reach for her hand.

"Huh" she says bringing herself out of her thoughts "just thinking about stuff"

"Well you wanna talk about it" I ask. She just shakes her head. I want to say something about knowing what happened to her but I know she'll tell me when she's ready for me to know. So I don't push her I just wait till she's ready.

"Well I think I'm gonna go to bed" she says as she stands up from the couch "I have an early appointment with Ashlynn"

"Ok goodnight babes" I say as I stand up and hug her. I watch her walk up the stairs with a sad smile on my face. I know I'll be in her room later when the screaming starts.

She has had nightmares since the incident at Davon's house. I don't even think she remembers half the time. I remember the first time it happened it scared the hell out of me.

I was dead asleep when I heard Cam screaming. I jumped out of bed and ran into her room. She was laying on her bed thrashing around screaming "no stop". It broke my heart cause I knew she was dreaming about Jason.

I ran to her bed and tried to get her to calm down but it was useless. So I just sat there holding her and telling her she was safe. She eventually calmed down and fell back into a deeper sleep.

As I think about that night my heart breaks for her even more. She never wakes up from the dreams. She never reacts or responds to me trying to soothe her but I still try. She's not just my cousin she is my best friend in the whole world. I would do anything for her. I just wish I could take away her pain.

Camila

I wake with a start and look over at the clock. "s**t" I yell I over slept. I quickly jump up and take a fast shower. I run out of the door. As I pull into the parking lot at Ashlynn's office I breath a sigh of relief. I made it just on time.

I've decided today is the day I try and talk about my r**e. I've been going to therapy for a month now and I think I'm ready to talk about it. I'm in the waiting room fidgeting nervously waiting for Ashlynn to be ready.

"Hello Cami how are you doing today" she ask as I take a seat in her office.

"Umm ok I guess" I say looking around the room.

"Ok well what would you like to talk about today" she says. She looks at me like she knows I'm nervous about what I want to talk about.

"Well I umm wanted to talk a little more about that night" I say in a small voice.

"Cami remember you don't have to talk about things you aren't ready to talk about" she says reassuringly. "There is no need to rush. You can talk about whatever it is when you are ready. Rushing won't help anyone especially you".

I sit quietly for a few minutes taking in what she said. I know what she says is true but I also have learned that not talking about it does more harm than good. "Well I'm ready to take the first step in healing" I say.

"That's why we're here" she says with a warm smile on her face.

"Ok so" I take a deep breath as I ready myself to say the words "that night before Jason left I ummm I mean he ummm he r***d me" I say the last part in a small whisper.

"Did you ever tell anyone" she ask. I can see the sadness in her eyes but I notice that I don't see pity.

"No but the nurses at the hospital asked if I had been" a small tear falls down my cheek as I think about that night.

"So you've never spoken to anyone else about it" she ask.

"Umm no I haven't" I tell her. I start to fidget with my hands. "I was too ashamed to say anything. I didn't want anyone to pity me"

"It must have been very hard keeping something like that to yourself all these years" she says "also I want you to know that you had nothing to be ashamed of"

"I realize that now but at the time I still thought that everything he did to me was my fault" I tell her.

"Have you realized now that that isn't the case" she ask me.

"I have yes" I say with a sigh "I know that he was to blame and that I did nothing wrong. I know I was the victim and not the blame"

"Very good" she has a big smile on her face "it takes alot of courage to be able to admit everything that happened to you and I know that this might sound weird but it takes alot of strength to be able to say the words 'I was r***d' it is one of the first steps in healing the emotional wounds from it"

"I just never wanted anyone to look at me with pity" I tell her "when my parents died everyone treated me like I was broken and I didn't like that"

"Well then when you do decide it's time to talk about the r**e with other people you need to make it a point to tell them not to treat you that way" she tells me.

The rest of our session went really well. I felt as if I could breath when I left. I never realized how much keeping it to myself had been affecting my everyday life. I felt like a new person like I was ready to take on the world.

I decided to go to the diner for lunch after my appointment. On the way I called Luc. "Hey babes" she said when she answered.

"Hey what are you doing right now" I asked her.

"Well I was getting ready to have some leftovers for lunch. Why what's up?" She asked.

"Can you meet me at the diner I wanted to talk with you about something" I told her.

"Yea ok babes I'll see you in a bit" she said. She sounded a little worried.

"Everything is ok so I don't want you to worry. I just need to talk to you about something" I told her. I didn't want her showing up worried.

"Ok well let me get dressed and I'll meet you there" she said as she hung up the phone.

I walked in the diner and went to sit at my table. I was gonna need my parents today. Martha saw me and walked over. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me the warmest hug. "Hey sweetie how are you doing" she asked as she pulled away.

"I'm actually doing really good" I say with a warm smile.

"Well I'm glad to hear that" she returns my smile "you want the usual"

"Sounds perfect" I tell her. She leaves to go put in my order. As I'm waiting I start thinking about how I'm gonna tell Luc about the r**e.

I think about what I'm gonna say and how she's gonna react. I worry about if she's gonna freak out and get mad at me for not telling her sooner. I worry that she's gonna treat me differently once she knows. What if she gets so weirded out that she becomes distant?

I am beginning to panic when I hear the bell on the door chime. I look up and there stands Luc. She sees me and smiles as she walks over. "Hey babes" she says as she takes a seat.

"Hey Luc" I say to her. I take a deep breath and mentally prepare myself for what I'm about to say.

"So what's up?" She asked me.

"So listen Luc there's something I have to tell you. It's something I've kept from you for a long time. I've been too afraid or maybe too ashamed honestly I'm not really sure which but I'm ready to talk to you about it now" I stop for a minute to take a deep breath she reaches over and grabs my hand giving it a reassuring squeeze "that night that I was in the hospital I wasn't just beaten. Jason he um he...he r***d me" my voice barely coming out as a whisper when I said the last bit.

"I know babes" Luc says. I look at her completely confused. How the hell did she know. "I over heard the nurses talking about that night"

"Why didn't you say anything" I ask. If she had said she knew then I would have been able to talk about it but then I wonder would I have talked to her or would I have shut her out?

"I knew that you would talk about when you were ready" she says as she grabs my other hand and turns me towards her "I knew you weren't ready to talk about it. I figured when you were ready to tell me you would. I didn't want to rush you or tell you I knew. I was worried that you would have shut down completely if I said something before you were ready"

"Oh Luc" is all I'm able to say before the tears begin falling down my face.

"Shhhh babes it's ok. I'm here" she says rubbing circles on my back.

As I sit there and cry I feel a weight lift off me. I hadn't realized I was carrying it till just now. Finally letting someone in has helped me realize that I haven't been alone and that Luc has always been there for me. I hug her harder and just let everything go in that moment.