I'm confused.
652 Words
When I open my eyes I was welcomed by a white ceiling. IIt'sblinding. I closed my eyes again to adjust.
When I opened my eyes I get used to the lights inside this four-corner room. I roamed my gaze that's when I noticed my aunt talking to a man in his 40's I think, wearing a white coat.
A doctor.
I'm in the hospital?
Again? I thought I am already dead. I looked to my wrist where I tried to cut using a blade this time. Last time I used a knife but It didn't work. I thought when I used another sharp material to end my life it would be easy to escape.
I guess You're not going to accept me there yet, huh? Or I am a bad child?
I heard to someone one day when I escaped that there's someone who always watches us. If our breath lasts now there's an afterlife waiting for us. She also said you can feel peace there. Freedom. That's what I rant.
I'm ready though but I guessed I am really bad. My aunt always reminds me that every single day.
I tried to get up in my bed when the nurse who's accompanying the Doctor. He helps meme to sit.
"You're awake." I turned my gaze to my aunt who was raising her eyebrows now. Giving me a look that probably killed me if it could only kill.
"It's glad that your now awake Betty." Said the doctor.
I awkwardly smile at him.
"Why did you do that again huh?" My aunt beamed. "Are you out of your mind? If you wanted to die, don't do it to my properties."
I thought she cares when she said her first line.
But she only cares about the idea that I will die to her properties. Maybe she's thinking that if I'm gonna lose to this world and people will blame her?
But what do I expect? She's been always like that. She loathes me. I just don't know where it's coming from.
"Calm down Maam." The doctor interrupted.
Thanks, God! God knows how I hate her rants but I can't just speak out.
I don't know his name. Is that his name to a small plaque on his coat? I don't know. I can't read.
She sighed when she realized that we're not the only people here in this room. She turned her back to us and go outside, leaving by slamming the door.
She's now angry. I know. She can't hurt me now, I mean physically. She always does that to me if she's mad. But she just can't because we're with the professionals now.
"How are you feeling now Ms. Betty?" I ignored him.
He's just asking because that's his job not because he cares. I don't need him.
"Are you hurt? Or what?" Is he stupid? Of course, I'm hurt! The wounds to my wrist still sting
The Doctor sighed when he probably guessed that I will not talk. Well, I don't know how to talk. I never went to school. I never get the chance to learn how to read or even write my name.
I looked to the Doctor, staring blankly at him while he's talking. "Okay, we'll leave now. You can press that button if there's something wrong or you feel hurt again, okay?"
Most of his words I can't understand. It's hard to understand.
They leave the room now. I tried to get up to this bed even I felt how my knees struggling to my weight. I still managed.
I tried to detached the needle with a long plastic rope that connects to the plastic bag that hanged to the steel stand. I don't know what it is called.
I've been here a lot of times but I'm not familiar with their equipment here. I'm confused.
Everywhere I go, I am always confused.
- Writer
